Dragonslayer's Return

They went atop the same hillock where they had encountered the haggis previously. Again, fortunately, no crahg wolves or any other monsters were about to challenge them.

"The dragon was flying back and forth on this side o' the Crahgs not so long ago," Mickey reasoned, trying to explain the unusual calm in the dangerous region. "Robert probably sent all them wolves running to the east, deep in their hills."

It was a cheery thought - somewhat. None of the others, certainly not Kelsey, Geldion, or Geno, feared crahg wolves or anything else the Crahgs might throw at them, with the exception of the one beast they had come to catch.

The sun was nearly down as they sorted out their encampment. Kelsey tethered the horses closer to the group this time, while Geno, with help from Tommy, moved about securing the perimeter of the mound. The giant carried the large sack, and took a sheet of metal, perhaps three feet square, from it every few feet. Following Geno's instructions, Tommy jammed the sheets into the soft turf, and the dwarf pounded them the rest of the way down.

"Let the little hairy bug come burrowing at us underground," the dwarf said wickedly and smacked his hammer on top of the next plate in line.

Twilight turned to darkness and the howls of distant crahg wolves came up. All in the camp were nervous; not one of them fostered any thoughts of trying to sleep. Kelsey and Geldion looked to Mickey often, their expressions reflecting their increasing impatience.

Mickey walked all about the mound's top, whispering enchantments under his breath, sending his magic deep into the soil that the wild hairy haggis might hear it clearly. The leprechaun wasn't thrilled about summoning the beast, of course, but his pragmatic side told him that the sooner they encountered the haggis, the sooner they might be out of the Crahgs.

The moon was full and high above them; the calls of the wolves had increased tenfold, and had come closer, sometimes seeming as if the strange-looking canines might be all about the base of the mound. "Are we to fight a haggis, or all the creature's minions?" Geldion asked nervously after one particularly vocal stretch.

"Let the stupid doggies come up," Geno retorted sharply, his tone revealing his tension. He stalked to the edge of the mound and howled, and when a wolf howled in reply, somewhere in the thick darkness below the mound, the dwarf let fly a hammer, spinning into the night. "Stupid dogs," Geno muttered and walked back toward the middle of the encampment.

Geldion kicked hard at the soft turf in anger, expecting a thousand crahg wolves to rush up in answer to Geno's attack.

"Easy," Mickey said to the Prince, and to all the others. "The wolves'll not come up, not when the haggis is about. We're too much for them, and they know they'll find much carrion after their wild leader's done his work."

"Well put," Geno grumbled sarcastically.

"I mean that's what they're thinking!" Mickey corrected. "How can they be knowin' that we've a trap . . ." "Ee ya yip yip yip!" The cry buried the leprechaun's thoughts and brought a shriek from Gerbil, and the gnome threw himself face down on the ground. "What was it? What was it?" he squeaked from under his elbow.

"Ee ya yip yip yip!" the cry came again, and the horses nickered and banged together, and Geno hopped in circles, a hammer in each hand, and Tommy, poor Tommy, trembled so badly that he looked like a willow tree caught in the eye of a tornado.

"Ee ya yip yip yip!"

"Where is it?" Kelsey demanded, running about and trying to get his bearings on the obviously nearby monster. The haggis's cry echoed off every hillock, resounded a hundred times and filled all the air about them.

Gerbil got back to his knees. "Indisputably incredible," the gnome announced.

"What?" Gary demanded.

"That cry!" the gnome said happily, all his fears apparently washed away. "That cry! Oh, how perfect!" "Duh?" said Tommy, and Gary and Diane agreed wholeheartedly.

"Ee ya yip yip yipF' came the wail.

Gerbil hopped up and down, clapping his plump gnomish hands. "I must find a way to reproduce that!" he squealed. "Yes, in a bottle or a beaker." He looked directly into the blank stares of Gary and Diane. "That sound will keep the rodents from Gondabuggan. Oh, I will get my name on the Build-A-Better-Mousetrap plaque!"

"The Build-A-Bet . . ." Diane stuttered.

"Don't ask," Gary warned, knowing they had no time for one of Gerbil's gnomish dissertations.

"Ee ya yip yip yip!"

"There's the bug!" Geno yelped, pointing a hammer over the mound's southern edge. The dwarf growled and fired, then stamped his foot in frustration as the haggis dove underground and the hammer bounced harmlessly away.

Up the hillock the monster charged, churning the ground above it. Full speed, right into the buried metal plate. The entire mound jolted as though a bomb had gone off, and then there was silence.

Geno hopped up and down and punched his fist into the air in victory.

But then the ground churned atop the mound, on the other side of the plate!

"Duh?" Geno blubbered, sounding a lot like Tommy. Suddenly the dwarf was flying again, spitting curses through every somersault.

Gerbil was fast to the trap, and Tommy too, the giant working to shift the cage in line and Gerbil ready with the faceplate lever.

But the haggis turned abruptly, rushing to the side, towards Kelsey and Geldion. It burst free of the ground and leaped, flying between the two.

Kelsey spun to the side, sword in hand, and snarled as he began his vicious cut.

His arm had barely begun to come around when Geldion intercepted, throwing all his weight against the elf and knocking Kelsey to the ground.

"Father!" he cried after the beast.

The haggis hit the ground and disappeared so quickly that it seemed as if the creature had dived into a dark pool of water. Impossibly quick, too, was its turn, for it came up right under the startled Prince Geldion's heels, launching him into a forward roll.

Geno bounced down, right back in the thing's path. The dwarf's eyes popped wide and he shrieked and dove aside, but reached out with one hand as the haggis zipped past.

"Got you!" Geno cried, his iron grasp locking onto one of the haggis's legs. But the dwarf's triumph turned to horror as he bounced off behind the wild thing, his "capture" not hindering or slowing the haggis one bit. "Duh, hey!" Tommy cried, throwing his hands in front of him as the haggis went airborne. The next thing the giant knew, he was laid out flat in the grass, watching the pretty stars and moon, his chest throbbing. The haggis bounced high after slamming the giant, and plunged down for another underground dive, Geno in tow. The haggis was bigger than Geno, but it was sleeker, and better prepared for its tunneling swim.

The dwarf grunted and ate dirt, and hung in place, his legs and feet the only thing visible above the ground. And the haggis tunneled off for the edge of the mound, and smack into another of the buried plates, jolting the mound so fiercely that Diane found herself suddenly sitting.

The creature's tremendous momentum took out the side of the mound's lip, and the haggis, suddenly above ground and holding a dented and torn metal plate, sat perfectly still for a moment, apparently stunned. It shook its shaggy head, its ample lips batting loudly, then let loose another of those bone-shivering wails and ran off into the night.

"There it goes!" Gary called, thinking the encounter ended.

"Here it comes," Mickey corrected, floating up above the camp under his umbrella. "The thing's making straight for the horses."

'Tommy!" Gary called, grabbing at the heavy trap, trying to drag it in line with the approaching beast. Tommy was still staring at the stars and would be of no help. Kelsey came to Gary, as did Geldion, and the three managed to slide the trap across the grass.

Up the hillock came the haggis, diving underground again and speeding right for yet another of the buried plates.

"Brace!" Mickey warned, but the haggis skidded to a stop right before the plate and popped above ground, gently hopping over the devious barrier.

"Haaaa, hahahahaha!" it chided. Its wild eyes darted all about. It looked to the horses and a long tongue flopped out of its mouth, dragged on the ground before licking the thing's lips. Then it seemed even more eager as it regarded the floundering Geno, half-buried.

"Ee ya yip yip yip!" it shrieked and disappeared underground, making straight for the dwarf.

Diane was there first, and Gerbil rushed beside her, each taking one of Geno's large boots under their arms and pulling hard. Both flew over backwards, Diane clutching the boot, and it took her a moment to realize that she didn't have the dwarf with her.

She looked back to see the haggis bearing in, the helpless Geno's toes waggling in the air.

"Geno!" she and Gerbil and all the others cried. Sword in hand, Kelsey rushed across, and a horrified Geldion followed, calling for his father, trying anything to calm the monster.

The haggis slammed in; the dwarf grunted and his legs stopped kicking. Then the haggis popped out of the ground, still on the same side of the dwarf, its tongue hanging low and a sour expression on its contorted features.

"Blech!" it groaned and again its wild eyes darted side to side, searching for a meal.

Gary heard a whinny right behind him and he turned, then fell away in surprise, seeing a fat pony right where the trap had been sitting.

"Bait it in, lad," Mickey implored him.

The pony-cage whinnied again.

Kelsey charged and cried out, bringing his sword to bear.

He hit nothing but air and grass, though, for the haggis took to tunneling again.

Prince Geldion went for another spinning flight as the hungry haggis sped underneath him, bearing down on the fattest prize of all.

Gary jumped out in front and to the side and plunged Cedric's spear deep into the ground, and the haggis, feeling the strength and remembering the cruel weapon from their last encounter, surfaced and rushed over the angled shaft.

"Ee ya yip yip yip!" it cried triumphantly, lifting from the ground, flying for the heart of the fat pony. Flying straight into the spring and wire cage.

Over and over the heavy cage rolled, off the side of the crahg, settling a dozen feet below the Up.

Triumphant cries became a wail of disbelief as Mickey floated down and yanked the lever, closing the trap's door.

Gary was the first down the hillock, with Geldion and Diane coming fast behind.

"I never knew that Wile E. Coyote hunted the Tasmanian devil," Diane remarked, taking Gary's arm, and the analogy seemed accurate enough, for the haggis went completely berserk, pulling and slamming, biting at the wire and clawing at the thick support beams. Its frenzy stood the cage up on one end, despite Gary and Geldion's efforts to hold the thing steady, and it seemed as if the creature would surely break free.

Tommy came bounding down, but even his great and powerful arms could not hold the cage in place.

"It's not to hold!" Mickey cried.

"Talk to it!" Diane pleaded with Geldion.

The Prince dove to the ground near the cage. "Father!" he called over and over, to no apparent effect. "Father!"

The haggis stopped its kicking suddenly and focused on the Prince. A hopeful smile widened across Geldion's face, and he unconsciously leaned nearer to the cage. The haggis's right arm tore through the mesh and clawed out at Geldion's face, coming up just a few inches short.

"No, I am Geldion!" the Prince protested. "Your son!"

The haggis retracted its arm and a curious expression crossed its face.

"It's trickin' ye!" Mickey warned, but too late, for Geldion, hoping against all reason, again leaned in and the haggis launched its left, and longer, arm and hooked him around the back of the head.

Geldion felt his cheekbone crack under the pressure as the beast hauled him in tight against the side of the cage, but that was the least of his worries with the monster's snapping maw barely inches from his face! "Stop!" Gary, commanded, and he accentuated his point with the point of a spear, sticking the creature in the forearm.

The haggis let go of Geldion and went berserk again, slamming the cage all about.

"I said stop!" Gary roared, prodding at the beast.

"Don't kill it!" Diane yelled, at the same moment that a pained Geldion called for Gary to stick the spear right through the thing's heart.

Gary could hardly aim at any particular point on the spinning ball of hair. Suddenly the creature twisted about, its hands locked around the spear's shaft.

Be strong, young sprout! the spear cried in Gary's mind, and it seemed to the man as though the weapon was terrified.

Gary tried to hold on, but his shoulder ached as though it would pop out of the socket once more, and he got hit more than once in the face from the spear's whipping butt end.

A blast of magical energy exploded from the speartip and the haggis fell away, dazed, all its hairs dancing up on end.

Gary prodded the spear in tight against the thing's chest. "I said stop!" he growled, poking hard. The haggis sat perfectly still, and slowly, Gary retracted the spear.

"Ee ya. . . . Ee ya," the haggis began chanting quietly (quietly for a wild hairy haggis). The creature's wild eyes closed tight, and it swayed back and forth.

"What's it doing?" Gary asked, freeing the spear from the last of the cage's entanglements and withdrawing it altogether.

"Might be that it's . . ." Mickey began, his explanation interrupted by the sudden renewal of howls. "Callin' the wolves!" Mickey finished. The leprechaun nodded to Tommy, and the giant hoisted the heavy trap. The haggis immediately went into its frenzy again, but Gary poked the spear through the side of the cage and the enchanted weapon issued another stunning blast.

Atop the hill, they found the others, even Geno, to their profound relief, the dwarf standing dazed, his left arm reaching across his chest to hold his other, injured limb tight to his side. Gary had never seen the sturdy dwarf so shaken, a point heightened considerably as the dwarf rocked back and forth unsteadily on his large bare feet.

Geno growled repeatedly upon seeing the haggis, but he made no move towards the beast.

"Ee ya," the haggis crooned softly. "Ee ya."

"We're off and running fast," the leprechaun said to Kelsey, and a few moments later, they were indeed, with Geno and Gerbil setting the pace, and Kelsey and Geldion taking up the sides and rear, weapons drawn in preparation for any pursuit. Gary and Diane rode on either side of Tommy, Diane talking to the giant, offering him whatever comfort she might, and Gary ready with the spear, prodding the haggis whenever it got too excited.

The wolves did come to the creature's call, dozens of them running in packs to the sides of the speeding group. But crahg wolves were not fast runners (unless they were coming down a hill), certainly not as fast as ponies and horses, and one very frightened giant!

One time a group did get in front of the troupe, but Geno blasted through, and Kelsey and Geldion were up in an instant, the Prince hacking away and the elf setting his deadly bow to action.

The end of the Crahgs was soon in sight, with no resistance between the friends and the open plains beyond, and their escape seemed inevitable.

Apparently it seemed that way to the haggis as well, for the beast went into such a frenzy as they had never seen before, so wild that Tommy tipped over sideways in trying to hold the pitching cage. Gary prodded the creature several times; the spear let off blast after blast of energy. But the haggis would not relent in its insane thrashing.

"Do something!" Geldion pleaded.

"I designed the cage to hold!" Gerbil insisted.

"I built the cage to hold!" Geno added, but neither of the two seemed overly confident in the face of the haggis's incredibly fierce display.

Diane came to understand. "It doesn't want to leave the Crahgs," she reasoned, slipping down from her horse and going as close to the cage as she dared.

"It has no choice in the matter," Kelsey said coldly, and Diane jumped as a rope fell over her shoulder. She looked back to see the other end fastened to Kelsey's steed.

"Tie the cage off," the elf instructed.

Geldion tossed a second rope over and motioned for Diane to tie it to the other side. They were off again soon after, the cage bouncing behind the pulling horses, with Tommy behind the cage, trying to keep it as steady as possible.

It seemed fitting that the dawn broke just as they crossed between the last two Craghs, and the companions' fleeting moment of hope was torn away by the most agonized and horrifying cry any of them had ever imagined, the scream of a thousand cats dropped into boiling water, of a thousand souls banished to eternal Hell.

"Eeeyaaaaaa!"