Protect, protect, protect—I could see the word in his eyes, feel it in every thrust he made into my body that night. I had been taken from him once in the most permanent of ways, but never again.
The sentries returned in full force the next morning.
CHAPTER
12
During that first week back, I wasn’t allowed out of sight of the house.
Some nameless threat had broken onto the lands, and Tamlin and Lucien were called away to deal with it. I asked my friend to tell me what it was, yet … Lucien had that look he always did when he wanted to, but his loyalty to Tamlin got in the way. So I didn’t ask again.
While they were gone, Ianthe returned—to keep me company, protect me, I don’t know.
She was the only one allowed in. The semi-permanent gaggle of Spring Court lords and ladies at the manor had been dismissed, along with their personal servants. I was grateful for it, that I no longer would run into them while walking the halls of the manor, or the gardens, and have to dredge up a memory of their names, personal histories, no longer have to endure them trying not to stare at the tattoo, but … I knew Tamlin had liked having them around. Knew some of them were indeed old friends, knew he liked the manor being full of sound and laughter and chatter. Yet I’d found they all talked to each other like they were sparring partners. Pretty words masking sharp-edged insults.
I was glad for the silence—even as it became a weight on me, even as it filled my head until there was nothing inside of it beyond … emptiness.
Eternity. Was this to be my eternity?
I was burning through books every day—stories about people and places I’d never heard of. They were perhaps the only thing that kept me from teetering into utter despair.
Tamlin returned eight days later, brushing a kiss over my brow and looking me over, and then headed into the study. Where Ianthe had news for him.
That I was also not to hear.
Alone in the hall, watching as the hooded priestess led him toward the double doors at its other end, a glimmer of red—
My body tensed, instinct roaring through me as I whirled—
Not Amarantha.
Lucien.
The red hair was his, not hers. I was here, not in that dungeon—
My friend’s eyes—both metal and flesh—were fixed on my hands.
Where my nails were growing, curving. Not into talons of shadow, but claws that had shredded through my undergarments time and again—
Stop stop stop stop stop—
It did.
Like blowing out a candle, the claws vanished into a wisp of shadow.
Lucien’s gaze slid to Tamlin and Ianthe, unaware of what had happened, and then he silently inclined his head, motioning for me to follow.
We took the sweeping stairs to the second level, the halls deserted. I didn’t look at the paintings flanking either side. Didn’t look beyond the towering windows to the bright gardens.
We passed my bedroom door, passed his own—until we entered a small study on the second level, mostly left unused.
He shut the door after I’d entered the room, and leaned against the wood panel.
“How long have the claws been appearing?” he said softly.
“That was the first time.” My voice rang hollow and dull in my ears.
Lucien surveyed me—the vibrant fuchsia gown Ianthe had selected that morning, the face I didn’t bother to set into a pleasant expression …
“There’s only so much I can do,” he said hoarsely. “But I’ll ask him tonight. About the training. The powers will manifest whether we train you or not, no matter who is around. I’ll ask him tonight,” he repeated.
I already knew what the answer would be, though.
Lucien didn’t stop me as I opened the door he’d been leaning against and left without another word. I slept until dinner, roused myself enough to eat—and when I went downstairs, the raised voices of Tamlin, Lucien, and Ianthe sent me right back to the steps.
They will hunt her, and kill her, Ianthe had hissed at Lucien.
Lucien had growled back, They’ll do it anyway, so what’s the difference?
The difference, Ianthe had seethed, lies in us having the advantage of this knowledge—it won’t be Feyre alone who is targeted for the gifts stolen from those High Lords. Your children, she then said to Tamlin, will also have such power. Other High Lords will know that. And if they do not kill Feyre outright, then they might realize what they stand to gain if gifted with offspring from her, too.
My stomach had turned over at the implication. That I might be stolen—and kept—for … breeding. Surely … surely no High Lord would go so far.
If they were to do that, Lucien had countered, none of the other High Lords would stand with them. They would face the wrath of six courts bearing down on them. No one is that stupid.
Rhysand is that stupid, Ianthe had spat. And with that power of his, he could potentially withstand it. Imagine, she said, voice softening as she had no doubt turned to Tamlin, a day might come when he does not return her. You hear the poisoned lies he whispers in her ear. There are other ways around it, she had added with such quiet venom. We might not be able to deal with him, but there are some friends that I made across the sea …
We are not assassins, Lucien had cut in. Rhys is what he is, but who would take his place—
My blood went cold, and I could have sworn ice frosted my fingertips.
Lucien had gone on, his tone pleading, Tamlin. Tam. Just let her train, let her master this—if the other High Lords do come for her, let her stand a chance …
Silence fell as they let Tamlin consider.
My feet began moving the moment I heard the first word out of his mouth, barely more than a growl. No.
With each step up the stairs, I heard the rest.
We give them no reason to suspect she might have any abilities, which training will surely do. Don’t give me that look, Lucien.
Silence again.
Then a vicious snarl, and a shudder of magic rocked the house.
Tamlin’s voice had been low, deadly. Do not push me on this.
I didn’t want to know what was happening in that room, what he’d done to Lucien, what Lucien had even looked like to cause that pulse of power.
I locked the door to my bedroom and did not bother to eat dinner at all.
Tamlin didn’t seek me out that night. I wondered if he, Ianthe, and Lucien were still debating my future and the threats against me.
There were sentries outside of my bedroom the following afternoon—when I finally dragged myself from bed.
According to them, Tamlin and Lucien were already holed up in his study. Without Tamlin’s courtiers poking around, the manor was again silent as I, without anything else to do, headed to walk the garden paths I’d followed so many times I was surprised the pale dirt wasn’t permanently etched with my footprints.
Only my steps sounded in the shining halls as I passed guard after guard, armed to the teeth and trying their best not to gawk at me. Not one spoke to me. Even the servants had taken to keeping to their quarters unless absolutely necessary.
Maybe I’d become too slothful; maybe my lazing about made me more prone to these outbursts. Anyone might have seen me yesterday.
And though we’d never spoken of it … Ianthe knew. About the powers. How long had she been aware? The thought of Tamlin telling her …