He really was. He was so amazing. “But he couldn’t have been serious.”
“I think he was,” Cara said. “He wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”
“Gavin loves to joke around, but if he said he wants to marry you, he meant it,” Grace said. “Trust me, I know him. I know he’s crazy sometimes, but the Baileys are the most loyal men you’ll ever meet. They’re men of their word, every single one of them.”
Cara rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue with her.
“Wait a second,” I said. “You two are basically normal, rational women.”
“She is,” Cara said, gesturing to Grace.
“And you’re both telling me that not only was Gavin serious when he said he wanted to marry me, but it wouldn’t be insane if I admitted that maybe I kind of want to marry him too?”
“Of course it’s insane,” Cara said. “But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
Grace laughed. “It’s not insane. I knew I was going to marry Asher before our first date.”
“There’s no rule book that says a relationship has to start at step one and proceed to steps two, three, and four,” Cara said. “And if there is, fuck the rule book. Be true to yourself, kitten whiskers. If you aren’t ready, tell him to slow the fuck down and date you like a good boy. But if Gavin’s ring on your finger feels like the right thing for you, then don’t be afraid to take the plunge.”
I stood suddenly. “I’m sorry but I have to go.”
“Just promise me I can plan your bridal shower,” Cara called as I rushed out the door.
Suddenly, the need to see Gavin was overwhelming. It felt like every second that ticked by pulled us further apart. I had to see him, and tell him in person how I felt.
I had to go for what I wanted.
I drove to his house and didn’t see his truck out front. But I stopped anyway, just to be sure. Levi was in the front window building some sort of structure—it looked like a big cat tree. He saw me coming and opened the door.
Logan blinked sleepy eyes at me from his spot on the couch. He had Princess Squeaker curled up on his chest. “Hey, Skylar.”
“Is Gavin home?” I asked, not even bothering to hide the desperation in my voice.
“He’s on duty until tomorrow,” Levi said.
“You can go see him at the—”
I was already running back to my car.
A crazy sense of urgency filled me, like if I didn’t talk to Gavin right now, I might never get the chance.
41
Gavin
I didn’t exactly have a plan yet, but to be fair, my shift had been busy. Only one call out, but the engine needed washing, gear needed to be checked, and a preschool class came in for a tour. I drew field trip duty, but I didn’t mind. Hanging out with a bunch of four-year-olds for an hour was awesome.
That probably said something about my maturity level, but I decided not to worry about it.
After the kids left with their red plastic fire hats, I had a little time to think, and I realized what was really holding me back. I needed to talk to Chief.
It wasn’t because I needed his permission to be with Skylar. She was a grown woman and could make her own decisions. But Chief was family—hers, of course, but mine in a way too. I needed to make things right with him before I could move forward with Skylar.
Assuming she wanted to move forward with me. I hated the cloud of doubt that hung over me, but the truth was, I didn’t know for sure what she wanted. And if she didn’t want me, I was going to have to figure out how to live with that.
For now, I was going to stick with blind optimism and talk to her dad.
I went to his office and took a fortifying breath as I knocked on the open door. “Hey, Chief. Can I have a minute?”
“Sure, Gav,” he said without looking up. “Come on in.”
There was that feeling again. Like something was crawling through my stomach and leaving tiny footprints behind. Was this fear?
I didn’t like it, but maybe I just needed more practice managing it.
It made me think about Skylar. She felt like this all the time, and she did shit anyway? Holy fuck, she was amazing. I loved her so much.
Chief raised his eyes. He looked good—younger, somehow. He sat up straight and his hair was neatly trimmed. “What’s up?”
Uh-oh. I hadn’t really thought this through, but before I could think better of it, I started talking. “I stole a cookie from your cookie jar. More than once. I know I said I wouldn’t and you could trust me not to. I think I even said I know how to bake my own cookies, and I did that too, but it wasn’t the same. No, that’s not what I’m trying to say.”
Fuck. This wasn’t going well. Chief looked at me with a mildly bewildered—or maybe it was horrified—expression on his face.
“Let me try this again.” I pressed my lips together for a second and took a deep breath. “I’m in love with your daughter.”
Now he really looked surprised. “What?”
“I’m in love with Skylar. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She’s smart, and talented, and beautiful, and sweet, and I could keep going, but you already know her. I’ve never been in love before, and maybe you’re wondering how I know I’m in love with her if it’s my first time, but trust me, I know. I’m crazy about her, Chief. I’m done, I surrender.”
He gazed at me for a long moment, like he didn’t know what to say. “Does she know all this?”
I winced. “Kind of? Not really. I tried to tell her the other day, but I was still freaked out by the accident and I did a supremely shitty job of it.”
He nodded slowly. “I see.”
“Look, I haven’t done things right when it comes to her, and I know that. And there’s a good chance she’s going to shoot me down anyway and none of this will matter. But before I go any further, I need to clear the air with you. You’ve been the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father and I meant no disrespect. And I’m probably not the kind of guy you’d want her to be with, but if I can fix things with her, I swear to you, I’ll be good to her. I’ll be good for her. You have my word.”
His brow creased. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want you to be with her?”
I glanced away. Damn, what was it with me and hard conversations lately? “You probably want her to be with someone more stable and mature. It’s okay, I understand.”
“Gav, I want her to be with someone who makes her happy. Someone who challenges her, cares for her, and protects her like she’s the most important thing in his world.”
I met his eyes. “I can do that, Chief.”
The corners of his mouth turned up. “I know you can.”
A rush of emotion hit me so hard it almost knocked the breath from my lungs. I rubbed the back of my neck, waiting for it to pass. “So you’re saying you’d be cool with me dating your daughter? Assuming she wants to date me, and I know that’s debatable right now.”
“If it’s what you both want, of course I’m okay with it.”
“Since we’re having this conversation, what if I want to do more than date her? Because I’m just going to be up front with you, Chief, I plan on marrying her. If I can convince her to marry me. But I think I can do it, I can be really convincing.”