“They’re not happening at all.”
Truth. With the rebuilding, too many tentative allies had claimed they were busy and would reconvene in the spring to discuss the new terms.
“You wouldn’t need to be gone for months. Just visits here and there. Casual.”
“Casual, but make the kingdoms and territories realize that if they push too far or enter into human lands, we’ll obliterate them?”
I huffed a laugh. “Something like that. Az has lists of the kingdoms most likely to cross the line.”
“If I’m flitting about the continent, who will deal with the Court of Nightmares?”
“I will.”
Her brown eyes narrowed. “You’re not doing this because you think I can’t handle Keir, are you?”
Careful, careful territory. “No,” I said, and wasn’t lying. “I think you can. I know you can. But your talents are better wielded elsewhere for now. Keir wants to build ties to the Autumn Court—let him. Whatever he and Eris are scheming up, they know we’re watching, and know how stupid it would be for either of them to push us. One word to Beron, and Eris’s head will roll.”
Tempting. So damn tempting to tell the High Lord of Autumn that his eldest son coveted his throne—and was willing to take it by force. But I’d made a bargain with Eris, too. Perhaps a fool’s bargain, but only time would tell in that regard.
Mor fiddled with her scarf. “I’m not afraid of them.”
“I know you’re not.”
“I just—being near them, together …” She shoved her hands into her pockets. “It’s probably what it feels like for you to be around Tamlin.”
“If it’s any consolation, cousin, I behaved rather poorly the other day.”
“Is he dead?”
“No.”
“Then I’d say you controlled yourself admirably.”
I laughed. “Bloodthirsty of you, Mor.”
She shrugged, again watching the river. “He deserves it.”
He did indeed.
She glanced sidelong at me. “When would I need to leave?”
“Not for another few weeks, maybe a month.”
She nodded, and fell quiet. I debated asking her if she wished to know where Azriel and I thought she might go first, but her silence said enough. She’d go anywhere.
Too long. She’d been cooped up within the borders of this court for too long. The war barely counted. And it wouldn’t happen in a month, or perhaps a few years, but I could see it: the invisible noose tightening around her neck with every day spent here.
“Take a few days to think about it,” I offered.
She whipped her head toward me, golden hair catching in the light. “You said you needed me. It didn’t seem like there was much room for choice.”
“You always have a choice. If you don’t want to go, then it’s fine.”
“And who would do it instead? Amren?” A knowing look.
I laughed again. “Certainly not Amren. Not if we want peace.” I added, “Just—do me a favor and take some time to think about it before you say yes. Consider it an offer, not an order.”
She fell silent once more. Together, we watched the ice floes drift down the Sidra, toward the distant, wild sea. “Does he win if I go?” A quiet, tentative question.
“You have to decide that for yourself.”
Mor turned toward the ruined house and grounds behind us. Staring not at them, I realized, but eastward.
Toward the continent and the lands within. As if wondering what might be waiting there.
CHAPTER
15
Feyre
I had yet to find or even come up with a vague idea for what to give Rhysand for Solstice.
Mercifully, Elain quietly approached me at breakfast, Cassian still passed out on the couch in the sitting room across the foyer and no sign of Azriel where he’d fallen asleep on the couch across from him, both too lazy—and perhaps a little drunk, after all the wine we’d had last night—to make the trek up to the tiny spare bedroom they’d be sharing during Solstice. Mor had taken my old bedroom, not minding the clutter I’d added, and Amren had gone back to her own apartment when we’d finally drifted to sleep in the early hours of the morning. Both my mate and Mor were still sleeping, and I’d been content to let them continue doing so. They’d earned that rest. We all had.
But Elain, it seemed, was as sleepless as me, especially after my stinging talk with Nesta that even the wine I’d returned home to drink couldn’t dull, and she wanted to see if I was game for a walk about the city, providing me with the perfect excuse to head out for more shopping.
Decadent—it felt decadent, and selfish, to shop, even if it was for people I loved. There were so many in this city and beyond it who had next to nothing, and every additional, unnecessary moment I spent peering into window displays and running my fingers over various goods grated against my nerves.
“I know it’s not easy for you,” Elain observed as we drifted through a weaver’s shop, admiring the fine tapestries, rugs, and blankets she’d crafted into images of various Night Court scenes: Velaris under the glow of Starfall; the rocky, untamed shores of the northern isles; the stelae of the temples of Cesere; the insignia of this court, the three stars crowning a mountain peak.
I turned from a wall covering depicting that very image. “What’s not easy?”
We kept our voices to a near-murmur in the quiet, warm space, more out of respect to the other browsers admiring the work.
Elain’s brown eyes roved over the Night Court insignia. “Buying things without a dire need to do so.”
In the back of the vaulted, wood-paneled shop, a loom thrummed and clicked as the dark-haired artist who made the pieces continued her work, pausing only to answer questions from customers.
So different. This space was so different from the cottage of horrors that had belonged to the Weaver in the Wood. To Stryga.
“We have everything we need,” I admitted to Elain. “Buying presents feels excessive.”
“It’s their tradition, though,” Elain countered, her face still flushed with the cold. “One that they fought and died to protect in the war. Perhaps that’s the better way to think of it, rather than feeling guilty. To remember that this day means something to them. All of them, regardless of who has more, who has less, and in celebrating the traditions, even through the presents, we honor those who fought for its very existence, for the peace this city now has.”
For a moment, I just stared at my sister, the wisdom she’d spoken. Not a whisper of those oracular abilities. Just clear eyes and an open expression. “You’re right,” I said, taking in the insignia rising before me.
The tapestry had been woven from fabric so black it seemed to devour the light, so black it almost strained the eye. The insignia, however, had been rendered in silver thread—no, not silver. A sort of iridescent thread that shifted with sparks of color. Like woven starlight.
“You’re thinking of getting it?” Elain asked. She hadn’t bought anything in the hour we’d already been out, but she’d stopped often enough to contemplate. A gift for Nesta, she’d said. She was looking for a gift for our sister, regardless of whether Nesta deigned to join us tomorrow.