Much Ado About Vampires

Alec had heard the phrase about senses "swimming" in the past, but he never truly understood just what it meant until he woke from insensibility to find not just the room spinning around him but apparently the entire world.

He knew he was gravely wounded by the fact that he didn't have the strength to reach out mentally to make sure Cora was not harmed in any way. The fact that he felt as drained of life as when he had given up in the Akasha told him the rest of what he needed to know - that damned Eleanor had killed him.

Well, almost killed him. The bitch. And to think he'd spent centuries mourning her death.

After a few minutes of thinking indignantly about that fact, and dwelling, with much pleasure, on the thought of how Cora would fuss over him once he was recovered enough to tell her that he had almost died, the distant nagging of a familiar heat warned him that his body was making a tremendous effort to repair itself.

He stopped struggling to reach Cora, and relaxed, letting what remained of his energy focus on healing the damage. It wasn't until a sense of her despair reached him that he tried again to reach her mind, reassured by the joy evident in her thoughts that she really did love him as she claimed.

He smiled to himself as Cora ranted to him about Eleanor, aware now of the faint sounds of Pia and Kristoff speaking over him as they bound his wounds. With that awareness came pain, intense pain, an agony that seared through his body and left him breathless with the need to scream, but he knew that would be a wasted effort.

Instead, he pushed the pain down, fighting to keep his mind clear of the agony that threatened to consume him. Only when he was in control of it did he open his eyes and look up at Kristoff as his arm was bound to his chest.

"Thanks," he said, his voice coming out cracked and rough with pain.

Kristoff gave him a smile, but was immediately pushed out of the way by Pia, who bent over him, her face wet with tears, as she said, "Alec! Don't speak!"

"Hello, Pia," he said, summoning up a little smile for her.

"Hush! And stop trying to move. Kristoff has bound up your neck and shoulder, but you shouldn't try to move anything until after the healer comes to take care of you."

He was touched by the evidence of Pia's tears, but his thoughts, inevitably, turned to Cora. What had she thought when she first believed he was dead? Was she angry? Sad? Relieved?

Try devastated beyond human belief, and if you don't do what Pia says and relax so you can heal, you'll find out just how cranky feelings of devastation make me.

Alec relaxed, smiling once again to himself at the gentle caress of her mind, ignoring both the hunger that gnawed deep inside him and the pain that lingered even as his body struggled to make whole once again that which had been destroyed.

He drifted for a bit, jerking back to awareness only when some vague sense of danger finally permeated his dulled senses.

With tremendous strength, he shoved himself away from where he was slumped against the wall, staring with growing fury at the scene before him. "You would do this now? " he snarled in a rough, almost unrecognizable voice as he struggled to his feet, one arm still bound to his chest. "Kris, you should have stopped Sally."

"Oh, for the love of god," Pia muttered, hurrying over to him. "Don't distract Cora! Sally said it's very important that no one disrupt the process, or she'll lose control of Bael."

Beloved, what the hell do you think you're doing?

Cora shot him a startled glance before facing the monstrosity that snarled and screamed in front of her. I'm helping get rid of Bael. You're the one who said that's what needs to be done. Why are you up? How do you feel? Are you in pain? You are, aren't you? I can feel you hiding something from me. Lay back down, you silly man, and I'll feed you as soon as I'm done here.

"I am not a child that you must order me around," he answered, trying to wrap his dignity around him, but it was difficult to do so while listing heavily to one side.

Cora must have noticed the list. "Sit down before you hurt your owies."

"I am a Dark One!" he said, managing to stand upright at last, ignoring the pain and tearing feeling on his left side. "We do not have owies! We have grievous, nearly fatal injuries!"

The entity that was Bael in his true form writhed and twisted upon itself as it cursed in Latin.

"Seriously?" Sally said, tsking and shaking her head at the horrible sight. "I don't think you're in any position to make threats like that."

"Pia," Cora said, not taking her eyes from the nowconstantly morphing figure of Bael, his form changing from human to demonic and all variations in between. "Would you please get Alec a chair before he does more damage to, or topples over from, his grievous, nearly fatal injuries?"

Bael shifted his form from that of a horned, pustulated, slimy demonlike being to the form he wore previously. "You will suffer as no one has ever suffered," he told Sally, his eyes literally glowing red. "Do not think that my generosity with you in the past will affect my punishment of this insurrection."

"It's mutiny, I think. Isn't it?" Sally asked Diamond.

Alec lurched over to Cora's side, wrapping one arm around her protectively. Do not fear, Beloved. I am here to protect you.

My fear is for you, not me, silly, she answered, but with her words came a warm rush of love so great it almost brought him to his knees in profound gratitude. You idiot man, you.

"Death will seem like heaven by the time I'm done with you," Bael snarled at Sally, impotent to act, clearly bound by his own power that Sally was using against him. The three Tools stood in a semicircle before her, their hands touching, providing an arc through which the power was focused directly at Bael, bathing the demon lord in a blue-black light.

"Here, Alec, sit in this." Pia dragged the mangled remains of a chair over toward him. He didn't spare it so much as a glance.

"Your death, when it pleases me to end your torment, will be my most exquisite act yet," Bael promised her, his voice stretched thin as he fought the bonds of his own power. "I will make you wish that no woman had ever pushed you from her body!"

Diamond giggled.

"Oh, Bael, and I hoped we could do this without threats and name-calling," Sally said, sadly shaking her head.

"Hope has deserted you," Bael growled in a voice that made Alec want to push Cora behind him.

"You think?" Sally tipped her head to the side, and smiled. "You know, for one of the most powerful beings on the planet, you're awfully careless about what goes on in Abaddon, specifically . . . but no, you probably aren't interested."

"Careless? I am never careless. Every action, every detail, has been part of my master plan." Bael looked almost insulted at such an accusation. "Do not allow your ignorance to confuse lack of attention with indepth schemes the like of which you will never understand."

"Really? " Sally gave a one-shouldered shrug. "So then you knew all along who I am?"

Alec heard something in her voice that had him (painfully and with much stiffness) turning to look at her. Kristoff's eyebrows were raised, indicating that he, too, had picked up on it. He glanced at Cora. She seemed perfectly in control, her expression serene.

Bael's eyes narrowed until they were little black slits. "Your role in my plan has always been minor, and thus, your origins concern me not."

"Oh, you say things like that and I just can't resist showing you," she responded with a light, tinkling laugh, and for an infinitesimally small fraction of a second, a golden flash of light blinded Alec. It was gone before he could even blink, but he knew by the expression of profound disbelief on Bael's face that he hadn't imagined it.

"You . . . that can't . . . how . . ." Bael got a grip on himself and took a deep breath, obviously in preparation for what was likely to be a group-wide curse. Alec couldn't risk Cora being injured, and lurched toward the demon lord to stop him.

"Silence!" Sally commanded, her voice a whipcrack that was almost painful to hear. Alec hesitated, glancing at her. "As delightful as it would be to chitchat more, Diamond has things to do, and Cora's Dark One appears to be under the misimpression that he is well enough to stand, so I'll cut this short and simply say that Bael, known also as Beelzebub, premiere prince of Abaddon, ruler of seven hundred legions, by this light, by my virtue, by my being, I do banish thee."

Bael's scream of pure hate was a horrible thing to behold, the rage in it so great, it slammed through the room with the impact of a small bomb. Alec staggered backward, doing his best to protect Cora from it despite the pain that seared through his still damaged body. He gritted his teeth, fighting to keep from losing consciousness, determined with every atom of his being to protect her or die trying.

So melodramatic. Are you going to be like this when you get a cold? Because my ex-husband used to be the biggest baby in the world whenever he got sick or hurt, but he has nothing on the sort of thing you're thinking right now. As if I'd let you die.

You seem to be confused about our roles, he answered, slowly straightening up as the last echo of Bael's scream faded. He helped Cora over a small table that had been sent flying toward them. I am the Dark One; you are the Beloved. I protect you. That is my role in life.

And here I was hoping it was to provide me with never-ending highly erotic nights, she said with a faux sigh, her arm sliding around his waist as she leaned into him, the scent of her making his head spin with need and happiness and hunger.

"That's . . . that's it?" Pia asked as she and Kristoff slowly picked their way across the furniture that had been toppled in Bael's wake. "You just say a few things and he's gone?"

"Well . . . I could have made it a big production if it would have been more satisfying," Sally said, getting down from the piece of rock that had thrust itself up through the floor. "I just assumed everyone had better things to do."

"But . . ." Pia looked around the room as if seeking an answer. "But that was so easy. Why didn't you do that before?"

"Easy? Oh, lawks a-mercy, no, it wasn't easy." Sally shook her head. "Bael was the premier prince, sugar. You don't get to be the premier prince unless you're packing a whole lot of wallop, if you know what I mean. And Bael had more wallop than anyone I'd ever met, which is curious, really, when you think about it. . . ." Sally looked thoughtful as her voice trailed off.

"I'm still confused," Pia complained.

"I think it was us, Pia," Ulfur told her, relief evident in every line in his body. "I think we made the difference. Being Tools, that is."

"If Bael's gone, does that mean no one can call me a Tool again?" Cora asked Alec, her hands gently caressing his arm and chest as she checked his injuries. Do you still hurt?

Not when you are near. "Yes, that is exactly what it means. Thank you, Sally," he said, giving the petite woman a formal bow.

Sally, who had just resummoned Sable and was giving orders in a low tone, waved her hand in acknowledgment.

"But . . . they're just three people. I mean, I understand they're conduits and all. . . ." Pia shook her head. "I guess I'm missing something."

Kristoff bent his head to whisper in her ear.

"I think it's just that we're awesome when joined together," Cora said with a little laugh, licking the tip of Alec's nose. His heart warmed at the silly gesture. He wanted to sing and dance, to shout from the highest peak that Cora loved him.

"Say it again," he demanded of her.

She smiled a secret smile that delighted him to the tips of his toes, her dark eyes glowing with love. "Te amo."

"Speaking of that, Cora, sugar, if you're going to molest your Dark One, why don't you do it somewhere private rather than jumping his bones right here where any of the demon lords coming to pay me homage can see? If you're worried about Alec's injuries, you can use one of the rooms on the human side of the house if you like." Sally, having dismissed Sable once again, brushed past them, straightening the little red wool jacket and patting her hair. "Now, should my first act as premier prince be to restructure the hierarchy, or to install high-speed wireless Internet in Abaddon? I'm thinking the latter. I'm just a grouchy ole thing if I have to go a day without my LOLcats."

"LOLcats? Right, that's it!" Cora said, turning in his arms to frown at Sally. "One minute you're being all nice, and apparently perfectly normal, if slightly obsessed about hair and makeup, and the next you're the evil demon lord who wants to conduct the most horrible tortures upon us, and hand us over to Bael so he can destroy us."

"Are you destroyed? " Sally asked her sweetly, and Alec could feel the frustration and genuine confusion that gripped his Beloved.

"No, of course not," Cora said with a glance over her shoulder to him.

"Then I didn't want to hand you over to Bael."

You're not in the least bit concerned about Sally despite the fact that she is the source of all our troubles, are you? Cora asked.

She isn't, you know. For some reason, she just likes to make it look that way.

Cora sighed into his mind. I'm missing something, aren't I?

You didn't happen to see a flash of light a few minutes ago, did you?

Huh?

I'll explain it later, if Sally doesn't do the job herself.

Cora rubbed her temple as if she had a headache forming. "You didn't want to hand us over to Bael, and yet you told him you were doing just that. How is bringing us to Abaddon not handing us over to him?"

"Cora, Cora, Cora. I don't know where you get your ideas about dear Sally, but I can assure you that you really are not being quite fair to her. Oh dear, is that the time? Dee will be absolutely furious with me. I must go reassure him that all is well." Diamond bustled over to them, patting Cora's hand and kissing her cheek before turning her eyes to Alec. "You take care of her, now."

"I intend to," he said gravely, amused that anyone could imagine he would do anything but worship the woman who made him whole again.

Diamond took her leave, greeting a man as he strolled into the twisted remains of a ballroom.

"Somehow, I knew you'd be here," Cora said to Terrin as he made a bow in their direction.

"Indeed? I take it all is well?" He looked around the room with curious eyes before turning back to Sally. "I thought you said the room was full of liches and Dark Ones? "

"It was, darling, it was positively teeming with them! You couldn't put so much as an iron maiden down without hitting one or the other of them."

"Iron maiden!" Cora said, straightening from where she had been leaning against him. "You're back to that, are you?"

Sally giggled. "I just put that in to see if you were listening, sugar. I would never use an iron maiden."

Cora glared at her with suspicion.

"Now, a Catherine wheel is a whole other matter. One of the demon lords - you wouldn't know him; Bael had him expulsed because of his dragon consort, and oh, there's ever such an interesting story to be told about them, but far too long to go into here since I am a busy person now that I'm the premier prince . . . where was I?"

"One of the demon lords?" Terrin prompted, propping one hip on an edge of the table.

"Oh, yes, one of the demon lords had such interesting ideas about ways to use a Catherine wheel, given to him, he says, by a Spanish wyvern's mate who was very inventive when it came to matters of bondage and such. But I digress. How are things at home?"

The last question was directed to Terrin.

"Fine, although the mares are a bit distressed that - "

"What is this?" A man's roar interrupted him, ripping through the room with the force of a bulldozer. Instantly, Alec moved to guard Cora, aware of her mingled annoyance and appreciation over that fact, amused when she grumbled to herself about men who had to learn a thing or two about women.

Terrin turned in surprise to look at the slight, small dark-haired man who strode into the room, a piece of paper clasped in his hands.

"Who are you? " Alec demanded, Kristoff moving Pia to stand next to Cora, the two men presenting a solid, protective front. Alec knew full well the newcomer was a demon lord, and thus not likely to bother them, but Cora had been through a lot, and he wanted nothing more than to get her away from all this business so he could seduce her as she deserved to be seduced.

She pinched his back and ignored his demand to stay behind him, her arm around his waist as she stood next to him.

"I am Asmodeus," the man answered, dismissing them with a curl of his lip as he shoved the paper at Sally. "What does this mean?"

"You got the e-mail already?" Sally gave a little shake of her head. "I told Sable to wait until the others were gone. Oh, well, I suppose you're here to make a scene about the fact that I've banished Bael to the Akasha."

"No," Asmodeus said, his expression closed. "That act can only gain my approval. I am here to claim the position of premier prince."

Are you sure I can't be used as a Tool anymore? That guy looks mean enough to use me against Sally. Or, heaven forbid, you, if you keep thinking those things about what you'll do to him if he so much as looks my way. Really, Alec, I'm a big girl.

Unbidden, his hand slid up to cup her ass, just the thought of it and her hips and breasts, and all the rest of her, making him hard. A fact for which I'm prepared to get down on my knees and thank whatever fates, gods, or circumstances sent you into my life, but that is really not the important point at this moment, Beloved, so you can cease trying to seduce me with your hips and long, long legs that wrap so nicely around me when I thrust into your heat.

"Of course you are," Sally said in a soothing voice. "But you see, I've taken that position. I believe that traditionally the position of a banished demon lord goes to the banishee, and that would be me."

Cora moaned into his head, giving herself a little shake. You are so going to get pounced on when you're healed up. Can I still be used, or not?

No. Bael's power is no more.

Then why are you so concerned about protecting me from this guy?

"You cannot be premier prince," Asmodeus said in a flat, emotionless voice.

It is my nature. I explained that earlier.

Yeah, yeah, all that macho stuff that doesn't cut squat with me. Is he a danger to us?

"Um . . . I think I am the premier prince. Aren't I?" Sally looked down at herself. "Yes, yes I am. Asmo, dumplin', we've never really seen eye to eye ever since that holiday party that I threw last year, when you insisted that Bael remove me from Abaddon because I may have spiked the eggnog, and subsequently your wrath demons got a bit tipsy and thought it would be a hoot and a half to drug you and put you in a vat of Jell-O so all of your legions could have their pictures taken indulging in nude Jell-O wrestling with you - which, I have to admit, was a hoot and a half - but I can see you're still holding that bit of festive frolicking against me. My advice is just to get over it, and move on. I'm boss now."

I don't see how he could be a threat. That is the reason Kristoff and I have allowed him to continue.

Cora smothered a laugh at Sally's conversation. He looks like he's going to explode. Maybe we should move back? I wouldn't want your owies to hurt again.

They have healed, and I have to admit to wanting to stay a few more minutes, despite the temptation you pose.

"You are not," Asmodeus insisted.

Why?

Because I think Sally is about to explain something important.

"Look, this is how it works - I banish Bael, and that makes me the boss," Sally started to say, but Asmodeus cut her explanation short.

"You cannot be the premier prince of Abaddon because it is not allowed." Asmodeus gestured toward Terrin. "I had my suspicions before, but this proves it."

"Oh, dear," Terrin said, getting to his feet and moving over to stand next to Sally, who didn't look in the least bit concerned by what Asmodeus was saying. "Sally, my sweet, perhaps now would be a good time to dismiss the others."

She glanced toward them, a twinkle visible in her eye. "Oh, I think they've earned the right to see this to the end, don't you? Cora and Ulfur certainly have, and since the Dark Ones helped, they deserve to stay, as well."

"Thank you," Alec said politely as Kristoff bowed, and said, "We are all gratitude."

"It doesn't matter who is here - the news will be made public throughout the Otherworld so that everyone will know of your perfidy," Asmodeus said, looking almost bored now.

"I'm still confused," Pia murmured. "Why can't Sally be the head boss if she took down Bael? Doesn't that make her the strongest?"

"That's a very good question," Cora said, then addressed Asmodeus. "What perfidy? Other than, you know, kidnapping us and all that jazz, which Alec swears wasn't bad, but I still have my doubts."

Sally blew her a little kiss. Cora grimaced.

"She can't be the premier prince for the reason that the Sovereign is not allowed to rule Abaddon as well as the Court of pine Blood."

Alec smiled, glad his suspicion was confirmed, aware at the same time of Cora's gasp of surprise and jerk to the side.

"The . . . the . . . you mean . . . no!" she stammered, taking a step toward Sally. "You can't be God! You're all wrong for God! Not the fact that you're a woman, although all of those plagues and wiping out of innocents sounds like the act of a man rather than a woman, but no, I just refuse to accept that you're God."

"I'm not," Sally said, giving her a sympathetic pat on the arm. "For one, the Sovereign isn't the same as the mortal concept of a Christian God. For another . . ." She slid a glance toward Terrin.

"Jesus wept!" Cora exclaimed, clearly missing the irony of her words, running her hands through her hair. "God is married?"

Sally's eyebrows rose. "You mean Terrin? Oh, we're not married."

Alec thought Cora was going to explode with frustration. Her hair stuck out at odd angles as she all but screamed, "God is living in sin? What the hell?"

"Abaddon - " Terrin started to correct, but stopped at a look from Alec.

"Terrin isn't my lover," Sally said with an irrepressible giggle. "He's my . . . well . . . my other half."

Enlightenment flooded Alec at that moment, the explanation of Terrin's role sliding together like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

"But - you said you were together. Earlier today you said that," Pia said, looking almost as confused as Cora.

"We are. He's my other half."

"We couldn't exist without each other," Terrin explained, obviously taking pity on them. "Think of it as a symbiotic relationship. A platonic one - I'm dating a power, as a matter of fact, and I believe before Sally took over the demon lord Magoth's position, she was seeing one of the cherubs who was responsible for the Internet."

"LOLcats," Sally said, nodding her head. "He's awesome about things like that."

"I'm so lost," Cora said, spinning around to look at him. "Alec? Is she God or not?"

"Not," he said, taking her in his arms and giving her a little kiss just to stop her from pulling out all her hair. "Together, Terrin and Sally are the Sovereign. They aren't a god, but they are good, so you can stop worrying that she's going to harm us."

"But she talked about torturing Ulfur and me," she protested. "Surely go - er . . . the Sovereign wouldn't do that? Surely he or she - "

"We're commonly referred to as it," Sally said with a little smile at Terrin.

" - surely it couldn't be a demon lord, could it?"

"Evidently she can." Alec wrapped both arms around her, providing her with the comfort he knew she needed.

"But wouldn't someone have recognized her? " Pia asked.

"I was wondering the same thing," Kristoff said, nodding as he glanced at Asmodeus. "Why would you not tell the other demon lords who she was?"

"I didn't know. It wasn't until I saw the two of them together that I could see her for what she is."

"Separate, we're nothing, just . . . well, just people," Sally explained. "I made sure that Terrin never came for a visit while I was in my palace here, just in case someone saw us together."

"Until now," Cora pointed out.

"Yes, well." Sally made a vague gesture. "It was inevitable that sooner or later someone would figure it out and take the premier princedom from me. I'm just sorry it was sooner; I was really looking forward to being the head demon lord. I don't suppose - "

"No," Asmodeus snapped. "Make me the premier prince now, and I will allow the others to go unscathed."

Sally sighed. "You just have no idea what you're missing not having me as a boss. Fine, you can have the job. I'll just spend all the energy I would have had to reorganizing Abaddon into thwarting your every move. Happy now?"

Asmodeus just looked at her with an expressionless mask, before turning to face toward Alec and the others. "You have three minutes to leave Abaddon. If you are here beyond that time, I will take you prisoner."

"The agreement between Abaddon and the Moravian Council - " Kristoff started to say, but was interrupted.

"The agreement is null and void as of this moment. You have two minutes and forty seconds remaining."

Before Alec could do so much as protest the cavalier overturning of an agreement that had stood between Abaddon and the Dark Ones for centuries, Asmodeus disappeared in a cloud of oily black smoke.