I turn on my heels and she meets me in the middle, stepping right in front of me. “I don’t give a shit what you think you saw or understood. I don’t give a shit what you tell these people and I surely don’t give a shit what you think, Vienna, so give it up already.”
My chest is heaving, and rage is once again building ... and she laughs.
What the hell?
“Man, Raven.” She shakes her head, fighting a smile. “You really are more fucked up in the head than I thought.”
“What are you doing?”
“I was coming to tell you I was pissed at you for going and getting yourself kicked out. You’re the only one – well were the only one – in the house I could stand. Guess it’s back to convos with my radio.”
“That’s pathetic.”
She shrugs with a half grin. “It is what it is, right?”
I survey her, finding she really does seem uninterested.
Honest.
I relax some. “Sorry to kill your house vibe.”
“Sorry I won’t get a chance to use you to get to ride on the Rolls Royce.” She wiggles her ass.
I laugh lightly. “Yeah, bet if you asked, he’d let you use him.”
“Just like that, huh?” She grins.
I sigh for dramatic effect. “Unfortunately, yes.”
The bell rings and she glances down the hall then back to me. “Well, stay real, Raven.”
I offer her a half smile then stand there and watch her leave.
Annoyed with myself, I smack the closest locker and lean my head against it.
I hate knowing that I bummed her out. It’s one of the exact reasons I don’t like people or making friends. I don’t want to have to meet other’s expectations or consider other people’s thoughts or feelings. Shit, I didn’t even realize Vienna and I were some sort of, I don’t know, not friends but two people who are comfortable around each other, before now.
Not that it matters at this point.
“Raven.”
Ugh, shoot me. Why didn’t I go to class?
I turn. “Principal Perkins. Hi.”
“Everything all right?” He approaches me, his hands slipping from his pockets as he does.
I square my shoulders and rid my face of any feebleness I may have let slip. “Fine. Going to class.”
I go to step around him, but he blocks my path, now standing to his full height.
“You sure? You seem a bit ... distracted.”
“How the hell would you know?” I go on the offensive.
His jaw sets at my tone, but he fights to stay professional. “I only mean, you seem like you could use someone to talk to. Do you need someone to talk to Raven? Maybe about some of your classmates? Are any of them being overly... authoritative?”
I ignore the question he’s pretending to ask and give him the answer to the one he really wants to know. “The Brays and I are far from on the same level, Mr. Perkins. They wouldn’t waste time on little old me.”
His eyes narrow slightly before he nods. He doesn’t believe me.
“I have more eyes around than you realize, Ms. Carver.” He looks from my sweatpants I never got to change and my oversized hoodie. “I’d be careful if I were you.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“I’m simply letting you know someone, somewhere, is always watching. Even when we least expect it—”
His words die off when a large body steps in front of me.
The screeches of leather against the floor tells me Perkins has moved back a few feet.
“Stay away from her.”
“She’s my student.”
“Let’s not do a recap on what belongs to who right now, Perkins.” Maddoc steps forward, and I move so I can see the principal’s face. “Stay a full ten feet from her. Add that to the list of shit you’re not in control of at our hand. Wouldn’t wanna go forgetting.”
“One day, Brayshaw.”
“Damn fucking right, Perkins.”
Perkins walks away and the farther he gets, the more Maddoc starts to shake.
I glance from the man leaving to the one in front of me.
“Big man—”
He swiftly turns toward me, a deep frown in place and if I were any weaker of a person – at least on the outside – I’d cower in regret.
When did they get close enough to bring out things inside me no one else has ever seen?
I turn and walk away.
None of the boys are in class all day, but all are sitting at the usual table when lunch rolls around. Too bad not one of us speaks the entire time and when the bell rings, they’re quick to take off, so I do the same. But my feet drag a little more than they did this morning.
Chloe talks her shit in PE, but it’s petty shit like poor form and a few digs at my baggy gym clothes, so I ignore her, grinning when I remember I won’t have to deal with her anymore.
After school, the boys aren’t there waiting. It’s as bitter as it is relieving.
I hang around a bit so the rest of the house girls and guys are already long gone by the time I make the trudge back.
When I get inside, a few girls look up from their homework tables, but none say a word.
I find Maybell in what just this morning was my assigned room but tomorrow could belong to someone new.
“Look, I’m ...” I trail off with a huff.
Maybell scoffs. “Can’t even fake an apology, can you dear?”
I shrug even though she can’t see me. “You really want one if it’s not real?”
She turns and sits on the edge of my bed, looking up at me. “No. I don’t. And I appreciate you not standing here making excuses for what you did. It was stupid. A bad choice. Impulsive. But you know all that already, which is why you did it.”
“What kind of place did you grow up in, Maybell?”
“A place where pride was both an honor and a curse. That sound familiar?”
I ignore the question. “Then you know I couldn’t allow them to think they had a say.”
“I do.” She crosses her arms and frowns at me. “But what ticks me off, girl, is you know as well as I do, you’d have figured out a way to do what you wanted anyhow. One way or another, whatever it was they were trying to stop you from, you’d have still done it. So why’d you self-sabotage so quick?”
“Because she’s poison.”
“And they’re strong.”
I open my mouth to speak but close it just as quick.
Shit.
“You need to learn how to stop and think before acting. I know, in your life, you’re accustomed to new people coming in and out, but maybe this is the first time you found some that you don’t completely hate being around. Those boys, they’re more than meets the eye. They need someone to care about and you fit more than you want to admit.”
“I don’t want it to be me.”
“Why?”
“Because I had no plan to stay around.”
“Had.” She nods her head.
“Look, all I want is to get away from everyone who knows what I am.”
“And what are you, Raven?”
“I’m the daughter of a whore, dirty by default. Guilty by association.”
“And you always will be. Leaving, disappearing when you turn eighteen and never looking back, won’t change that.” She stands.