“She controlled the numbers—”
And I understood.
“To the point of extinction?”
The wind whispered around my hair, making it twist and writhe like it had a life of its own. “Indeed, child. Indeed. The second the child is born from your womb, you and your mates will be the pack’s future.”
I scowled. “What does that mean? I can’t have children—” My mouth worked. “I was in an accident.”
Heat surged inside me out of nowhere. It burned in my veins, but it centered itself in my belly. The energy was incredible as it rattled around inside me. Explosive and excruciating. I screamed with the agony of it, and my body felt like I was torn in two as I was ripped apart and knitted together again.
The second it was over, I dropped to my knees, panting as I tried to catch my breath.
“The Mother can fix all ails, child, even the one she herself created long ago.
“Your child is not the means with which the Mother will bring change, for no one child can bear such a divine burden, but they will be the catalyst.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“No.”
And that was all the answer I received because, just as swiftly as I’d been dragged into this tornado, I was wrenched from it.
In seconds, my men were around me, and I didn’t blame them. As far as they knew, I’d been standing at their sides, and now I was on my knees, panting like I’d been running for my life.
The pain had gone, the heat had dispersed like it had never existed, and my body was filled with an energy that was unlike anything I’d experienced before.
When they were at my sides, I rasped, “I’m ready to claim you, but I won’t do it in front of the pack.”
My voice, even though I whispered the words softly, roared through the circle caught on the wind, and dropped into every pack member’s ear.
They grumbled at first, but then they sensed my resolve, and maybe something else, maybe something from the totem, from Lidai, as they started to shuffle away, not even waiting on my edict to be confirmed by Eli.
I didn’t have to move from my position to know they’d gone.
I didn’t need to shift around and turn to look at the circle to know we were alone.
I felt it.
Felt their absence, and also felt the way they moved away from the totem.
Maybe they’d watch, maybe they could still see, but I had faith in my powers that they wouldn’t do that.
For whatever reason, I’d been able to bend them to my will, and I didn’t want this incredibly private moment to be shared with anyone.
Even men and women who were, technically, my people.
A hand slipped over my shoulders and down to the bottom of my back. “Are you well?”
Austin.
I closed my eyes, bit my lip, and whispered, “The totem spoke to me.”
Eli’s surprise was clear. “Already?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t that the stick of wood had spoken to me that surprised him, I noted. It was the fact that I’d been spoken to ahead of time.
“When should I have had a conversation with the spirit?”
Because, apparently, that was a pretty normal question to ask in this situation.
Although…
Wasn’t this nicer?
All my life, I’d prayed to Kali Sara, who, in my culture, was the conduit to God himself. I’d never heard her voice, never heard God’s.
But a week in this world and all of a sudden, I was chitchatting with a spirit.
That was pretty damn cool if you asked me.
“Normally, after you’ve been claimed and are stronger, more ready to deal with the power of the spirit as she comes into you.”
Ethan told me that, and he was crouched at my side, so close I could scent him. So close that I could feel his heat.
“You knew Brandon wouldn’t stop fighting until he almost got himself killed, didn’t you?” I asked Eli softly.
“Yes. In his position, I’d have done the same. I spared his pride.”
“And made sure his child has a father tonight.” I hummed, then shot a smile at Ethan. “And you gave him the least painful way to beat him. I’m proud of you both.”
“What about me?”
“You didn’t do anything,” I teased, grinning at him, finally able to rock back onto my knees so I could stare up at him and see he was pouting.
It suited him.
My lips twitched wider, and the sight had his eyes sparkling at me.
Goodness, he was handsome. They all were. And now I saw the link between them, the familial tie. I supposed it was creepy, but I’d let myself be caught up in the creepy if it meant getting to sample these luscious men. They were better than three scoops of pistachio ice cream in the heat of a summer’s day, that was how delicious they were.
And now was our time.
I moved my gaze from Austin, drifting it to Ethan, and then to Eli. They were all watching me, their focus purely on me.
I knew I’d had people’s attention in the past, but never with this depth of intent.
It was like I was all they saw, and I understood that, because they were all I saw too.
Around me, above me, below me, it was a blur. They were the only things that came into sharp focus, and I saw them with such an excruciating amount of detail that it was almost painful to behold.
“What did she say to you?” Ethan rasped.
“Am I supposed to tell you?”
Eli shrugged. “You don’t have to.”
I bit my lip. “She said that the wolves’ population was too small to sustain themselves.”
Eli’s eyes widened at that. “She said that to you?”
Before I could ask him what was wrong, he shuffled over to the same step I’d lost Ethan on, and when he was there, his hand on the totem, my heart did that weird thing again.
I felt like I was in the last phases of dying by drowning.
I gulped, trying to regulate my air, but the act had my eyes shuttering to a close, and when I did? I saw that the green and orange were bouncing around in my soul, the orange hounding the green like he was teasing him—seemed fitting for Austin to haunt Ethan—but the maroon had disappeared.
Eli.
Because he was on the totem.
Just like Ethan had disappeared when he was on there.
“Why do I feel like I lose you when you go on there?” I murmured, raising a hand to my chest in a stupid effort to calm myself.
“You do?” Austin queried, his brows high, as he turned back to Eli. “You can’t sense him?”
I shook my head. “No.” I frowned at my mate, and asked, “The spirit said she only talks to people twice in their lives.”
“Apart from the alpha. She can convene with him whenever he wishes.”
“Why?”
“Because he leads from her will.”
My brow furrowed. “You mean, he does as she asks? She makes the law?”
“Exactly. He just enforces it, and we, in turn, spread that law to the pack.”
“Does every pack have a totem?”
“Yes. But this is one of the oldest and one of the largest in the world.” Ethan peered up at it, and when his head rocked all the way back, I understood, because that was how tall it was.
It felt like it was never-ending.