The Last of the Red Hot Vampires

"Right, the first thing we need to do is make a list of people who wanted Hope dead." Sarah sucked thoughtfully at the end of her pen, then quickly wrote down my name at the top of a sheet of paper.

"Hey!" I protested. "Didn't you hear a thing I've said for the last hour? I did not kill Hope, which you of all people should know."

"Of course I know it. But all good detectives make a list of all possible suspects, then eliminate them one by one until only one person remains on the list - the killer. What was the name of that man who tried to seduce you?"

I slumped across the table we had commandeered in the corner of the pub upon returning to town, my forehead in my hands. Theo sat next to me, looking wistfully at someone a few tables away who was sipping a whisky and soda. "No one tried to seduce me except Theo, and I seduced him right back. Oh, wait, you mean Gabriel the cherub?"

"That's the fellow." Sarah added his name to the list, tapped the pen on her lips for a moment while she thought, and added the names of the trial proctors I'd had to date. "Who else have you met?"

"Sarah, you can't list everyone I've run across," I protested.

"Don't be silly; that's how it works. Let's see, so far we have you and Theo, included for thoroughness, a Guardian, three trial proctors, one demon, and the prince of hell. Anyone else?"

I sighed. "There is no cast of characters you can run down, you know."

"Yuh-huh. If you didn't murder Hope, and I agree that's highly unlikely, then someone you've met must have."

The barmaid walked past with a tray holding two glasses of wine and a couple of mixed drinks. Theo's gaze watched the drink tray with an avidity that bespoke a hunger of a different sort than we'd fulfilled before meeting with Sarah.

"This is not one of your books, Sarah. This is real life, my life, and there's no earthly reason to believe that whoever killed Hope is someone I've met."

The pub owner walked behind the bar and set a pint glass beneath a Guinness tap, the thick blackish-brown liquid slowly filling the glass. Theo moaned softly to himself.

"Would you like me to get you a beverage?" I asked him.

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. It took some doing, but he managed to drag his eyes off the pub owner and turn them to me, shaking his head. "Christian said I shouldn't until I'm used to the new diet."

I rubbed the leg that pressed against mine, enjoying the flex of his thigh muscles as much as I knew he was.

"Interesting," Sarah said, watching Theo for a moment before making another note. "Can't drink anything but blood. Very interesting."

"Portia's right," he said, ignoring Sarah's note-taking to frown at the tabletop. "We don't know that the person who killed Hope is someone we've encountered in the last few days. We don't even know when or where or how Hope died. For that matter, we don't know if she's really dead. No one has found her body. What we need is solid information, upon which we can base an investigation."

My heart swelled with delight. I love it when you are logical.

I'm always logical!

Not always, but when you are, it makes my toes curl.

He gave me a mental eye roll that had me giggling to myself.

"I suppose," Sarah admitted, pulling my attention back to the matter at hand.

"I agree, it makes sense. Who can we go to in order to get that info?"

Theo averted his eyes as the barmaid walked past with a large martini. "Most of the people who would have access to that information are in the Court of Divine Blood. But with the ban in place, they are out of reach to us."

"I thought only Portia was banned?" Sarah asked.

"Technically, she was, but I am her champion, and thus represent her. The ban extends to me, as well."

"Assuming Hope was killed outside of the Court, there has to be someone out here who we could ask." I looked at Theo. "This is all new to me, so I'm less than helpful when it comes to naming names. Is there someone outside the Court you can think of who we can talk to?"

His eyes lightened, taking on a wary cast.

"What?" I asked him.

"There is a potential source of information," he said slowly.

"Oh? Who?"

"It's not someone you're going to want to see again."

I thought back over the people I'd met in the last few days, and shook my head. "Oh, no. I will not go to hell and see Bael again."

"Not Bael," Theo said, his fingers stroking mine.

"The demon then, what's his name - Nefere. He's almost as bad as Bael."

Theo shook his head. "Not Nefere."

A cold, sick feel crept out of my belly and slipped into my veins. "Sweet mother of reason, you don't mean...you can't mean...please tell me you don't mean them, Theo."

"I'm sorry, sweetling. The Hashmallim are the only ones who we can approach."

"No."

"They are more or less the security force of the Court, which gives them the power to come and go as they please. All we have to do is convince one to speak with us outside of the Court."

"Absolutely not."

"They seldom come to the mortal world, but if we can - "

"No!"

He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I won't leave you alone with them this time."

"I know you're not, because I'm not going to be anywhere near them."

"The Hashmallim? Those creepy guys that Portia said are made up of silhouettes?" Sarah's eyes widened, a look of delight brightening her face. "Oh, I can't wait to meet them! I have so many questions! Like, why were they chasing us that day we met?"

Theo cleared his throat and studied his hands for a moment. "They weren't actually...er...chasing you."

"They weren't?" I asked.

"Er...no."

"But, you said at the time - "

His hands brushed off my question. "Yes, yes, I said that they were, but I couldn't think of any other way to convince the two of you to come with me."

"So they weren't even there?" I asked, hands on my hips.

"We weren't in any danger?" Sarah asked at the same time.

"They were there. Even unused to the ways of the Court, you two must have felt their arrival. They were following Hope."

"That's right," I said slowly. "She mentioned someone was chasing her. I thought later it was you."

"It was me...but the Hashmallim were also trying to find her."

Sarah clasped her hands together. "What'd she do? Something horrible?"

"It's some minor point of Court politics that she avoided mentioning to the proper authorities. The Hashmallim were sent to interview her regarding it."

"Well, I don't care about that. I just want to talk to one of the big scary guys. When can we?" Sarah asked.

"Never!" I said, squeezing Theo's hand back, and not with reassurance, either.

Sweetling, I wouldn't put you through this unless it was the only way.

Theo, I know you've been around a long time, but you have no idea how horrible those guys are up close. They're indescribably awful! It made me physically ill to be near them!

The smile he gave me was sad. I'm well aware of the Hashmallim, my love. Who do you think was responsible for throwing me out of the Court the only other time I was there?

"You guys are doing that mind-talking thing again, aren't you?" Sarah asked, narrowing her eyes at us.

"I'm simply trying to convince Portia that the Hashmallim are our only hope of getting some answers," Theo said. You do believe me, don't you?

I believe that you believe what you are saying, I answered, well aware I was sounding unreasonably stubborn. The memory of my experience with the Hashmallim was too fresh in my mind, however.

"Don't mind her, she's as stubborn as the day is long," Sarah said, tucking away her notepad. "There's just one thing I'm curious about."

"Just one?" I asked.

Sarah gave me a look that said she didn't appreciate the sarcasm in my voice, turning a sunny smile on Theo when he politely asked what was her question. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but these Hashmallim guys are the same ones that you said were dangerous when we first met, right?"

Theo nodded.

"You said you were saving our lives by getting us out of their way."

"Hashmallim are more or less the police force for the Court of Divine Blood, but their job encompasses more than just policing citizens of the Court. They are also used by the sovereign to exact retribution on mortals for sins committed against members of the Court."

"We didn't do anything to anyone, let alone a Court member," I pointed out. "We were just standing around on the hilltop when Hope appeared, and she left under her own power."

"I didn't know that at the time," Theo said with a slight twist of his lips. "As soon as you said you were mortal, and yet were clearly a virtue, I reckoned something was not right. When I felt the Hashmallim on their way, I knew it wasn't anything good, so I tried to get you away from them."

"That's so romantic," Sarah said, sighing happily.

"It is?"

"Yes, it is. Don't you see? These Hashmallim people are the police in the Court of Divine Blood, and by going against them, he was risking his own reputation, if not life."

I was shaking my head even before she finished. "Theo isn't a member of the Court."

"Not yet. But when he does become one, won't that sort of thing be frowned on?"

We both looked at Theo.

"Assuming the Hashmallim know I helped you escape earlier, and that's a pretty fair assumption given their scope of knowledge, yes, it will be one of the issues we will have to overcome in order to get the exculpation granted," he said calmly. I decided if it wasn't something he was worried over, I didn't need to worry about it yet either.

"All right, then. How do we find the Hashmallim?" Sarah asked him.

"They can be summoned."

"What makes you think that even if you get one to be summoned, he will talk to you?" I asked.

Theo frowned. I wanted badly to forget all the woes of the world and kiss the frown right off his face. "There is no reason for them not to. So long as the questions are phrased properly, we should get the answers we seek."

"Great! Let's get to summoning," Sarah said, grabbing her purse as she rose. "I'll take care of our lunch bill. You guys get your coats."

"I believe she's the only person I've met who is actually looking forward to meeting with the Hashmallim," Theo said thoughtfully, watching Sarah as she toddled over to the pub counter and handed over her credit card.

"She's not normal. She was dropped on her head several times as a baby. It left her mentally deranged. We all just pretend she's sane."

"I heard that!" she shouted, glaring at me from the counter.

"She also has very good hearing," I said, sighing as I gathered up my things.

"It'll be all right, sweet. I'll be with you this time," Theo reminded me.

It took some doing, but Theo's powers of persuasion proved to be too much for the Guardian named Noelle who had previously summoned the ill-fated demon.

"Now what happens?" I asked several hours later, as we sat huddled on a fallen tree trunk that edged one side of an empty gravel parking lot for an abandoned fish factory at the far side of town.

Noelle rubbed out the markings she'd drawn in the gravel and dirt with the toe of her shoe. "Now you wait. The Hashmallim has been summoned - he will show up whenever he wants. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, thank you for your time," Theo said, rising to shake her hand. "Er...you didn't tell me what payment we owe you for your help."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Noelle said, giving us all a bright smile. It was dark in that corner of the parking lot, long flickering shadows stretching across it from the feeble light attached near a corner of the building, but Noelle's down-to-earth appearance and cheerful personality did much to eliminate the serious case of the creeps I'd had ever since I resigned myself to the thought of having to speak with one of the ghostly Hashmallim. "I get a stipend from the Guardian Guild to be used on such cases as I deem needy. You lot look like you could use a bit of good news, so this one will be complimentary."

We all thanked her. Theo escorted her across the parking lot to where her little blue Mini sat.

"You got yourself a winner this time," Sarah said as she watched them walk away. "What does it feel like being a Dark One's Beloved?"

Theo's mind touched mine, warm and reassuring, filled with tender emotions that made my stomach flutter with happiness. "It's...indescribable."

She peered closer at me. "You love him, don't you?"

"Yes." I smiled, unable to keep the happiness from spilling out of me. "More than any other man. We had a less-than-sterling start, but I know now that he's the man I was meant to be with."

"That's so romantic," she said with a sigh. "Does it hurt when he bites you?"

"Just for a second, then it's really...well, to be blunt, it's pretty darn erotic."

"Oh, man." She pursed her lips and looked at Theo as he stood chatting with Noelle. "You have a gorgeous, drop-dead-sexy man who clearly worships the ground you walk on, you're never going to age, never face sagging boobs and menopause and grey hair, and you get your jollies every time he needs to eat. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

"As a matter of fact, I - holy cow!"

Some sort of a shimmering portal opened up directly in front of me, so close I felt static from the little snakes of electricity that sparked off it. I fell backward off the log as an empty black shape formed almost directly on top of me, the sudden skin-crawling wrongness of the Hashmallim bursting to life in my brain.

Theo! I screamed as I crawled backward, trying to avoid contact with the Hashmallim. Panic filled me, threatening to send me teetering over the edge of control. "Theo!"

"I'm here," he said, racing over to me, stepping between the still-approaching Hashmallim and myself. Somehow, his body seemed to block some of the horrible sensations the Hashmallim's presence was causing, leaving me able to dampen the rest enough so I could get to my feet.

"Wow," Sarah said, her expression a mixture of curiosity and terror. She grabbed my arm and clung on with a grip that would no doubt leave bruises. "OK, I see what you mean about them being unpleasant to be around. They look...wrong somehow. Just wrong. Like they're empty black shells of what people are. I think I'm going to forgo my interview."

I swallowed down a thick lump that made my throat ache, moving closer to Theo. I'm sure the picture we presented - the three of us clumped up together in a tight bunch - was amusing, but that was the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.

"Hashmallim, you honor us with your presence," Theo said in a strained voice, his usual elegant bow coming out a bit less than perfect.

"Why am I summoned, champion?" The Hashmallim's voice matched its image - flat and devoid of all emotion, yet awful at the same time.

"Oh my god, it has nothing, absolutely nothing in it," Sarah whispered in my ear as she clung to my back. "Not a face, not a shadow, not even a glimmer of depth."

I held onto Theo, silently drawing comfort from his broad, strong back.

"This is so amazing. I've never seen anything like it. It would be a bad idea to take a picture, wouldn't it?"

"Very." I struggled with the impossibility that was the Hashmallim, aware that as it had before, its very presence seemed to fill the surroundings with despair.

"We seek answers that only you can give us," Theo said, his voice steady. My awe and appreciation of him went up another few notches. "We would like information about the virtue Hope."

The Hashmallim's shape seemed to shimmer for a moment, then moved to the side to look at me, if such a thing was possible. Sarah gasped, and hid behind me. I knew just how she felt - at that moment, I would have just about given anything to close my eyes and hide from the Hashmallim. "What do you seek, Portia Harding?"

I swallowed down my fear, pulling strength from the comfort Theo silently offered me. "We seek the name of the murderer of Hope. I don't suppose your investigations have led you to a conclusion about that?"

The Hashmallim seemed to swell, blotting out the night sky around us.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Sarah muttered, and ran for the grassy verge beyond the parking lot. I fought down the bile that rose in my own throat, struggling to keep control of my emotions.

"That of which you speak does not exist," the Hashmallim said, its form twisting and turning upon itself in an endless dance of horror.

"Are there any suspects?" I asked, trying desperately to remember the list of questions we'd agreed to ask.

"Portia Harding."

"Other than me," I said, clinging to Theo, drinking in the warmth of his body.

"That which you seek does not exist."

That's the second time he's said that. What does it mean? I asked Theo.

It means something is up, he answered slowly, his mind busily sorting through ideas. I gave him full marks for being able to think while confronting the abomination before us.

I mentally girded my loins, and ventured another question. "Exactly when was she killed?"

"That which you seek does not exist."

If I wasn't at the point where I could quite possibly die of fear, I'd be annoyed at that.

Hmm. Interesting. Theo's words were thoughtful. "Do you mean that Hope was not murdered, that she died from other causes?"

The Hashmallim continued to face me, violating every rule of physics, its flat nothingness sucking the gaze in and holding it. "That which you seek does not exist."

An idea bloomed in my head. I could tell by the dawning enlightenment in Theo's face that it occurred to him, as well.

I cleared my throat. "Are you saying, then, that Hope has not died?"

"Confirmation," the Hashmallim said.

She's not dead, I said in stunned disbelief. Why does everyone think she's dead if she's not?

I don't know, but I intend to find out.

"Where is the virtue known as Hope?" Theo asked the Hashmallim.

"The answer you seek does not exist. The summoning is at an end." In front of Theo, the portal sparked to life again. The Hashmallim drifted toward it, clearly intending on returning to wherever it had originated.

"Wait a second," I said, moving around in front of Theo. The resulting wave of revolting nausea left me staggering against him. "You can't just leave like that. You're the Court police! There has to be something you can tell us about Hope."

The Hashmallim flickered for a moment at the edge of the portal. "In order to succeed, you must first destroy."

Both the Hashmallim and the portal disappeared without any further ado.

"What in the name of Stephen Hawking is that supposed to mean?" I asked Theo.

"I have no idea. This Hashmallim wasn't particularly inclined to give answers, it appears."

Slowly, the horror within me began to fade. Anger quickly replaced it.

"Sweet mother of sanity," I swore, looking at the spot the Hashmallim had occupied. "So help me, once I have your soul back, and this thing with Hope is cleared up, if I ever want to get involved in anything to do with the Court, you have my full permission to beat me senseless."