I take a deep breath, running my hands over my jeans and then move forward.
I spot Raven inside first, she sits at the end of one of the couches, her hair wrapped around her wrist as she watches Maybell try to comfort Zoey.
Rolland paces the back of the room, freezing when I enter.
Maybell seems to breathe a sigh of relief and slowly shifts from Zoey’s view.
Her little head tips back, tear-streaked face looking up at me, cheeks red and puffy. Spotting me, she cries even louder.
She lifts her arms, but I only move a step closer. “Rora! Daddy movie. Please.” She cries.
Daddy movie.
Oh shit.
I swallow, giving her a little smile. “Okay, ZoZo. Just a minute, okay?”
I turn toward Captain, who glares at me, unsure. “She wants to watch your videos.”
“We tried every movie in that thing.” He nods his chin toward a small box near the screen. “Whatever she wants isn’t in there.”
I shake my head. “She wants your videos.”
“Wait.” Raven shifts looking at me. “Maria said she watches your games.”
I nod. “Where’s her tablet?”
Zoey starts to cry louder, and all eyes turn to her.
Each blink is slower than the last.
Baby girl is fighting her sleep.
She sniffles, turning her head into the pillow.
I turn to Captain. “Her tablet?”
Royce slips past him, moving a blanket on the couch and picking it up.
He gives it to Captain who hesitates a moment longer, but when Zoey starts crying again, wiping at her hair with her hands, he holds it out.
I take it and open the files, moving toward the TV stand. I look around, but all the cords are hidden in the wall, the giant TV stretching from one end to the next and mounted in.
Shit.
“I need something to plug it into.”
“I can hold it.” Captain rushes over to Zoey, helping Maybell up so he can slide in. He lifts her, sitting back with her at his side, but Zoey fights him, crying and throwing herself onto the cushion to his left.
Every inch of his face is pulled tight, and he can’t look up.
It’s as if this makes him feel incapable, shameful.
Unworthy of caring for her.
Raven stands, moving closer.
“She’s just tired, not feeling well,” I whisper, and a shred of hope seems to seep into him. “It happens.”
He holds my stare a long moment, and then gives a curt nod.
He wants to believe what I’m saying.
Zoey is restless, moving all around beside him.
I turn to Royce. “Your laptop, can you get it and a cord? It’ll be easier, so he can hold her if she wants.”
He glares but slips out and Raven moves to lean in where he’s just vacated.
Royce returns quickly, and I plug it in, loading the videos on the screen, but I don’t click play.
Zoey pushes herself up, but she’s too sleepy to sit and falls against Captain’s shoulder.
“Daddy movie coming, Rora?” Zoey tries to catch her breath.
I smile softly, not looking across the room as I slip around the coffee table.
I lower to my knees in front of her, nodding. “It’s coming, ba—” I clamp my mouth shut. “But if you want to watch, you have to take your medicine, okay?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Then no movie.”
Captain’s back shoots straight, and I know he’s glaring at me, angry that I dare deny her, angry that I dare sit here and say a damn thing at all, but if she has a fever, she needs it. Not only to bring it down, but to make her feel okay enough to sleep, but then Zoey’s little cries soften, and she scoots herself to the edge, her feet now dangling in front of me.
“It’s yucky?” she asks.
I nod, lifting my fingers up to indicate a little bit.
Suddenly Maybell is there holding it out, but Zoey doesn’t look at her, she starts tugging at the strings hanging from my zip-up.
“Rora do it.” She scoots closer to me, still fighting for a normal breath.
I blindly grab the little plastic dispenser, reaching out for her sippy cup that she must have kicked over.
“Ready?” I ask.
She tips her head all the way back, opening her mouth, and I pour it in, quickly handing her her water.
She makes a face, whining a little, and then takes a drink as she scoots back again.
“Good job, mama.”
She smiles, drags her stuffed train into her chest and climbs into Captain’s lap.
He quickly opens up to let her settle in, kissing her head as he wraps his arms around her, his eyes closing a moment as he does.
I quickly look away, feeling all the attention in the room now focused on me.
I press play, and within seconds, the boys’ laughter fills the room as the videos of them practicing basketball play on the small screen.
Right as I stand, Maddoc is sliding into the room with a tense expression. His eyes go straight to Zoey and his shoulders relax some. He tugs Raven from Royce and all three step closer, glancing at the screen from behind the couch.
“What is this?” Royce asks.
Nobody speaks though, the answer obvious.
It starts with them practicing at the park, but it’ll switch to their game soon.
“Miss Maybell,” Rolland whispers, finally having stopped pacing. “I’ll drive you back to the house. I think we’ll be okay through the night now.”
My shoulders tense and I go to walk past Captain and Zoey, but she kicks her foot out, blocking my leg.
“Hu-mon, Rora. Wanna watch him?”
My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I force my lips together, and begin shaking my head, but then Captain’s foot slides forward, hitting mine and my eyes jolt up.
I guess to deny her right now is too much as tension weighs in his gaze, a silent plea he shares only with me. There’s a warning there, too, indicating I better not tell her no, even if I wanted to.
My stomach turns as I look her way and nod.
“Heck yeah, ZoZo.” I drop onto the plush carpet several spaces away, but where I can still see the screen.
On the video, the boys goof around, trying to make trick shots and dunk on each other.
When Zoey’s tearful voice says, “And one,” right as Captain does on the video, soft chuckles fill the room.
Something inside me settles, all while a knot forms in my chest as I remember my place, or lack thereof.
Another minute or two passes, and in my peripheral I see Royce slowly make his way out as Maddoc moves closer, his hand coming down on Cap’s shoulder.
Captain nods and they too leave, the lights dimming as they exit.
And then it’s just us.
I chance a glance at Zoey who seems to be wide awake now, eyes glued to the screen.
She catches me looking and smiles, lifting her head.
Captain freezes when she climbs off him and crawls across the cushion, laying her head, right where my elbow is pressed.
She doesn’t say anything, just lies there, and I drink her in, knowing I might not have another opportunity to be near her like this.
I drop my arm, placing my chin on my hand and stare at her.
She giggles, stretching in to rub her nose along mine.
“Eskimo kisses,” I dare to whisper.
“Butterfly hugs,” she tries to whisper back.
I chuckle lightly at her pronunciation and horrible whisper, and then my eyes slice toward Captain.