Zen and the Art of Vampires

I stared in amazement at the retreating figure of Kristoff, guilt rising with every second.

"Alec, I'm so sorry," I said miserably, slumping down and wishing I could just melt into the floor.

He frowned. "Sorry about what?"

"About everything." I waved a hand toward the door through which Kristoff had just made his stormy exit. "Coming between you two. Sleeping with him. Ruining our relationship."

To my complete and utter stupefaction, he laughed, taking my hand again. "Sweet, adorable Pia - do you think I hold you responsible for Kristoff forcing himself on you?"

I goggled. I truly goggled at him, and I don't believe I've outright goggled at anyone before.

"I've known Kristoff for at least three hundred years. We've worked together for the council, you see, so I know well what sort of mesmerizing power he holds over women." He glanced at his watch and pulled out a cell phone. "Stay here. I'll be back in a minute."

I continued to be stupefied, and goggled a bit more as he strode off, and ducked outside the door.

"I've lost my mind," I told myself, going back over the last couple of minutes, and looking up to ask, "Did he just say he didn't blame me?"

The waitress gave me a bit of an odd look as she deposited our plates. "I don't know. Are you to blame?"

I thought for a moment. "Yes. I wasn't forced, no matter what Alec says."

"Well, then." She nodded as if that settled the matter, and toddled off to deal with other customers.

"My life has become one long confusing situation after another," I told my breakfast.

The door at the front of the pub opened. I glanced up, expecting to see Kristoff, but the two people who entered had me half rising to my feet.

"I'm so hungry I could eat one of those adorable Viking ponies we saw the other day," Magda said, laughing up at Ray. He murmured something and was about to hold out a chair for her when she glanced at the back of the room, freezing momentarily when she saw me. "Oh, dammit, Ray, I left my camera back in my room. I'm so famished I'm going to faint if I don't get some juice or something. Would you mind horribly going back to get it for me?"

Ray must have objected slightly, because Magda stood on her tiptoes and flicked her tongue on the tip of his nose. "It's not the same. I want my camera. You wouldn't want me worrying about it all day, would you?"

I wondered absently what it would be like to flick my tongue over the tip of Kristoff's nose... Alec's nose! I meant Alec's nose!

My inner critic shook her head at the slip.

Ray, putty in Magda's adept hands, hurried off to do her bidding. She waited until the door was fully closed behind him before making a beeline to me.

"There you are! I wondered what happened to you last night. I tried checking on you this morning, but you were gone, which really wasn't a surprise, because there's no way I'd stay in that room if the police could come barging in at any moment. Which evidently they did, since there were a couple of them in there when I looked for you. They were a bit rude about it, actually, and locked my door to the bathroom, so we had to use the one at the end of the hall again. Are you all right? Did you get your things? How did your wedding night go?"

"I'm fine, just a bit confused, but you know, it's becoming a familiar emotion. And yes, I got my things. The rest of the tour isn't going to show up at any moment, are they? If they are, I'd better leave now."

"No, no, eat your breakfast. That waffle looks delicious. I think I'll get one once Ray comes back, which should be in about ten minutes or so. You skipped answering the question about the wedding night," she pointed out helpfully.

I blushed.

"That good, was it? I have to admit, I don't go for the Viking type, myself, but Mattias seemed nice enough."

My blush deepened. I tried to hide it by eating some of the delicious-looking breakfast that sat before me, but I was so filled with guilt, I couldn't swallow a single bite.

"Either you're having two breakfasts, or the new hub is here with you," Magda said, pushing Alec's food slightly to the side so she could lean her elbows on the table. "In the men's room, is he? Don't worry, I won't intrude when he comes back. I know how it is with honey-mooners."

"For heaven's sake, Magda!" I finally snapped. "You know it's not like that!"

She laughed, whomping me on the arm. "Finally got a reaction out of you that wasn't an embarrassed blush. Of course I know it's not like that, but I couldn't resist teasing you. Although..." She eyed me a bit more closely. "You do have that air about you of a woman well satisfied."

My mind drifted to the activities of the last evening and my face reddened even more.

"Ooh, I think I struck a nerve. So it wasn't all sacrifice for a good cause with the manly Viking, eh?"

"I didn't spend the night with Mattias," I muttered, shoving my whipped-cream-drenched waffle around the plate.

"No?" Her eyebrows rose. "Oh, with what's his name... Alec?"

"No. Kristoff."

Her eyebrows rose even higher. "Really, now. And you... ?"

"I didn't mean to," I said hurriedly, desperately wanting a shoulder to cry on, someone who would understand what had happened. Someone who could make sense of it all for me, because clearly I was beyond that. "It just kind of happened."

"Wow," she said softly, watching me with sympathy in her eyes. "And now you feel guilty about it?"

I nodded. "Horribly so. At the time, it just seemed so... right. Kristoff was there, and he... he... oh, it sounds hokey, but I felt like he needed me. Me - not just a woman, but me. And despite everything, I gave in, and now Alec is back and he and Kristoff had a fight about it, and I just don't know what to do. Or think. I'm so confused about everything, Magda. I keep hoping that things will straighten out so I can make sense of them, but they just get more and more complicated."

"Men will do that to you," she said, patting my arm. "They mess with your head."

"No, that's not what I mean. They're not playing mind games with me... at least I don't think they are... It's just... Oh, it's so hard to explain. The reapers tell me the vampires are bad. I know they are - Kristoff killed a man right in front of me, and neither he nor Alec makes any bones about working for some murderous council that sanctions the killing of reapers."

"So that pretty much cinches who killed the other Zorya," she said quietly, still watching me intently.

I rubbed my forehead. I felt a headache coming on. "Not necessarily. They said they didn't. Or at least Kristoff said he didn't, and the damned thing is, I believe him. I believe - oh, hello."

Alec appeared as if by magic, smiling benignly at Magda before turning his attention to me. "I hope I don't interrupt?"

"Not at all. This is my friend Magda. She's on the tour with me."

"Alec Darwin," he said, scooting in on the other side of me.

"I'm sitting in your seat," Magda murmured, about to leave.

"Don't mind me, I'm just here to gaze with admiration upon the fair Pia," he said, shooting me a positively steamy look.

Magda's gaze flickered back and forth between Alec and myself.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. I took a deep breath. "Alec, there's something I think you should know."

"Another confession?" he asked, giving me a quizzical look before glancing toward Magda. "Are you going to tell me that she is your lover, too?"

"No."

Magda stifled a giggle.

I didn't think it was possible for me to blush any harder, but I'll be damned if my cheeks didn't light up even more. Wearily, I held a glass of water to one side of my face in an attempt to cool it down. "She knows about you and Kristoff. About what you are."

"Ah," he said, eyeing her with a little less happiness. "Does she indeed."

"I do," she answered gravely. "I was with Pia for much of last night, you see. Well, not the part she spent with the other... that is, I was with her while she met with the..." Magda floundered a couple of times, stuck in a verbal dead end in her attempt to not broach the touchy subjects of my time spent with Kristoff or the Brotherhood folk. She gave a feeble smile. "Let's just say I was with her. I helped her get her things out of the hotel room. And I know about Anniki."

"Ah," Alec repeated, leaning back. "The Zorya, I presume you mean."

"How did you know she was a Zorya?" I asked slowly, my head starting to pound. It seemed to me as if the room darkened a smidgen. I glanced at the window, but it appeared to be sunny outside, not clouding over as I surmised. "I didn't know who she was when we... when we went back to my hotel room."

"Didn't you?" He frowned, toying with a glass of water. "I thought you said she was."

"I think what Pia's trying to ask and is too nice to do so is whether or not you killed her," Magda said bluntly.

Alec glanced at her in surprise before turning his lovely green eyes on me. "Is that what you think? That I killed the Zorya?"

"You did leave without saying anything to me," I pointed out. "I didn't know what to think when I woke up to find you gone and a dead woman in my bathroom."

"But I left you a note," he said, frowning, his eyes sincere. "I told you I had to leave unexpectedly to handle some business, but that I'd be in contact later in the day. You didn't get that?"

"No," I answered, shaking my head. "A note?"

"Yes. I left it in the bathroom so you'd be sure to see... Ah. I begin to see it. Whoever murdered that Zorya must have taken my note. My sweet, sweet love. What you must have thought of me!" he said, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me up close to him, his lips whispering along my jaw. "I'm surprised you didn't run screaming from me."

"Or at least stick a stake through your heart," Magda said, watching us with interest.

Alec broke off nibbling on my face to grin at her. "Beheading is the preferred method of execution for Dark Ones. Staking is difficult unless you know exactly where the heart is." His gaze returned to me, rueful and contrite.

"Not that I would blame Pia for thinking the worst of me. Forgive me, my love?"

"I... I..." I stammered a little, not knowing what to say. I was relieved at the thought that he hadn't just up and left me without a word, but at the same time, I was incredibly bothered by the idea that either Kristoff had lied to me, or someone else, a stranger, had marched through my room while I was sleeping. "I didn't think the worst, Alec, so there's nothing to forgive. But it does leave the question of who killed Anniki. And why she was killed in my room."

"I was thinking about that," Magda said, absently pulling a strawberry from my plate and eating it. "You said that you'd run into Anniki earlier in the evening, right? She got the stone from you and told you all about Zorya-ing."

"More or less, yes. But the Brotherhood people were here. She knew that. So there's no reason why she should try to seek me out over them."

Alec's gaze narrowed sightlessly on the glass of water. "Not unless she was afraid of seeking help from them."

I stared at him in surprise. "Why would she be afraid of them?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps she had a change of heart about the reapers. Perhaps she learned something about them that made her hesitate committing herself to them. I think, my love, you've had a very narrow escape, and although I am not pleased with Kristoff's high-handed actions in marrying you himself rather than allowing me to do so, it relieves my mind to know that you are safe from the reapers."

Magda and I exchanged glances.

She was about to speak when the door opened and Ray entered. "And there's my cue to make a graceful exit." She pressed my hand quickly. "Call me later, OK?"

"I'll try," I said, giving her a grateful smile. "You're supposed to go to the glacier today, aren't you? Have fun."

"Will do. It was nice meeting you, Alec," she said, standing up.

Alec rose and took her hand, bowing over it. "It is a pleasure to meet a friend of Pia's. We will be moving on to Vienna shortly, but I hope to see you again soon."

Magda sent me a curious glance, but murmured only a polite good-bye before hurrying to intercept Ray before he saw me. She hustled him out of the restaurant without a look back.

"Vienna?" I asked, trying to postpone the discussion that I knew had to be had. "Why are you going to Vienna?"

His eyes were as warm as his smile as he scooted back in, pulling me over so I was smooshed up against him, and brushing a strand of hair back off my forehead. "That's where the council is based. Kristoff told me of your reticence to meet with them, but I fear it will be required. You truly are a most remarkable woman, Pia. You thought I had left you without a word, and not once did you chastise me, as any other woman might. I can't believe my fortune in finding you."

His lips were warm on mine, coaxing me, teasing me into opening up for him. I allowed him to kiss me, my mind divided between acknowledgment of his expertise and the awareness of just how different an experience it was compared to the overwhelming, forceful invasion that was Kristoff's method of kissing. Where the latter was constantly dominating and aggressive, Alec's kisses were sweet little sips. He nibbled my lower lip for a moment before moving a line of kisses along my jaw. "My adorable one. I am so hungry for you. Can you feel it?"

I glanced down at his lap, somewhat startled that he was feeling aroused in such a public place.

His chuckle sounded warm and breathy on my ear, making little shivers of delight ripple down my back. "Actually, I meant literally hungry for you, although I desire you in that way, as well. Will you yield to me, my love? Will you give me what only you can?"

"People can see us," I protested, reluctant to do what he wanted. Why, I had no idea... it just seemed wrong.

"No one will notice," he murmured, pressing a hot kiss to the sensitive spot behind my ear. "Give to me, my love. Let me taste again the nectar that only you can provide."

Why not? my inner critic said with a mental shrug. He knows what happened last night and doesn't blame you. Why not let him go for broke?

Because it's wrong, a tiny little voice answered.

There was that word again - "wrong." It felt wrong, but for the life of me, I couldn't decide why.

"What happens if you're somewhere without people?" I asked, stalling just a little bit. "Somewhere isolated?"

He made a face. "We can survive on the blood of animals if we have to. It is not preferred, although sometimes necessary, such as when a Beloved is separated from her Dark One. But that will not happen with us."

Absently, I fingered my fork, trying to analyze my reluctance.

"Pia, my love, you hesitate. You wound me. Can it be that you prefer Kristoff?" Alec asked, pulling back.

His jade eyes were filled with pain.

"No, of course not." I felt lower than a snake's belly - here was a perfectly nice man, a man who cared about me, one who I knew was trying his best to help me, and I was spurning him for what? Kristoff? Mentally, I shook my head at that. I didn't want Kristoff. I might not be deathly afraid that he would kill me, but there was a darkness in him that boded ill for everyone. It wasn't for Mattias's sake, either, that I was hesitating. So then why was I not at this moment allowing Alec what he wanted?

"It is me, then," Alec said, withdrawing both physically and emotionally. "I have failed to capture your heart as you have mine."

"The situation with Kristoff," I said, using a feeble excuse. "It's - "

"Unimportant. You worry unduly that I blame you, love. I do not. I have known Kristoff for a long time. He has taken many women from me." Alec's lips curled in a wry smile. "And I have repaid the compliment, but you he shall not steal. You are mine... if you wish to be."

"I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm flattered beyond belief, but after last night... well, I think I need to take things a little slower. I like you, Alec. I like you a lot. And if you really want to" - I waved my hands around vaguely - "for lack of a better word, feed off me, then go ahead."

His smile was tinged with regret. "I have rushed you, have I not? For that, I am sorry, and we will, naturally, proceed slower if that is your desire. You must forgive me for being impatient, my love, but when you have lived as long as I have, you have little tolerance for being made to wait."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he silenced me with a swift kiss. "No, you are right. You must have time. And I will be happy to give it to you, but I am very hungry for you, and since you said I may..."

He waited until the waitress, who had been within sight, moved off before returning to the spot behind my ear. "You do not know how much I anticipate this moment."

I clutched the edge of the table, bracing myself as if for an injection, torn between a desire to run away and a guilty sense of obligation.

The pain, when it came, was almost instantly over. Alec jerked back with an astonished look on his face, a smear of blood on his lip, which he quickly wiped off.

"Is something wrong?" I started to ask, but at that exact moment, several things happened in a whirlwind of action.

Two people who had been strolling toward us stopped, one of them pointing and calling out, "Dark One!"

The waitress, hearing that, dropped her tray and snatched up a steak knife, vaulting a table as she lunged toward us.

Alec leaped to his feet and jerked me after him, literally dragging me out from behind the table. A slight shimmer to one side resolved itself into the form of Marta, who clutched at me with intangible hands.

"Pia! You must come! The Ilargi has found us! He's taken Jack the sailor, and now he's trying to get Karl!"