I hesitated. “I’d prefer if this could stay between us for a while.” Romero slanted me a conflicted look, but then he nodded. I knew he didn’t like keeping things from Lily, but too much had happened in the last few days, and I needed time to figure out things for myself before I involved more people.
Romero waited in the waiting room as I followed Dr. Brightley into the treatment room. She confirmed my pregnancy and told me I was six weeks along. When I emerged afterward and Romero led me into the elevator, I missed Luca so much, I couldn’t hold back tears. He should have been there with me, should have shared this joyful moment with me.
Romero touched my shoulder but I leaned against him, seeking comfort, and after a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me. “Aria, Luca will come back to you.”
I wanted to believe him, wanted nothing more. Nodding, I pulled back and wiped my eyes, embarrassed about my outburst. Even if Luca’s absence broke my heart, I needed to be strong for our baby.
I was nervous. This was the first time I’d see Luca in three weeks. We hadn’t talked or messaged. I had sent him a couple of messages in the beginning but then given up when he ignored them. If he needed space, I’d give it to him even if it killed me.
“We should celebrate without the men,” Gianna muttered. “They’re only going to ruin everything.” She meant Luca, and I worried she was right. How could this Christmas be anything but a huge mess with the way things were?
I stepped out of the shower and had to grip the marble counter as a wave of dizziness hit me. I was nine weeks along and didn’t have a bump yet, but the pregnancy ruled my life anyway. I’d lost over ten pounds in the last three weeks because I couldn’t keep any food down. Dr. Brightley wasn’t concerned yet since the baby was developing as it should. I put on my underwear and stepped into the bedroom. Would Luca share a bed with me tonight?
“Fuck, Aria,” Gianna said, pursing her lips as she watched me. “You have lost so much weight.”
“You’re exaggerating,” I said lightly. I grabbed the cream-colored wool dress and pulled it on. It used to hug my curves but now it was loose.
Gianna raised her eyebrows. “That doesn’t look like exaggerating to me.”
“It’s nothing,” I said firmly.
Gianna stepped close. “You are so fucking pale. And those shadows under your eyes.” She shook her head. “You know what. We’ll only put on a bare minimum of makeup. Let him see what he does to you.”
I was too tired to protest and let her apply a hint of foundation and mascara.
“I’m going to kill him if he treats you like shit. I swear. I’m going to stick one of Matteo’s knives into his fucking cruel heart.”
“Gianna,” I said in warning. “I am the one who went behind his back.”
“You went to visit our little brother. Luca cheated on you with Grace only because you didn’t want to put out, and he didn’t tell you when Matteo asked our father for permission to marry me. And I bet he’s lied to you about more things we don’t know about, but only because you don’t obey him like a well-behaved dog, he feels betrayed. Stupid pride of Made Men.”
I wished it were only pride holding Luca back, but I knew it was more—it was darker and more powerful.
Lily knocked and poked her head in. “Dinner is done. Marianna says we can sit down.”
“Is he here?” I asked, hating how my voice broke.
Lily’s expression softened. “Yes, he and Matteo arrived fifteen minutes ago. They are downstairs with Romero.”
Gianna checked her reflection in my mirror. She, too, had barely seen Matteo because she preferred to stay with me, still mad at him, while he was with Luca in New York.
I straightened, hoping I could hold it together. My pregnancy was turning me into an emotional mess.
Gianna squeezed my hand and didn’t let go. “Come on, Aria. You have us. Nothing will ever change that. They have their Famiglia and their blood oath, but we are sisters, we are blood, and we will be at your side till the end of all days.”
Lily took my other hand with a resolute smile. “If you can’t stand his presence, then we’ll leave. We can have dinner in the kitchen. Just the three of us.”
I fought tears.
“Don’t cry,” Gianna ordered. “He’ll think it’s because of him. Don’t give him that power.”
But he had that power over my heart, and there was nothing I could do about it. I resisted the urge to touch my belly, proof of a love lost.
I swallowed, and nodded. “Let’s go.”
We stepped out of the room, into the corridor and toward the staircase. Then I heard his deep voice, and only my sisters’ hold kept me moving. Gianna’s grip on my hand became crushing as we descended the staircase, closer to his voice. As one we stepped into the dining room and my eyes zeroed in on Luca, standing tall next to Matteo and Romero, looking calm. No sign that the last three weeks had affected him. Could he move on like that? Could he switch off his love as easily as that?
Lily squeezed my hand and Gianna stiffened at my side. “Fuck him, Aria. Fuck them all,” she whispered.
And I was determined to follow her advice—but then Luca turned his head and looked straight at me, and my world crumpled. There had been brief moments of hope in these weeks of despair, either because I’d tried to talk myself into believing I could live without Luca, or because I managed to convince myself he would come around.
Now as his hard gray eyes regarded me as they did anyone else, with cold scrutiny and not a hint of warmth, both hopes turned to dust.
LUCA
“You won’t ruin this Christmas for all of us, will you?” Matteo asked. As if his relationship with Gianna had been going well these last few weeks. He’d been my shadow in New York and Gianna had refused to come with him. They were barely civil around each other.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry. Aria is my wife on paper, but that’s all.” I had closed off my fucking emotions in the last three weeks, and I had absolutely no intention of changing that. I had more important things to worry about—like bringing down Dante and the Outfit with him. It wasn’t something I could manage in a few weeks or months, and certainly not as long as my actions were still fueled by fury. I needed to make a plan that would guarantee our success once and for all.
Movement near the door attracted my attention and I turned my head toward it, and a sledgehammer of emotions smashed into me.
Aria, all slender grace and long blonde hair, stood between her sisters. My eyes lingered on the dark shadows under her eyes, on the way her cheekbones had sharpened, on the way her dress hung from her body. Guilt crashed down on me but I squashed it. I had no reason to be guilty. She was the one who had betrayed me.
“Only on paper, that’s all, my ass,” Matteo muttered.
I tore my gaze away from Aria, steeling myself. I went over to the dining room table and took my usual seat. Matteo took his seat across from me, regarding me like I was about to lose my shit. If he didn’t stop the constant hovering soon, I would lose my shit on him.
After a moment of hesitation, Aria sank down beside me, and her sweet flowery scent flooded my nose.