Her expression became stern when she spotted me in the doorway. “Go to bed, Cassio. I mean it. I can handle this.”
I retreated slowly and went to bed. It didn’t take long before I fell asleep. I only woke briefly when Giulia crept back into bed later, but I wasn’t sure what time it was. She lay down so close to me that I could feel her warmth, but I didn’t mind. I was already drifting off again when her fingertips lightly brushed my hand.
Simona had woken one more time, but Giulia insisted I stay in bed as she took care of it.
Maybe that was why I felt more relaxed this morning than I’d felt in a long time. Despite her lack of sleep, Giulia got up once I was done in the bathroom and slipped in herself.
I went into Daniele’s room. He was awake, as usual at this time, already bent over his tablet. In the beginning I’d hide it from him, but when he played with that thing, it was the only time he looked even remotely happy, so I always gave it back to him. He didn’t look up when I entered, but his little shoulders hunched. I got down on my haunches beside his bed to be eye level with him. Still nothing.
“Daniele, come on. Put that aside.” No reaction. I took it away, and he started screaming, but I put it up on a shelf. I picked him up despite his struggling. His refusal to be close to me cut worse than those whips had many years ago.
I swallowed and put him down on the changing table. It was our ritual that I woke him. It had been like this since he was very small. He always loved our morning time… not anymore.
His teary eyes slanted to something behind me. I turned, finding Giulia in the doorway, her eyes full of emotion and the dog on her arm.
She came inside. “Loulou heard you crying and came up to check on you.”
Daniele quieted, regarding the dog with big eyes.
Giulia stopped beside the changing table so the dog could look down at Daniele and Daniele up at it. I undressed him and for once he didn’t fight. His wide eyes were fixated on the dog as I changed his diaper. Giulia took clothes out of the wardrobe and put them down beside me. Jeans, socks that looked like sneakers, and a sweater with the words “Big brother.”
“You get to wear your big brother shirt today,” she said, grinning.
Daniele’s mouth trembled into a small smile, and I had to look away for a moment. Clearing my throat, I said, “You are a good big brother. Simona needs you at her side.”
Daniele nodded slowly and let me put the clothes on. He could dress himself, more or less, but as with so many other things, he refused to do it since his mother’s death. I lifted him off the table but didn’t put him down so he could walk as I usually would have done. I pressed him to my body. His eyes remained on Loulou, but at least he didn’t try to squirm away from me.
“Let’s check on Simona,” I said.
We headed into Simona’s room together, and Giulia set Loulou down so she could pick up Simona. The dog trotted out of the room to do whatever it had in mind, probably pee on the expensive rugs. The moment it was out of sight, Daniele became restless. I lowered him to the floor before he could start to cry. He immediately walked away, probably to go in search of his tablet. Giulia held Simona but looked at me. The compassion in her expression didn’t infuriate me this morning. It only made me feel wistful. With Simona on her arm, she came over to me and touched my chest. “He’ll come around. Give it time. It takes time to heal.”
Would she be as optimistic if she knew what had happened?
I glanced down at my watch. “I need to go now.” Then, and I wasn’t sure why I cupped her cheek and pressed a light kiss to her mouth. “I appreciate your efforts.”
Surprise crossed her face. The same surprise I felt since minute one of our marriage. She wasn’t anything like I expected. She could have given in to teenage hysterics, but instead she tried to handle the tasks of her new life.
She handled them in a kind and lovely way. She seemed too good to be true.
I pulled back and went downstairs. Elia waited for me in front of my car to get further instructions. Remembering last night and this morning, a hint of reluctance filled me when I thought about my arrangement with Elia, but it wasn’t enough to make me abandon the matter. Giulia had done nothing to deserve this, but I needed certainty before her loveliness had me wrapped around her finger and made me blind to a hurtful truth.
My kids wouldn’t survive a repeat performance of their mother’s demise.
My chest ached thinking of Cassio’s morning encounter with Daniele. I could tell that Cassio hurt because of his son’s reaction to him. I needed to help somehow, but first I needed to figure out why Daniele acted the way he did. For some reason, I couldn’t imagine that Cassio had hurt his son in any way. Cassio was certainly capable of the most depraved acts imaginable. The rumors of his business practices had reached even my ears in Baltimore, but the way he looked at his children, it was clear he loved them. No, it was something else between them. I had a feeling it had something to do with Gaia, which was a problem because Cassio refused to talk about her. Daniele didn’t speak at all, and I wasn’t sure if it was wise to mention his mother around him. I made my way into the kitchen with Simona in my arms and Daniele tiptoeing after me. His face was tear-stained because he couldn’t find his tablet. I’d seen it up on the shelf in his room, but decided not to give it to him. He needed to learn to be without that thing. It wasn’t healthy how fixated he was on technology.
Sybil was already making waffles. The kitchen smelled of vanilla and warm dough.
Elia and Domenico weren’t there yet, but I knew they were somewhere in the house or Cassio wouldn’t have left. Loulou slipped under the table, probably hoping for a repeat performance, but sweets definitely weren’t good for a dog. I approached Sybil as Daniele knelt in front of the table to watch Loulou. “Let her come to you, Daniele. She’s shy. Eventually, she’ll come. Give her time, okay?”
He nodded absentmindedly, but didn’t move otherwise.
“Can you cook some bacon as well?”
“For the dog?” Sybil guessed.
“I don’t want to force him to eat. Not when he doesn’t trust me yet. This is the only way he’ll have breakfast.”
She nodded. She still didn’t look as if she approved, but she took bacon from the fridge.
“Thank you.”
Elia soon joined us, but Domenico stayed away. To my surprise, he sat down beside me. Like yesterday, his smile was quick, his eye contact a bit too intimate, and his arm brushed mine twice “by accident.”
I wasn’t the only one who noticed because Sybil sent him a sharp look.
I ignored it, unsure what else to do. My plan to get Daniele to eat worked like it had yesterday. Loulou got a tiny piece of bacon for every bite of waffle and banana that Daniele ate. It was a win-win situation as far as I was concerned, and Loulou definitely agreed.
“I thought we could all go for a walk together, so Loulou gets to see something new?” I said to Daniele. His nod was quick and his obvious excitement kindled my own.
“That sounds good. The weather is nice and it’s not too cold. I know a nice park not too far away,” Elia said.
“Great.” I got up. “Why don’t you go ahead and prepare everything while I have a word with Sybil.”