I glanced down at my bare ring finger, my chest growing inexplicably tight. “I understand.”
“Your situation is also a little unique in that there is no ex-spouse involved,” Jessalyn went on. “But that doesn’t mean that she’ll jump at the opportunity to have a new mom. Every child is different, but many children don’t like the thought of someone attempting to replace the parent they lost. You’ll want to be sensitive to that, especially if Mariah isn’t able to articulate what she’s feeling exactly.”
“Right.”
“But remarriage is a wonderful thing.” Jessalyn smiled and sat back. “It’s another loving adult in her life, another reassuring presence. And a chance for you to demonstrate a healthy, intimate relationship. She needs that.”
I nodded, clearing my throat. “Remarriage is kind of a scary topic.”
“Oh?”
“Not necessarily for me personally,” I said quickly, because I wasn’t scared of anything. “But because of a promise I made to Mariah when she was five.”
“What kind of promise?”
I told her about the time Mariah had come to me and asked if I ever planned to get married and leave her behind, and I’d vowed it would never happen. “A friend at school had been telling her that her father was getting remarried and moving away, and it was very upsetting to Mariah.”
“Of course,” said Jessalyn, nodding. “I can see how it would be. And sometimes we say things to our children to make them feel safe in the moment, and it’s only later that we realize that the truth might have allowed for some needed emotional development.”
“But it wasn’t like I said something untrue,” I argued. “I really never saw myself getting married again.”
“It’s wonderful that you met someone who made you change your mind, isn’t it?” Jessalyn smiled knowingly at me.
“I guess. I mean yes—it is.” But the topic of marriage was making me feel anxious, and I decided it was because I was worried my daughter would object. “What should I do if Mariah doesn’t see it that way? If she sees it as a threat?”
“You tell her you love her. Give her a hug. And try again another day,” Jessalyn said gently. “If you really care for Cheyenne, and you want her in your life, you want Mariah to feel good about it. Don’t give her any reason to believe you’re choosing someone else’s happiness over hers.”
I wrote frantically, copying down as many words as I could recall. “When do you think is the right time to do it?”
“That’s up to you,” she said. “But given the circumstances, I really don’t see a reason to wait too long. If you’re sure of your feelings for Cheyenne—”
“I’m sure of them.”
“Then talk to her. Just remember, no matter how much she likes Cheyenne, she’ll need time to get used to the idea of the two of you.”
“Okay.” I closed my notebook and stuck my pen inside the spiral. “Thanks a lot for talking to me. I really appreciate it.”
“My pleasure. And no charge for the visit,” she said, rising to her feet. “Just let me know how it goes.”
Eighteen
Cole
That night, Cheyenne and I had dinner over at Griffin and Blair’s.
They lived in what had previously been Griffin’s bachelor pad, which was located on the second story of an old fire station that housed the Bellamy Creek Garage on the ground level. Griffin and Cheyenne’s grandfather had started the business, their dad had run it for years before he died suddenly of a heart attack, and Griffin had run it for the past six years.
I was excited about spending the evening with her, but I was also distracted—going over Jessalyn’s advice in my head constantly. On the drive over, I’d told Cheyenne all about it, and she was cautiously optimistic, just like Jessalyn was.
We entered the old firehouse through a glass door to the left of the lobby entrance, and as we went up the stairs to the apartment, the aroma of garlic and lemon and something roasting in the oven made my mouth water.
Blair, wearing an apron over her dress, greeted us with a hug, and Griffin handed me a beer and Cheyenne a glass of wine.
I made up my mind to stop fretting about things so much and just enjoy the time I had with Cheyenne and my friends. This was the first time in a decade I’d done something like this. I wanted to savor it.
Blair and Griffin had decided to delay their honeymoon until after the holidays and were planning a trip to Mexico just after the New Year. Over plates of lemony chicken piccata, smashed potatoes and sautéed spinach, Blair rapturously described the resort they’d chosen.
“I’m so jealous,” Cheyenne said, taking a sip of her wine. “I wish I could get away to the beach this winter.”
“Why don’t you come with us?” Across the table, Blair flashed us an encouraging smile. “It would be fun!”
Next to her, Griffin frowned. “Did you just invite people on our honeymoon?”
“What, you and I are together all the time! I think it would be fun for the four of us to get away.”
“That’s a really sweet offer, Blair, but no.” Cheyenne laughed as she set her glass down and picked up her fork. “I’m not going on my brother’s honeymoon—or anyone’s honeymoon.”
“It would be impossible for me anyway,” I added. “I couldn’t leave Mariah for that long.”
“You must be excited about the new house,” Blair said. “Have you had the inspection yet?”
“Today,” I confirmed.
“How’d it go?” Griffin asked.
“Great. No surprises. I should have a closing date by the end of the year.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” Cheyenne bubbled. “Cole said he might even be able to show it to me next week.”
“Really?” Blair looked at me in surprise.
I nodded. “No one is living there, and the agent said the current owners gave the okay for me to go in with a contractor and take measurements, get estimates on the work, and all that.”
“Moretti doing the reno?” Griffin asked.
“Yeah.” I grinned. “In between play dates with his girlfriend.”
Everyone laughed, and Blair said, “You guys, I feel bad. We should meet her before we judge. What if Enzo really likes her? She could be the one.”
“She’s not the one,” Griffin muttered.
Blair slapped his shoulder. “You don’t know that for sure. He seems serious about her. I spoke with him at the wedding a little.”
“I don’t know, I gotta go with Griff on this one.” I picked up my beer bottle and took a sip. “I think he’s only dating her because he’s feeling pressure from his parents to settle down. I don’t get the feeling she’s the one.”
Blair sighed, like she was frustrated with both of us. “I don’t know that I trust either one of you to recognize true love right off the bat.”
“Did you hear that, Griff?” I teased. “Your wife doesn’t think we know a good hit when we see one.”