Awake at Dawn

The knock sounded on her bedroom door not three minutes after she crawled into her bed and pulled the covers over her face and continued to cry. "Go away," Kylie called out.

The door opened. She yanked the cover from her face, expecting to see Holiday. But nope, Derek stood there with a heck of a lot concern for her shimmering in his eyes.

Seeing it only made her start crying harder. She cried because of her dad, and she cried because she felt bad about the dreams she'd had about Lucas. Derek rushed over to the bed and pulled her against him. If he read any of her emotions about guilt, he didn't say it. He just held her. And she loved him for doing that, too.

She buried her head on his shoulder and continued to sob in his arms. She didn't care that she was getting tears and snot all over his shirt. His arms felt so good wrapped around her and while he didn't say it, the way he held her said he didn't care about his shirt, either. Good thing, because when she got through crying, it was really going to be a mess.

"Hey?" Another voice came from the open door.

Kylie pulled away and saw Della and Miranda standing there.

"I could turn him into a toad if you want," Miranda said, waving her pinky. "Or maybe a skunk. I could use the practice."

Socks, who'd been sleeping at the foot of the bed, raised his head, meowed loudly as if in agreement, and then shot off to hide under the bed.

Della snarled. "I could pick him up and drag him up a tree and then drop him on his head a few times until he comes to his senses."

Kylie cried harder and then for some reason she started laughing. She wiped her eyes and looked at three of the most beautiful people in her world right now. "Did I really say that in front of all your parents?"

"Yup. I think my dad had a stroke," Della said, grinning from ear to ear. "It came just at the right time, too. He'd been grilling me about drugs again."

"My mom passed out cold," Derek teased.

Then they all started laughing. Kylie collapsed against Derek again. When she pulled back, she wiped her face and looked up.

And that's when it happened. That's when Kylie's whole world opened up in a way it never had opened up before.

She blinked. At first, she thought there was just something wrong with her eyes. But nope. There was no mistaking it. She could see inside their foreheads. She could see into them the way she'd seen into Daniel's head in the vision. She, Kylie Galen, could finally see supernatural patterns. "I'm doing it, guys! I'm finally doing it!" She started bouncing up and down on the bed. "Holy crap, I'm really doing it."

"Doing what?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway.

He didn't call her pumpkin this time, but she recognized her dad's voice. He stood beside Holiday, who glanced at Kylie with a huge apology in her eyes. Obviously, her father had demanded she bring him here. "Can I have a word with my daughter alone?" He stepped inside her bedroom.

"Only if that's what she wants," Derek said, sounding defensive and older.

Kylie rested her hand on Derek's arm. "It's okay."

Derek stood from the bed, but he didn't stop glaring at her dad for one minute. To her dad's credit, he just stood there and took Derek's angry stare as if he knew he deserved it. Della actually growled, and Miranda twitched her little finger at him. Kylie hoped she remembered to give each of them a big hug later. "Come on, guys," Holiday said, and motioned for them to leave. They all stepped out of the room. Then Holiday reached in, her concerned gaze meeting Kylie's eyes right before she closed the door.

Kylie pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. Her heart must have dropped to her stomach because she could feel it pound in the pit of her gut. She stared at the top of her jeanscovered knees and not at him, because looking at him hurt too much.

Besides, if she looked at him, she might start crying again, and she didn't want to do that.

He sat down beside her on the twin bed. From the corner of her eye, she saw him fold his hands together in his lap. She heard him breathe. She heard herself breathe, too.

She closed her eyes.

Sooner or later, one of them had to talk. But for once Kylie decided not to be the bigger person here. Let him do all the work.

"I screwed up," he finally said. "I never dreamed I could screw up so badly."

Opening her eyes, she forced herself to look at him. The first thing she noticed was that he looked like her dad again. He wasn't wearing those tight jeans. His hair was combed like it should be and not spiked. He still had the highlights in his hair, but alone, they weren't so bad. "I don't blame you for being furious at me, but I do love you, Pumpkin."

He rested his hand on her knee and his touch sent tiny pinpricks of pain rushing to her heart. Tears filled her eyes.

She blinked, but didn't trust her voice to say anything just yet. And even if she did trust it, she wasn't sure what to say.

"I never wanted to hurt you," he continued. "I never dreamed that you'd be in town that day." He shook his head, closed his eyes, and when he opened them back up, she saw something she'd never seen before.

Her dad was crying. Real live tears, too. The ache in her chest doubled. "I don't know what got into me, Kylie. I lost my head. I turned forty and then your grandmother got sick and she died." He inhaled. "All I could think about was getting old. Then Amy-the girl at the office- she started flirting and it made me forget everything for a little while." His breath caught. "It made me forget that the most important people in the world to me are you and your mom."

Kylie knew it was her turn to talk, but she still didn't know what to say. She couldn't say she forgave him, because she didn't. Then a thought struck.

"Did your girlfriend break up with you?" Was that the only reason he was here now?

"Yeah." He looked embarrassed. Kylie was surprised he hadn't tried to deny it. "But that's not why ... I'd already realized how badly I'd screwed up before we broke up."

She remembered her mom telling her how her dad had deserved someone to love him as much he had loved her all those years. That's when Kylie felt a small part of herself give in. She couldn't stay mad at him forever. She just couldn't. Maybe she was ready to forgive.

He reached over and ran his hand over her head, the way he'd done all her life. "I love you, Kylie. You're my daughter."

No, I'm not. She remembered that he'd made her mother promise not to tell her about her real father and her anger returned.

She batted at her cheeks to remove her tears. Then she offered him the only thing she could. "I'm hurt and I'm really mad at you right now. As soon as it stops hurting so much, I might be able to forgive you. But not now."

He nodded. She watched a tear slip from his lashes. He wiped it away. Then he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Pumpkin. Just remember that."

As Kylie watched him get up to leave, she realized that just because you couldn't forgive someone didn't mean you stopped loving them.

She bounced off her bed and wrapped her arms around her daddy. He hugged her back. He hugged her so tight. And it felt so good, she wept on his shoulder. Big tears. Dinosaur tears he'd called them when she was young.

She knew that in just a second she was going to have to let go, and that she still wouldn't tell him he was forgiven, because he wasn't. But for just a few seconds she wanted to feel that her daddy loved her. And while she wasn't up to saying it yet, she hoped he understood she still loved him, too.

A few minutes after her dad left, Kylie was still stretched out on her bed when Holiday knocked on her door.

"You okay?" Holiday poked her head in the door.

"I'm working on it." Kylie had stopped crying. Something about her daddy's hug had eased some of the ache.

"You mind company, or would you like to be alone?"

"Company would be nice." She tried to see around Holiday. "Is everyone still out there?"

Holiday stepped into the room. "Just me. I made them go back and visit with their parents for a while."

"Good," Kylie said, and then recalled the scene she'd caused in the dining room. "I'm sorry about everything. I just lost it."

"Please." Holiday dropped onto the bed beside Kylie. "We needed a little excitement. I mean, if something crazy doesn't happen every fifteen minutes, it just doesn't feel right." She giggled.

Kylie grinned and then she remembered, excitement buzzing in her chest. "I did it. I..." She twitched her eyebrows and looked at Holiday. "I'm doing it now. I can see your pattern. You've got some horizontal lines and then ... and then triangle shapes on the left."

"That's great!" Holiday hugged her. "I knew it would happen for you. Congratulations."

"But does this mean I'm opening up, too? That people can read me now and I won't come across like a snooty bitch anymore? And can ... oh, man!" Hope started to build. "Can you see what I am? Look and tell me."

Holiday stared at Kylie's forehead. Her expression told Kylie the answer before Holiday spoke.

"Sorry. You're still a snooty bitch." Holiday grinned. "But it will happen any time now. Opening up takes more practice. Are you still doing your visualization exercises?"

"Not as often as I should," Kylie admitted. "But I'll start being better, I promise."

"Have you experienced any more of the sensitive hearing?"

"No. Why? Does that mean anything?" Did Holiday know something she wasn't saying? Did she think Kylie was back to being a werewolf now?

"No. I was just curious." Holiday reached up and tucked a strand of Kylie's hair behind her ear. "Are you really okay? You've had a rough few days."

"Tell me about it." Kylie's thoughts went back to the girls who were killed. She looked at Holiday. "What if ... What do I do if those girls from town-their ghosts, I mean-come to me to help them?"

Holiday gripped Kylie's hand. "That won't happen."

"How can you be so sure? If their spirits are still here and-"

"It won't happen," Holiday said with more certainty this time.

And that's when Kylie understood. "They came to you?"

She nodded. "I'm helping them cross over." Then Holiday gave Kylie a feel-better hug. Its soothing effects did wonders.

"Now, let's go back to you," Holiday said. "Are you okay?"

"Not completely okay," Kylie said, and then admitted a piece of truth that Holiday deserved to hear. "You were right. I feel a little better after seeing my dad. I didn't let him off the hook, either. I'm still furious at him, but ... I know he loves me. And I love him and sooner or later, I'm sure we'll be back to something that is almost normal."

Holiday leaned back on Kylie's pillow. "Normal is overrated, anyway."

"I'm beginning to wonder if I'd even recognize normal now." Kylie raised her thumb to her mouth and nipped at the corner of her nail.

"Well, if you did recognize it, you probably wouldn't like it anymore," Holiday teased.

"I just want to figure out this whole mystery with the ghost, if someone really needs me or doesn't need me. Do these ghosts have a clue what they put us through?"

"I don't think so." Holiday touched Kylie's arm again. "But I really believe everything is going to be okay."

For the next few minutes, only silence filled the room. Kylie looked down at Holiday resting on the bed. "Can I ask you something?"

Holiday cocked an eyebrow at her. "It doesn't involve Burnett, does it?"

"No," Kylie said. "But it's about boys."

"Okay, shoot." Holiday sat up.

"Is it ... normal if you really like one guy to still be infatuated with another?"

"The whole Derek and Lucas issue, huh?"

"Yeah." Kylie frowned. "But I liked it better when I didn't name them."

"Okay, no names. Two guys." She held out one finger. "First, we can't always control our attractions to other people. Take my aunt Stella, for example. She's been married to my uncle for fifty years, but the woman is goo-goo over Tom Selleck. Owns every movie and TV show he ever made, she spends hours every week watching him strut across her fifty-twoinch flat screen." Holiday gave Kylie a soft look as if she realized the whole Tom Selleck talk wasn't working. "I think I've said this to you before.

You are too young to worry about things like this."

"You're wrong," Kylie said. "Why wouldn't I worry? Just because a person is young doesn't mean that being loyal to someone isn't important.

And it still hurts if someone isn't loyal to you. It hurt like hell when Trey hooked up with another girl. It hurt Perry when Miranda kissed another guy, and they weren't even going out yet. Okay, I admit that at this age, it might not bring about the same disastrous outcome as ... as my dad cheating on my mom, but it still hurts. So I have to worry, because I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Wow." Holiday frowned and sat back up. "When you put it like that, you are so right, and I am so wrong. I'm sorry."

Kylie stared at the camp leader for a moment. "I appreciate your admitting you were wrong," Kylie said. Adults don't always do that.

"Is it okay if I try again to offer some advice?" Holiday asked. Kylie nodded.

Holiday paused in thought for a second. "Can I guess that this is all about the dream you had with Lucas?"

"You could guess," Kylie said. "But I won't confirm or deny it."

Holiday smiled. "Kylie, you didn't intentionally seek out the dream. You didn't even know you could do it. So you really aren't to blame.

And the fact that you find yourself attracted to more than one guy is completely normal. I've got three guys right now that all I have to do is think about and I start tingling all over."

Kylie gave Holiday's words serious thought. "But did you feel that when you thought you really cared about someone else?"

"Yeah. Even when I was engaged, I still could appreciate a goodlooking guy." She paused. "Being committed or loyal to someone doesn't mean you won't ever be attracted to someone else. It means you won't physically act upon the attraction." She grinned. "My aunt Stella, she used to tell my uncle he'd better pray Tom Selleck didn't show up on her doorstep asking her to run away with him. But the truth is, I know she'd turn Tom down flat. She loves my uncle Harry."

Holiday made a face. "Don't ask me why, though-he's bald, has a gut, and snores." She chuckled. "That said, I'll bet that woman has had some really hot fantasies about Tom."

Kylie laughed and then they both reclined back on the bed. The twinsize mattress offered just enough room for them both to stretch out with their shoulders pressed against each other. For a second they didn't talk.

Kylie stared at the ceiling and finally posed another question. "Is Burnett one of the guys who makes you tingle all over?"

"No Burnett questions, remember?"

"Okay," Kylie said. "But if I was older, he'd make me tingle."

Holiday laughed. "You and half the world. Including Selynn." The humor in her voice faded.

Silence reigned again. Maybe it was thinking about Selynn and Burnett that brought on Kylie's next question. "Lucas told me in his letters that he was trying to get permission to come back to the camp. Do you know if he's coming back?"

Holiday hesitated. "He'll be here either tomorrow or Tuesday."

"Is Fredericka coming with him?"

"Yeah," Holiday said.

"Great," Kylie muttered. So if she did morph into a werewolf, Fredericka, who would also be in wolf form, would probably chase her down and rip her wolf ass to shreds.

Her day was just getting better and better.