- home
- Fantasy
- Katie MacAlister
- Sex and the Single Vampire
- Page 15
It took me an hour, but eventually with Christian's help I warded all the doors and windows on the ground floor to prevent anyone who wished to do us harm from entering. I used a strong ward, one I had confidence in because I used it on my apartment every night, so I felt pretty secure as I limped up the stairs to the bed. I looked over at Christian, who had slowed his long-legged pace for me.
"You look pretty good for someone who's had two fist-sized holes punched through him, fought a demon, and is now moving around an hour after sunrise. How do you feel?"
He ran his hand through his hair (an added benefit to making him keep his hair unbound) and rubbed his jaw. "Like I've spent the day jousting without armor."
Ooh. Little time warp there reminding me just how old he was. Still, I knew how much energy he'd spent on fighting the demon and healing himself. With the warding and the rising sun draining him of more power, I knew it was imperative to get him to rest. I'd just keep our little discussion short, offer him the opportunity for a light snack in case he was peckish, and then put him to bed. "Yes, well, I do plan to grill you at length about everything you've seen and done during your life, but right now I'm more concerned about our immediate plans."
At the top of the stairs I turned left instead of right, and limped toward his study. He lifted me up from behind, turned on his heel, and marched in the opposite direction.
"Hey!" I protested, punching him lightly in the shoulder. "We have stuff to talk about."
"We can talk in bed. I've fought a demon, remember?"
"If we go to bed, we aren't going to talk, and you know it."
He grinned.
I bit his ear. "Christian, this is serious. If Eduardo is desperate enough to summon up a demon - which incidentally confirms my earlier suspicion that one of the people in the triumvirate had tapped into dark power - it's a sure thing he's not just going to shrug his shoulders and walk away. I can't imagine why, but for some reason he wants me."
"Mi amor!"
"Oh, no," I groaned, dropping my forehead to Christian's shoulder. "Not now."
"Stand and face me, you coward!" I looked down the hall. Antonio had taken up a stand in front of Christian's bedroom door, and was waving his rapier around. "Now at last we will 'ave this out like men! No longer will you bully mi coraz¨®n."
Christian didn't even stop; he just waved one hand.
"My dove, my sweet rose, you must see 'ow we were meant to be - Caray! I 'ate it when 'e does this..."
Antonio dissolved.
"I can think of a number of reasons Eduardo wants you," Christian said as if we hadn't been interrupted, gently depositing me on my feet next to the bed. He peeled off my sweater, shoes, and pants without any further ado. I squeaked and scurried under the blankets while he locked the door and took off his jeans. He slid into bed and pulled me up next to him.
"No, now, talk, Christian; we need to talk. Your hands must remain above my waist at all times. And stop waving that around; you could poke someone's eye out with it."
He laughed and rolled onto his side, fitting my back to his chest so we were spooned together. "All right, my brave maly v¨¢le¨¨n¨ªk, what do you wish to do about Eduardo?"
I snuggled back against him, laced my fingers through his where they rested on my belly, and thought. "Well, first of all, we need to figure out why he wants me so badly. Yes, I Summoned up two ghosts under less than ideal circumstances, but there are other Summoners around who are just as good, if not better. So why go to all of this trouble for me?"
He was quiet for a moment, rubbing his chin on the top of my head. "I believe that at first the interest was in you as a person who could be swayed by the research possibilities. It sounds as if they thought they could manipulate you to Summon ghosts for them, and go along with their plans to keep the spirits available."
"For research."
"Possibly."
"Well, I can't imagine what else you could do with a ghost. 'At first,' you said. I take it that means you think there's a different interest now?"
He said nothing. He didn't need to. I knew what the interest in me now was. Pain filled my heart.
Christian's arm tightened around me. Beloved, it is not your fault. I would have come to their attention sooner or later in my attempt to find Sebastian. It was my plan. You have not betrayed me.
"They found you through me."
And you have made me stronger than I have ever been, so that together we can fight them. Do you not see that rather than destroying me, you have saved me?
"I think it's a very fine line between destruction and salvation, and I never was one who could color within the lines."
His laughter filled my head, warming my soul just as his body warmed mine. I would not want to you be any different.
"That's because you're crazy. And old. You're much too old for me, I see that now. I draw the line at dating men more than five hundred years older than me. Anything past that is just decrepit."
He laughed again and pulled my hips tighter to him. Do I feel decrepit to you, Beloved?
"Stop that. We have to talk about what we're going to do. And besides, you were gravely wounded just an hour and a half ago. A man who's had two holes punched through his body and fought a demon cannot - Oh, good heavens. Christian!"
He eased my leg up over his thigh and slid into me. Now we shall see who is too old.
"You don't play fair," I murmured into his armpit.
I do not have to. I am a Dark One.
"You are an arrogant one is what you are." I turned my head and spread my fingers through the hair on his chest. "But an arrogant one with many amazing and wondrous talents who makes my bones melt. However, there are other things than your talent that we really should talk about. If you don't mind returning to an earlier, less pleasant subject, what are we going to do about Eduardo?"
His sigh ruffled my hair. "We will guard against another attack, and I will locate Sebastian."
I pinched him.
He sighed again. "And to think I spent all those hundreds of years assuming my Beloved would be a sweet, gentle woman who would spend her days finding ways to please me."
"Dream on, Vlad. You were saying?"
"We will guard against another attack, and then I will - with your assistance - locate Sebastian."
I decided he'd had enough pinching for one day. "Just barely passable, mister. Now, I think that the quickest way to find Sebastian is to give Eduardo what he wants - namely, me."
"No."
"If I let him nab me somehow, he'll have to take me to wherever he's keeping Sebastian, because he'll know you are sure to come riding up on your white horse to save me."
"I refuse to allow this."
"I might even be sure to have one or two of the ghosts with me - I'm willing to bet Antonio would volunteer - just to sweeten the pot and make sure they grab me."
"It is totally out of the question."
"Then, once I'm taken to wherever they're holding your friend, I can tell you where I am, and you can come zooming in with reinforcements and rescue Sebastian, save me from whatever terrible fate Eduardo and Guarda have planned for me, and we'll all live happily ever after."
"This plan of yours is intolerable."
It was my turn to sigh. I rolled over until I was stretched out on top of him, resting my chin on my hand. "Do you have a better plan?"
"Yes."
"Christian, you know the only way to find out where Sebastian is being held is to allow one or the other of us to be captured, and let's face facts - it will be easier for you to rescue me than for me to rescue you. I know my own strength, I know what I can and can't do, and summoning up enough power to rescue two half-dead vampires is not within my abilities. I simply do not have the resources that you have."
"Regardless - "
"No." I put my hand over his mouth. "Rather than arguing about this for the rest of the day, why don't you just recognize that I'm right, and start putting that formidable mind of yours to work on how to keep me safe when I'm in the clutches of the triumvirate and rescue Sebastian at the same time."
I will not allow you to endanger yourself.
I moved my hand and kissed him. I have absolute faith in you, Christian.
You are everything to me. You cannot do this.
"I have to," I said, tracing the silky line of his eyebrows. "Don't you see? This is all part of my dream, part of us. If we don't do this - together - our relationship will be incomplete, a farce, a shadow of what it should be. If we are truly meant to be together, we must see this through. We must fulfill the promise that our relationship holds."
I sensed the struggle within him, the need he felt to keep me safe and out of trouble warring with the respect he had for my strength, the pride he had in my abilities. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly, his lips moving in a line of kisses on my forehead. You are going to doom me to an eternity of righting every wrong, of saving every person in need who comes to your attention, aren't you?
I smiled into his chest, closing my eyes and murmuring a prayer of gratitude that I had found him, knowing that I had asked more of him than he ever imagined, and yet he had been everything I hoped for, and so much more. Maybe giving up a little bit of control wasn't a sign of weakness. Maybe, just maybe, I could remain strong even if I committed myself to Christian. You told me you were knighted when you were twenty-one. Once a knight, always a knight. The only thing that has changed is that now you have a partner.
If I didn't know better, I'd say the derisive noise that echoed through my head was a disgusted snort. I traced a ward over us both and fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating strong and true beneath my ear.
We held a war conference that afternoon. It wasn't easy getting Christian to agree to it, since his natural tendencies made him (foolishly) believe he could make up plans on his own and then inform me of my role in them after the fact, but in a scene that had all five ghosts disappearing the instant Christian threatened to lock me in a room and conveniently lose the key, which, of course, I countered with a promise of slow castration, I eventually persuaded him that where he and I together might reign supreme over the triumvirate, other warm bodies would be a welcome addition to help with any minions who might be lurking about.
So it was that an hour after I described to Christian just how I would geld him (with a grapefruit knife and two egg cups), we sat in his comfortable study with Joy, Raphael, Roxy, and the ghosts (minus Alis, who had been left in an empty bedroom with several inexpensive ceramic knickknacks to amuse her). The TV was blissfully muted.
"This is so exciting. I've never rescued anyone before. I want a gun. Raphael, can I have a gun? I think I need a gun."
"Firearms! What an excellent idea," Antonio said. Roxy smiled at him. He stroked his beard and wiggled his eyebrows at her until he saw me watching him.
"No guns," Raphael told Roxy, then shot Christian a martyred look that very nearly rivaled the one Christian was always wearing around me.
"There will be no need for guns," Christian agreed. "Your role will not require it."
She frowned. "Oh? Just what do I get to do?"
"I believe you will best serve our cause by keeping a protective guard over Joy. Raphael will feel easier to know someone is with her."
"A woman who is anticipating a blessed event should always be kept calm and reassured." Esme nodded sagely from where she sat next to Christian.
"What?" Roxy asked. "Why does she need to be guarded? No one wants to kidnap her!"
"I could be kidnapped if I wanted to," Joy said defensively.
"I would kidnap you if you were not... eh..." Antonio waved at her stomach.
"Thank you, Antonio, that's very sweet of you," Joy said, smiling smugly at Roxy.
Roxy rolled her eyes. "He's just being nice to you because anyone can see you're about to explode. I want in on this, too; you can't palm off some stay-at-home job on me. I'm very good in a tight place; I've had self-defense training. I was tops in my class with the bottle of Mace. I bet I could take down at least a couple of this Trust's goons."
"There will be no taking down of anyone, no Mace, and no violence. My company specializes in nonlethal security, and I do not want to jeopardize its reputation because of a trigger-happy vigilante."
Raphael told her. We all nodded, even Jem, who had dropped the chains and torn clothing, and was now clad in a pinstripe suit and talked like he was a cross between a character from Tom Jones and The Godfather.
"Maces are very old-fashioned," Antonio commiserated with Roxy. "No one uses them anymore. I prefer a rapier, myself. It is very deadly, yet always looks stylish."
She blew him a kiss. I frowned at both of them. "Christian and I talked this all out and we have a plan. If you will let us tell it, you'll see where each of you fits into it."
"I don't have to stay at home with the beached whale, do I?" Roxy asked suspiciously.
"That's it; you're off the list as godmother," Joy answered, trying to cross her arms over her belly but not succeeding.
"Expectant mothers should never be referred to as sea mammals," Esme scolded. Jem sniggered.
"No, you do not need to stay at home with Joy if you don't want to, although I happen to think she looks charming," I answered. Joy beamed at me. "It's really a simple plan, and I think you'll agree that we have all the bases covered."
Everyone looked at us expectantly.
Go ahead; I'll let you tell it, since it was mostly your plan.
How very gracious of you.
Don't push your luck. I'm still ticked off about that "locked in a room" comment.
Three hours and thirty-two minutes later four of us stormed the ARMPIT offices, clad in jumpsuits and ventilation hats labeled with the name of a natural-gas company, Raphael in the lead with a clipboard and an extremely officious manner. Aided by Christian, master of the mind push, we had the offices cleared out in just a couple of minutes.
"That was fun." Roxy giggled as the last secretary dashed out the door, under the mistaken impression that a gas leak was about to cause an explosion of a catastrophic nature. She pulled off her ventilator and smiled at Christian. "That Vulcan mind-meld thingy of yours sure does come in handy. I bet you could make a killing at the racetrack, eh?"
I grabbed her arm and pushed her toward a row of filing cabinets. "Stop hitting on Christian; you're married."
She grinned and saluted me. We scattered around the offices, combing through both paper and computer files for anything that might lead us to the two houses the trust owned in London.
"Hey, is this something? It's a receipt for some temperature-controlled wine vault."
"Wine vault?" Christian looked up from the computer on Guarda's desk and came out into the outer office. "Guarda does not strike me as the type of person who appreciates fine wines."
We all huddled around to look at the receipt.
"It's in the basement," I pointed out.
"And has a steel-lined door and reinforced walls," Raphael mused. "Unusual, that. More like a bunker than a wine vault."
"What's the address?" I asked.
"It's to the north. Hmmm. Might be worth a look."
Raphael and Christian exchanged glances, something I immediately put a halt to.
"Don't even begin to think what you're thinking," I shook my finger at Christian, pulling on my coat and snatching the receipt from Roxy's hand. "It's all of us or none. Your choice."
"I'd prefer it if someone stayed behind with Joy," Raphael started to say.
"We left her the ghosts; they'll let us know if anyone tries anything." I pushed past Raphael and headed out the door at a fast clip, or at as fast a clip as I could get my wonky leg to move. After consulting with a map of the city, we piled into Raphael's car and headed north.
The city quickly turned into bustling suburbia, then into a prosperous neighborhood of tall town houses. Respectability dripped from every eave, leaving me vaguely surprised that Guarda had chosen such a quiet, sedate suburb to use as her ghost and vampire storage facility. Raphael pulled up in front of one of a line of houses pleasantly situated on a street that curved along a gentle crescent.
"That's number eighteen, down there. The one on the end."
We all looked where Raphael was pointing. The house looked no different from any others on the street.
"Doesn't look very creepy, does it?" Roxy asked.
"Which just makes it all that much more chilling," I answered as I got out of the car. "Everyone know the plan? Roxy, you and Raphael create a distraction at the front door while Christian and I slip in the back way."
"Yeah, yeah, piece of cake. No one can create a scene like I can." She grinned.
"An understatement if I ever heard one." Raphael groaned, but allowed her to grab his arm and drag him off toward the door to number eighteen.
Christian took my hand and tugged me down a narrow alley that ran behind the crescent.
You will conform exactly to our plan, maly v¨¢lle¨¨n¨ªk. You will not try to rescue Sebastian by yourself.
We dodged trash cans and parked cars, eventually coming to the back of the last house on the row. The tiny garden was sodden with the incessant rain, water squelching into my boots. I glanced up at the house, shivering at the dark, blank look of the windows. The house felt guarded, as if it were used to holding secrets inside and never allowing them out. Somewhere in there was a Dark One, kept weak and barely alive for who knew what nefarious purpose. "I've already promised you three times I won't endanger myself, Christian. Just remember to stick to your part and don't get any ideas about throwing yourself between me and any danger we run into. If I need help, you will be the first person I ask for it."
His sigh brushed my mind as he waved a hand at the back door. It clicked open. My next Beloved is going to be a mild, sweet-tempered woman who will never question me, and will not give me one moment's concern.
He slipped through the door with me right behind him. We were in a semidark small room, a mudroom by the looks of it. Discarded boots littered the floor, and musty-smelling coats hung haphazardly from a row of pegs on the wall. Christian froze for a moment at the door, the sound of Roxy's high-pitched yelling counterpointed by the rumble of Raphael's bass clearly audible even in the back of the house. Bless Roxy, it sounded like she was out there giving birth to a wildcat. If her histrionics didn't attract everyone within hearing distance, I'd be an imp's aunt. Without even turning back to wave good-bye, Christian melted into the shadows and headed toward what I assumed was the door to the basement stairs.
I peered around the dim light of the kitchen to make sure it was empty, then laid my hand against the wall and stood for a moment, opening my mind up to the house. The spirit I was after was being held upstairs, in a small attic room. On the floor below me I could feel Christian as he searched for his friend.
Christian?
Yes, Beloved? I smiled into the gloom of the kitchen as I started up a dark, uncarpeted stair, Roxy's voice echoing through the house as she accused someone of trying to cop a feel.
Your next Beloved isn't going to love you nearly as much as I do.
I grinned at the stunned silence that followed my statement.
We are going to have a talk when this is over, Allegra. A long, long talk. Preferably in the bathtub.
Be careful, Christian. Whoever it was who helped Eduardo and Guarda trap Sebastian is not going to treat you with kid gloves. You might be a bossy, arrogant sort of vampire, but you're my bossy, arrogant vampire and I don't want anything happening to you.
He smiled into my mind. You are my Beloved. You mean more to me than my life. I will do everything within my power to do as you command.
I figured that was about as good as I was going to get. Roxy's voice took on a new level of stridency as I limped to the top of the stairs, then started up the second flight. By the time I reached the top of the third flight, my leg was screaming. The wards I'd sketched around me glowed a soft green, indicating that something demonic was in the house.
Everything okay? I checked with Christian.
Yes. I have located the wine vault. The door is locked and warded, but I believe I will be through it shortly. You have not seen anyone?
Not a soul, I thought, then gave a mental grimace as I hurried toward the room that held the ghost. I just hope Roxy can keep them busy a little bit longer. Let me know if you need help with the wards.
Follow the plan, Christian replied sternly. No deviations. No unauthorized rescues. I will not have your safety compromised.
I rolled my eyes at the empty hallway, and tried the middle door on the left. It was open.
Unfortunately, it was also occupied.
"Allegra Telford," Guarda said from where she sat in the corner.
"Why am I not surprised?" Phillippa asked, standing to one side of the ghostly figure of a small girl. She had her back to me, so I couldn't see much other than that she was dressed in ankle boots, stockings, and an elaborate knee-length salmon-colored skirt that gathered over a small bustle.
"Maybe you're psychic," I answered, then regretted smart-mouthing her. I swung the door open and smiled a shark smile at both of them. "Well, it's been lovely, but I really have to be..."
The ghost turned to look at me. Her expression of despair rivaled that which I felt in Christian. Clearly here was a ghost who wanted to be Released, but who was trapped, forced to remain here, called forth by either Phillippa or Guarda and refused the deliverance she was due.
"Honoria, go to your keeper," Guarda commanded as she rose from her chair. The little ghost's eyes turned to a ratty cloth doll; then she disappeared. A little zing of hope quivered in my mind as my fingers automatically began tracing wards in the doorway behind me. "As for you, Allegra Telford, the time has come for you to understand just who you have set yourself against. Phillippa?"
The hermit nodded and slipped out the door behind me. I didn't have long; I knew Phillippa had been sent to fetch Eduardo, who was no doubt at the front of the house trying to deal with Roxy and Raphael.
Christian?
"You realize, of course, that by coming here you have given yourself into our power."
I felt his concentration as he struggled to unmake the wards on the wine vault door. I am almost through the door.
Good. I found the ghost. I should have her in a couple of minutes, but then all hell's going to break out. Can you get Sebastian out by yourself?
He frowned into my mind. I can, but acquiring the spirit is not according to our plans, Allegra. What are you hiding from me?
"We are too strong for you. It would be better if you came to us willingly, but if it is not to be" - Guarda shrugged - "we will take you by force."
I set up another level of guards in my mind between Christian and Guarda. Yeah, well, I didn't plan on falling in love with a vampire, either, but sometimes you just have to deal with what life hands you.
"Why are you torturing that poor child? Why don't you Release her? What can you possibly hope to learn from a little bitty ghost like that?" I asked Guarda, more to keep her from discovering I was talking to Christian than to hear her answers.
You are up to something, the silky, suspicious voice slid through my mind. I cannot stop now to investigate, but you will remember what you have promised. Your safety comes first.
"The poor child is a spirit, a mere memory of a human life. It has no feelings."
"You know what?" I asked, tipping my head to the side and gathering power until it glowed hot in my hands. "I think you're the one without any feelings. Which makes me regret this not at all."
Guarda frowned, falling right into my trap. "Regret what?"
I lunged forward, slamming the power held in my hands straight into her face, sending her flying backward until she hit the wall. Her head cracked painfully on a wooden shelf as she slid down, slumping in an untidy heap on the floor. I wasn't sure if it was the overload of my power shorting out hers, or being knocked unconscious that disabled her, but I didn't stop to question the situation. From somewhere on a floor below me I heard a shriek.
"Drat it all; she's got a sympathetic link to Phillippa. I might have known." I grabbed the doll keeper, stuffing it under my sweater as I spun on my good leg to race down hall toward the back stairs.
Noise erupted from the front of the house.
I hope you have that door open, because you're going to have company any second now! I warned Christian.
He didn't answer, and I didn't have the time to probe further. As I hit the second floor running, a dark shadow to my left lunged toward me. My wards glowed gold and white, allowing me to grab the banister and throw myself down the stairs without the ARMPIT flunky getting a grip on me. He was close behind me, though, panting heavily as he thundered down the stairs after me.
I flung myself off the last couple of steps, my weak leg buckling beneath me and sending me crashing painfully to the ground. The ARMPIT tripped over me, and went flying. I stumbled to my feet, holding tight to the front of my coat, the wards around me lit up in brilliant emerald. Beyond me, the door to the basement was suddenly blown off its hinges, the percussion from the blast deafening the shrieks and screams from the front of the house. I kicked at the ARMPIT as he grabbed for me, limping hard toward the back door, glancing behind me to make sure Christian was following.
A tall, handsome man with filthy dark blond hair and sunken eyes staggered from the basement. He was dressed in rags, his emaciated body thin, far too thin for any human to survive. He stumbled and clutched a chair as he tried to walk toward me.
"Sebastian?"
He looked up, his face gray and gaunt.
"Beloved," was all he said, the word a whisper so faint I hardly heard it.
"Yes, I'm Christian's Beloved," I said, limping toward him.
"No, you don't!" the ARMPIT yelled, lumbering to his feet. "That's ours! You can't have it!"
I snatched up the teakettle sitting on the counter and hurled it at his head, lacing the kettle with my last remaining dollop of power. The ARMPIT never stood a chance.
"Come on quickly; we're out of time," I said as I shoved my shoulder under Sebastian's arm and tried to hurry him toward the door. "We have to get out of here now, before the triumvirate - "
The air within the house shuddered.
"Too late." I groaned, half dragging the vampire to the door. A wave of power slammed into me, ramming me up against the counter. I struggled for breath, struggled to hold on to Sebastian as wave after wave of pain rolled through me. My wards were gone, dissolved under the strength of the triumvirate's power. Sebastian started to fall, clawing at the counter. I wrapped my hand into the shredded cloth that covered his back and fought my way through the pain to make it the last few steps to the door. I knew if I could just get us beyond the boundary of the house, the triumvirate's power would be significantly lessened. The door was warded, but I'd seen the ward before. I half held Sebastian as I untraced it, gritting my teeth against the agony that racked me, sick with the stench of demons. My strength was draining quickly, the last reserves being used to hold Sebastian up and keep me standing against the force of the triumvirate's continuous attack. With a sob that was more than a little mingled with prayer, I freed the ward and clutched at the door, dragging Sebastian through it into the black rain outside.
The windows above our heads shattered, tiny bits of glass pinging around us on the paving stones as a soundless roar of anger filled the night.
"Come on," I cried to Sebastian as I pulled him to his feet, my voice a croak of pain. "We have to get out of here."
Stumbling over what seemed like every stone, falling twice into the mud and rain-soaked grass, I managed to navigate Sebastian through the tiny garden, down the alley toward the place Raphael had left his car. Halfway there Roxy appeared out of the shadows.
"God almighty, you're covered in blood."
"Grab his other side," I said in a gasp, my breath a sharp stab in my side. "I can't hold him up much longer."
She hurried around him and took a bit of his weight, and together we got him step by painful step down the alley until we were at Raphael's car. Sebastian fell into the backseat, Roxy beneath him as she tried to pull him in. Raphael ran down the road toward us, several ARMPITs in close pursuit.
"Get in the car," he roared at me as I stood looking back down the alley.
"I can't; Christian isn't here."
"Get in the damned car!"
I shook my head and stepped away from the open door. "Christian hasn't come out yet."
Raphael can run; I'll give him that. For a big guy, he's incredibly fast on his feet. Still, the ARMPITs giving chase were angry, and that meant Raphael had no time to listen to me explain that absolutely, under no circumstances, would I leave without Christian. Instead he just picked me up and threw me into the back of the car on top of Roxy and Sebastian, lunging into the front seat and slamming his foot on the accelerator as he started the car. All three of us in the backseat were thrown backward as the car shot off, swerving around one ARMPIT as he leaped toward us.
Raphael swore and swerved again, the faint thud indicating that this ARMPIT wasn't as agile as the last.
"It's okay," he said, panting as he glanced into his rearview mirror. I hauled myself off Sebastian and turned to glare at Raphael's head. "Just winged him. He's up and running. We made it."
I turned to look back, ignoring the four people as they ran down the rain-slicked pavement after us. The house stood as silent as ever, its windows staring out into the street with dark, watchful eyes.
I slumped down into the seat, a sharp pain slicing through my heart. "No, we didn't make it. We left Christian behind."