We walked down the porch steps and cut across Gram’s land, heading for the road. The farther we got from the din of the party, the harder my heart beat. The moon was nearly full and the stars twinkled in their full glory away from the fire. We didn’t need light to find our way. We’d grown up on this land. Getting lost would have been impossible.
Asher didn’t say anything. Just held my hand while we walked. He didn’t seem to be in any hurry, and I wondered if he had a destination in mind. Eventually we came to the road that led into town. He turned up it and we kept going, following the same route we’d taken to and from school countless times as kids.
The houses were closer together here. Some were dark save for porch lights, their residents probably at Gram’s house for the graduation party. Others had lights in the windows or the flicker of a TV peeking through the curtains.
Despite the way my heart raced with anticipation, being with Asher like this felt surprisingly natural. Our fingers fit together comfortably, like we’d done this a thousand times. Like we’d started dating back in high school instead of spending the last several years growing apart.
Something deep inside me ached for that version of reality. For a world where Asher and I were together. Because anything else felt so wrong.
That was an overwhelming thought to have while I walked hand in hand with him in the moonlight. To acknowledge how much my heart grieved for something I’d never had.
How could a few short weeks back home make me question everything?
It was Asher. He was making me question everything.
He stopped walking and I looked around in surprise. I hadn’t been paying attention to where we were going. We stood in front of the old abandoned house on Evergreen Street. It was a ranch-style home, its big front window overgrown with blackberry bushes and ivy. A chimney hinted at a fireplace inside, but no one had lived here in years. The grass was waist high, and most of the property was choked with vines and thorny blackberries.
When Asher and I were kids, we’d often stopped in front of this old house on the way home from school. We’d made up stories about it being haunted, or played a version of “house,” where he was the dad and I was the mom, and we were coming home from work. Once we’d even tried to break in, but everything had been locked up tight.
“Remember when we used to play house here?” he asked, finally breaking the long silence.
“Yeah, I was just thinking about that.”
He was quiet again for a moment. We stood facing the house, still holding hands, the only sound frogs croaking somewhere nearby.
“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.” His voice was soft and low. “Growing up, and moving out, and the future. But I’ve also been thinking about the past. I feel like we went wrong somewhere, Grace. Like those kids we used to be were onto something.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I wasn’t sure what to say. So I waited.
“I made a big mistake in high school.”
“What was that?”
“Not telling you how I felt about you.”
I was grateful Asher didn’t let go of my hand because the weight of his words nearly knocked me over. My voice came out in a whisper. “How did you feel about me?”
“The same way I do now.” He turned me toward him and looked me in the eyes. “Grace, I’m in love with you.”
I stared at him. At his dark brown eyes, his face silhouetted in the moonlight. At the man who’d been my best friend for most of my life. Who my heart had missed so much.
He ran his thumb across my lips. “It’s okay; you don’t have to say anything right now. I wasn’t going to dump this on you tonight. I was only going to ask you out to dinner. I kept telling myself I had all summer to convince you to give us a shot and I needed to take it slow. But I just can’t. I need you to know. I love you. I’m not asking you to say it back yet. All I’m asking for is a chance. Just give me the summer.”
So many emotions swirled through me, I felt like bright rainbows of feeling would burst from my fingertips. It was almost too much for my body to contain. “But Asher, I didn’t think…”
“You didn’t think I wanted you?” His eyes roved over my face and he traced his thumb down my cheek. “I’ve always wanted you. That was my mistake. I was afraid, so I never told you. I thought we were too close, that our families were too close, and if it didn’t work out, I’d ruin things for everyone. But damn it, Grace, what if it does work out? What if this is everything I think it is?
“And I know you have school, and it’s four hours away. But that’s the thing—I’m not even worried about that. If we get to the end of summer and we want to stay together, we’ll just do it long distance for a while. You can come home a little more often, and I can come see you in between. Plus, I only have one more year. After that, I could move to Pullman while you finish your degree. And then, I don’t know, we decide where we want to be.”
A tear broke free from the corner of one of my eyes, leaving a hot trail down my cheek.
He held my face in both hands and leaned down to rest his forehead against mine. “If the answer is no, I won’t make things hard for you. I want you, but more than anything, I want you to be happy. I’m just asking for a chance.”
He pulled away slightly and looked into my eyes. I stared back, captivated. He wasn’t just a cute guy from college—someone who might be fun to hang out with. I couldn’t date him casually, just to see where things went. He was asking for a summer, but if I gave him so much as a moment, I’d have to give him all my moments. My heart wouldn’t accept anything less.
I didn’t know how I could be so sure. How I could flip a switch so quickly and be ready to change everything for him.
Except this was Asher Bailey, and a part of me had always known.
My answer left my lips on a whisper. “Okay. Yes.”
“Yes?” His fingers slid through my hair, kneading my scalp. “We’ll start with dinner. Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow is perfect.” My eyes flicked to the house. “And if things work out, maybe we’ll wind up back here, buying this old house to fix up together.”
“Deal.” He smiled, and emotion welled up in my chest, tightening my throat. I’d seen Asher smile a million times, but I’d never seen this smile. He was so happy, I could feel it. As if our souls were intertwining and the depth of his emotion flowed into me.
I’d give anything to keep seeing him smile at me like this.
His hands were still in my hair, and his gaze dropped to my mouth. Every nerve ending tingled with anticipation as he drew closer, and I tilted my chin up to meet his kiss.
Our lips came together, his pressing against mine in a gentle caress. My eyes drifted closed, and we hesitated there for the space of a heartbeat.
With a subtle shift, he slanted his mouth over mine more fully, and we sank into the kiss. I wound my arms around his neck and parted my lips, inviting him in deeper. His tongue slid against mine, warm and velvety soft.
The world around me fell away to nothing as he kissed me deep and slow. I melted into him, surrendering. Secure in his embrace. He was enticingly new and intimately familiar, all at once.
He was everything. He was home.