“Am I just your human pet? Your slave? Your toy? Will you one day tire of me? What will become of me when that day comes? Will you discard me as you would any other human on this island?”
I was caught breathless at how stunning she looked as she spouted out question after question, her red locks as fire over her pale white face, her eyes – listless only moments ago – now burning with rage. Her beauty distracted me from the absurdity of the issues she was throwing my way. She meant the world to me, and as far as I was concerned, her fears, though understandable, were unfounded. I smiled when her lips finally settled into a small pout.
“You have a habit of asking one question after another before hearing the answers to any of them. Do you realize that?”
She glared at me, making it clear that I wasn’t about to charm my way out of this one. “Don’t make light of this, Derek. You hold my life and that of all other humans on this island in your hands. Can you blame me if I’m so fearful of you?”
I put on a straight face and cupped her face with both hands. “What do I have to do to ease your fears, Sofia? You mean everything to me. I’ve never loved a woman in my life. Not since you came along and…”
She pulled my hands away from her as if my touch somehow burned. “Don’t say things like that.” She stepped away from me. Her lips quivered as she spoke. “Not unless you mean it.”
Her withdrawal confused me and it took a couple of seconds for what she was saying to register in my mind. Once I understood, clarity came over me. I moved toward her and tilted her chin up. She moved her face to the side, refusing to look at me. I wouldn’t have it. I used my thumb to direct her face toward me, willing her to look at me. When she did, I planted a kiss – as tender as I could manage – on her forehead, her temple, her cheekbone, then on her lips.
“I love you, Sofia,” I whispered. “And I honestly believe that I could never love another woman for the rest of my life. For the first time in the past five hundred years, I am sincerely thankful for my immortality, because without it, I never would’ve found you.”
Once the words came out, I felt vulnerable to her. The words rushed out of my lips without hesitation, but it never dawned on me that she may not feel the same way until I confessed my heart out to her. I felt foolish under her gaze, her silence killing me.
“For crying out loud, Sofia. Say something.”
All I got from her was a soft, sweet smile as her hands found mine. Wordlessly, she led me to my bedroom. I watched as she bared herself to me and lay down in the center of my bed. Her surrender was my challenge. She was a fragile porcelain doll in my hands, one I loved, one I couldn’t afford to shatter. I took great lengths to be as gentle with her as possible, afraid to hurt her. Her gasp of pain made me ache with guilt when her maidenhead gave way beneath me. Still, somewhere between the pleasure and the pain, I knew everything was going to be alright when her warm lips brushed the lobe of my ear, her arms clinging over my neck.
She whispered, “I love you too, Derek.”
CHAPTER 50: SOFIA
When I woke up, eyes still closed, my senses in a half-asleep, half-awake state, the first sensation that greeted me was the slightest ache between my legs. What have I done?
I kept my eyes shut as I thought over what I just allowed myself to do. My head was rested on his arm. Rock solid. Not exactly the most comfortable pillow. I could feel the weight of his arm over my waist, his fingers brushing the ends of my long hair. I felt the heave and sigh of his chest, my hands curved in front of me, the only thing keeping our bare bodies apart. The recollection of his toned torso, his strength, his brilliant blue eyes and the way he held me, the control he had sent shivers throughout my body.
I recalled what Ben told me back at the beach after our escape from The Shade. Sandcastles always fall, Sofia… you might as well bid it farewell sooner rather than later.
I opened my eyes and noticed how serene Derek looked asleep. I couldn’t even remember if I had ever woken up before him. It felt like the first time I ever saw him in deep slumber, looking more content than I’d ever seen him. There was a faint smile on his face and my heart leapt at the idea that maybe I was the reason behind that smile.
What I have with you… Is it a sandcastle? Will I one day have to watch it broken by time and nature’s waves?
I gently lifted his arm away from my waist, careful not to wake him. I sat up on the bed, over the edge of it, groaning at the slight ache I felt in my body. I got up and picked up my black lace lingerie from the floor, slipping them back on. As I pulled a silk night shift over my body, I kept my eyes on Derek, trying to recall what had been going through my mind as I bared myself before him the night before.
I knew what reason dictated. He was immortal and I wasn’t. I would grow old one day and he would remain the same. I dreaded the day he might grow tired of me. What we had was a sandcastle, beautiful but temporary. So why did you give yourself to him in this way, Sofia?
I made my way to my bedroom as noiselessly as I could and retrieved my sketch book and pencil from my belongings. I returned to his bedroom relieved to find that he was still asleep. I saw the trace of blood on his bed sheet, a reminder of what I had surrendered to him.
I pulled the red velvet ottoman near the edge of his bed and sat down across him, and began sketching him, never wanting to forget that moment. I knew why I gave myself to him and I didn’t regret it. Just because sandcastles are temporary, it never stopped me from making them as beautiful as possible. As I sketched his appearance, I couldn’t shy away from the truth that was staring me right in the face. I was in love with Derek Novak and the idea that he returned my affections thrilled me.