We’re driving down the dirt road, the mansion now in view when my brother meets my eyes in the mirror.
He’s with me, they both will be, no matter what move I make or when.
I spent the rest of yesterday, and all fucking night, trying to work through my own head, and each time I came out even more unsure—a rarity for me.
I’m supposed to be the positive brother, the one who breaks down each scenario and helps his brothers see what their anger and defiance hides, only now I’m on the opposite side.
I’m full of blurred rage, craving defiance, and ready to risk all that I am.
I want to let go of all we are to uphold—respect, loyalty, trust—and gamble everything for what might be... my everything.
For who might be my everything.
Zoey will always be the most important person in my life, but Maddoc will soon have both—a child to love and protect, and a woman who was made just for him.
Is it wrong to want both?
Is it wrong to want her despite her lies?
The more I’m around her, the harder it gets to remain angry.
I thought I could bury everything under the sheets, focus on the physical and the rest would fade away, but I’m learning I’m not built like that.
Sex has always been about the moment, the sensations involved, a mutual night of fun.
I can’t do that with her and it’s frustrating.
Today, when she pushed the exact button she meant to and I carried her ass to the gym, I had every intention of getting her off, curb her appetite and mine, and then she teased.
Victoria looked me in the eye, hair spread all around, arm bent and fingers barely teasing at the edge of her face. Through her words, she smiled, words that indicated a future, or at the very least, more.
More of me.
More with me.
More of us.
A strange fullness spreads through me, tightening and weighing at my arms and legs. It takes effort to turn the wheel so I can curl around the driveway.
I’m losing it, my control.
Royce tips his chin, and my hands tighten against the cool leather.
It’s a switch, me being the one unwilling to see and him pushing me. I’m anxious and I hate it.
We were taught to trust our gut, but mine is split in fucking two, no part of me leaning any farther than the other.
She didn’t tell me she knew of my daughter, never shared Maria was her mother, never told us about the videos she recorded, all things that relate somehow to my little girl.
What else could she be hiding?
Royce’s words come crashing back, forcing me to wonder if there’s even a negative piece to her. Nothing I’ve learned tears at who she is.
Who was the lie for...
I let out a long exhale and put the SUV in park.
All my concerns fade into the background when my daughter’s little hand lifts to wave even though she can’t see through the windshield.
Like every day, Zoey is on the porch waiting, this time with a popsicle in her hands.
Once our doors start to open, she begins climbing down the steps.
I glance over my shoulder, and one of my eyes is aligned perfectly, able to meet Victoria’s through the small gap the opening allows.
Her face is pinched tight, flying from the open door and back to me, but light footsteps are where my focus lies, so I spin back around and move forward the last few spaces until I can pick up Zoey and toss her in the air, catching her on her way down.
She laughs and wraps one arm around me as she brings her popsicle back to her mouth. “Look it.” She licks it. “It’s orange.”
“It is orange, good job.” I bounce her and she giggles.
“Papa said I can have it.”
I chuckle and then Zoey is reaching past me.
“Uncle Bro!”
Royce roars and swings her from me, running a few feet and swinging her around.
She laughs, looking back this way.
There’s a light shuffle behind me, letting me know Victoria is climbing out, but I hold my breath, forcing myself to focus straight on.
Maddoc and Raven walk around the hood, and I’d bet we’re all curious to see what Zoey will do—go to them as she has every day or go to her.
“Baby!” she shouts next, and while I thought I’d gain relief, I’m no less edgy than I was five seconds ago.
I glance up at my dad on the porch, nodding lightly when he tips his chin, disappearing inside.
Zoey cups her mouth and starts talking to Raven’s belly, while Maddoc bends on one knee to listen, his eyes glued to Zoey’s face.
Victoria quietly closes the door and slowly steps beside me.
I don’t move my eyes to hers, and she doesn’t say anything, not until Zoey notices she’s there and damn, if a big, bright smile doesn’t cover her face.
She drops her popsicle and runs over.
Victoria stiffens, maybe unsure of where Zoey is headed, to her or to me, or maybe it’s of how we’ll react. I can’t be sure, but the second it’s clear her entire aura changes.
Victoria laughs, a soft and airy sound, and throws her arms out.
“Hey Mama!” Victoria calls with excitement.
Zoey claps and runs right up for Vee to lift her.
I can’t not look.
My entire body turns to watch as Zoey’s forehead falls to Victoria’s.
Her hands come up to her cheeks next, and Zoey giggles.
“Look at you, ZoZo.” She smiles, squeezing her. “You’re all better.”
She nods, her nose gently and like second nature, brushes with Victoria’s. “And you’re all better, too?”
Victoria inhales deeply, her eyes closing, a smile I can hardly handle directed at my little girl—the most honest smile I’ve ever witnessed.
Real, loving.
Fuck.
She loves my daughter?
My mind races, panic flaring, and I’m ready to snag Zoey away, but Royce comes up, clamping a hand on both of their shoulders and both their heads move his way.
“Oh, yeah, Zoey Bear. VicVee’s real good. Daddy made her feel all sorts of better.”
“Oh my god.” Raven shakes her head, her hand coming up to hide her smile.
My muscles lose some tension and I too fight a chuckle, but then Victoria’s eyes slide to mine briefly and I’d swear a hint of color rises up her cheeks.
“Yay!” Zoey, completely oblivious shouts, kicking her feet until she’s set down and runs back for the house. “Hu-mon, guys! Miss Maybell maked cookies! Chocolate ones, Uncle Bro!”
Light chuckles float across us, and slowly everyone moves for the house, but Victoria only makes it a single step before she pauses, glancing at me over her shoulder.
She doesn’t say anything, and when she walks away, she doesn’t go into the house like I thought she would. As far as I can tell, her smile never falters as she steps around the property, disappearing from my view.
And all I can think of is how I want her back in sight.
She smiled at her as if she was all she saw.
All she needed.
All she had.
I will never unsee the sight.
Never.
As if that was all I was supposed to write, the ink in my pen dies, leaving me to stare at the half blank page.
So I push to stand, slip from my room and down the hall to hers.
Victoria sits on her windowsill, and as her head lifts to mine, I’d swear she was waiting for me.