Whereas for me, I wanted to puke.
Every single time.
The little dude was three months old, surely my gag reflex should be over it by now?
“You overthink things, mate,” Sabina whispered into my mind. “You’re no better nor any worse than Eli or Ethan, or even me. You think when Knight pukes on me, I dance with glee? Of course not. I think you just need to change more diapers. You’d probably get over it faster if you did.”
My lips curved at that. “Immersion therapy, huh? I’m glad you’re not my shrink.”
Her eyes twinkled in the deepening shadows. “I’d make a very fine shrink, I’d have you know.”
“I’m sure you would, but you already see too much into me. I don’t need you psychoanalyzing everything too.”
She snorted, but her hand moved over to me and she reached for my fingers, tangling hers in them as she explained, “Everyone has an aura. It’s tangible to me. I can reach out and feel it.”
“Even mine?”
“Even yours.”
“What color’s mine?”
“Orange.”
My nose crinkled. “That’s a girl’s color.”
“You do know it’s 2020, don’t you? Not 1920?”
“I hate orange.”
“Well, that’s funny because that’s you. Light and loving, charming and irreverent, capable of depth and of being grounded. You’re solid, you have roots, and I see that every time I look at you. That’s your energy. That’s you.”
“And what you say is black is what Cyrilo and your energy is?”
“Exactly. But all around that base color, there’s a rainbow, I guess. Sometimes, one color is darker than another, and that’s what I use to judge someone.”
“What’s the predominant color around me now?”
“Dark blue. You’re concerned about me, but calm. Nothing I’m saying is angering you, you’re just trying to figure out what I’m talking about.”
I thought about that, but had to reason she wasn’t wrong. “That’s pretty much how I feel. I just want to help you understand so that you feel better.”
Her smile warmed my heart. “That’s what makes you such a good dad, Austin. You might not be great at some things, but hey, Knight has three fathers, and each one of you is good at something in particular. We all need someone we can confide in without fear of judgment… Don’t you think that’s important?”
Mouth working, I rasped, “I do think it’s important.”
“Good. You should. Especially when it’s coming from someone like me, who never had anyone like that growing up. Lara would have listened without judgment, but she’s a lot younger than me. She couldn’t understand half of what was going through my mind.” She bit her lip. “So, I’ll keep telling you this until you realize I speak the truth. You’re no better and no worse than Ethan or Eli. You’re just you. They’re not saints. Knight doesn’t want you to be a saint either. He just wants Daddy Austin. Nothing more, nothing less. He’ll come to you all for different things, and he’ll figure out what each of you can give him. He’s a lucky boy, because none of us were so lucky.”
“I think Eli was,” I said, after a little while of processing her words. “Before we came along. I think he’s probably the only one of us who knows what it’s like to have a proper family.”
“That’s sad, isn’t it?” she whispered.
“Yes. It is.” I shot her a look. “But we can make things better for Knight.”
“We can. We will.” She tightened her fingers around mine, and I smiled at her, truly believing that for the first time, we could make things right.
“What you were saying, before, about your mom…about what your father did to her, what he made her do… Would she have loved him so much if he forced her to pay off his debts?”
“I’ll never understand my parents’ relationship. I just know that something about Lara is different. Different in a way I can’t explain. And what she did tonight, that was impossible.”
“The way she shifted, sure was.” We’d already dissected the night’s events after Choi had left, and none of us could even get our heads around what Lara had done.
Borrowing another’s power? Leaning on another shifter’s wolf to transform?
Crazy.
But we’d seen Lara with our own eyes. Had watched her shift. She was like Sabina, but not. The eyes were different, the body was too—Lara was smaller. Daintier. She also gave off more of a beta vibe than Sabina, who was pure omega.
Again, they were similar but not.
A shared energy, but not.
She sighed, drawing me back into our conversation before she muttered, “I’ll talk with her tomorrow about it. We need to discuss what we’re going to do anyway. Choi and her… Who’d have thought it?”
“You have to love the Mother’s surprises, don’t you?” I whispered softly. “One minute, you’re about to be eaten alive by a hyena, and the next, you’re mated to an alpha wolf a pack across from your sister’s.”
She snorted. “That’s one way of figuring it, yeah.”
Eli
The following morning
“You know why I’m here.”
I did. But I had to see for myself.
Lifting an arm to the door, I leaned into it and remarked, “I thought I told you last night that if you were to enter my territory, you were to ask first.”
“You did, but I came alone, and I came to you first.”
Like that was an excuse.
I snorted. “If Lara was in another house, I’m sure you’d have still come straight to me.”
He shrugged. “I would have, actually.”
“A man of honor?” I scoffed.
“Yes. I was raised a certain way, with certain codes of conduct.” He straightened his shoulders, but his lack of posturing interested me.
I’d come around betas with more presence than Todd Choi, but there was definitely something about him that caught my wolf’s attention.
I figured Choi and I both knew I could kill him in a challenge, but life wasn’t a challenge. Life was about politics. About getting along. Muddling down the same path together, trying to live our lives with decency and respect, and ensuring that we safeguarded our mutual packs for another generation.
And that wasn’t to say he wasn’t strong in his own way, because he was.
I’d admit to being intrigued. His lack of brutishness was a definite check in the pro column, but it made me wonder how exactly this situation had come to pass.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I remarked, “Kingsley Rainford was an evil SOB. He was mean, cruel, and I’m pretty sure he was on some kind of steroids.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.”
I nodded. “I understand why you challenged him—”
“You just don’t know how I survived?” Choi asked calmly.
In fact, everything about Choi was calm. In a way I wasn’t used to.
By nature, alphas were aggressive and quick to temper. It was only after years of forcing my wolf into submission, in caging it, in rarely letting the creature out, that I wasn’t the same way.