“She didn’t seem to mind.” Millie raised her brows and tapped her foot. “And she was here all the time, so it’s not like you had to leave us to go see her.”
I struggled for words. “Girls, you’re too young to understand this, but relationships are a lot of work. You have to invest a lot of time and energy into them, and … I’m no good at that. Look at what happened before. I can’t go through it again, and I definitely wouldn’t put you through it again. I love you too much.”
They exchanged another look. “We get that,” Millie said. “But we also know that Frannie is not like Mom at all. She’s different. So everything would be different.”
I shook my head. “I hear what you’re saying, but there are other reasons why it won’t work,” I told them, feeling like I was breaking hearts two, three, and four within a week.
“Like what?” More toe tapping.
Sighing, I fell back again, exhausted and depleted, and wishing I could crawl into bed and never get out. Her father wasn’t an issue. We no longer worked together. The age difference didn’t seem that big a deal anymore. And my terrible ex was always going to be my terrible ex, with or without Frannie in our lives. “I don’t know.”
“Daddy.” Dropping the tough guy act, Millie dropped onto the couch next to me. “Do you love her?”
Too miserable to lie, I nodded.
“Then it’s like I said—remember? When you love someone, you want to be with them. You agreed with me.”
Winnie sat on my other side and put a hand on my leg. “It’s like me and Ned the Hammerhead from Shedd. I don’t feel right if he’s not next to me.”
I looked at her and my throat tightened. “It’s exactly like that.”
“You have to get her back, Dad.” Felicity knelt in front of me and set her chin on my knee. “Can you?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “She’s pretty upset with me. I told her we had to end things.”
Millie sighed. “That was really stupid.”
I gave her a look. “Hey. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was doing it for you. Being your dad is the most important thing in my entire life, and I don’t want anything to take away from that.”
No one spoke right away. Then Winnie sat up taller. “But Daddy, just because I sleep every night with Ned right by me doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It’s a different kind of love.”
I looked at her in surprise. “You’re right, Winn. It is a different kind of love.”
“And you have been in the worst mood all week long,” Millie said. “We really can’t take it anymore.”
“We love her too, Daddy.” Felicity smiled hopefully, clasping her hands beneath her chin. “Please go get her back.”
“What if I try and it doesn’t work out?” I asked. “Are you going to hate me?”
“No,” Winnie said emphatically. “We’ll always love you.”
“But if you don’t at least try to get her back, we’ll be really mad for a long time,” Millie informed me seriously.
I looked at all three of them and thought my heart was going to burst. Was it possible I could be the dad they needed and the man Frannie deserved all at once? Could I be trusted not to mess up four lives? Was it fair to ask Frannie to accept all of us and every ounce of emotional baggage we came with? Could I ever be worth it?
I had no fucking clue, but right then I decided I had to try. “Okay. Will you help me?”
“Of course!” Millie jumped up and clapped her hands.
“Yes!” Winnie bounced excitedly.
Felicity hopped to her feet and reached into her pocket. “But Dad! You better take my lucky stone.” She fished it out and handed it to me.
Rising to my feet, I took it from her and closed my hand around it. “Thanks. I’ll take all the luck I can get. But you know what, girls? Right now I feel like the luckiest man alive because I get to be your dad.”
“I’ll give you a hug now,” offered Felicity.
I opened my arms and they all swooped in, and I thanked God for all three of my smart, sweet, loving girls.
“Can we go now?” Millie asked.
I took a breath, nervous and slightly sick to my stomach. But the girls were right—I loved her, I was miserable without her, and if she’d promise to forgive me for all the times I was less than she needed me to be, I’d promise to be open to anything in the future.
“Fuck, you guys.” I looked at all three of their faces. “I’m scared.”
“I know, Dad.” Millie took one of my hands. “But you can do this.”
Winnie took the other. “We believe in you.”
“We won’t even make you put a dollar in the swear jar until we get back,” Felicity said as she took off running for the back door. “Come on, let’s go!”
It didn’t occur to me that I hadn’t changed my shirt until I was parking the car across the street from Coffee Darling. I turned off the engine, looked down, and groaned.
“What?” Millie asked from the back seat.
“I should have changed my clothes. I’m wearing …” I pulled the shirt away from my chest. “Pink glitter.”
“Zip up your coat all the way,” Felicity suggested.
“No!” Millie was adamant. “The shirt is a statement about love and healing hearts. Plus Frannie helped make it. He should show her that he’s proud to wear it.”
I glanced back at her. “You’re pretty smart for eleven.”
She smiled. “I’m almost twelve.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled. “Don’t remind me. Okay, let’s do this.”
“Daddy, what are you going to say?” Winnie asked, her hand in mine as we crossed the street.
“I have no idea.”
“I think you should tell her you’re sorry for being a big fat jerk,” Felicity offered as we reached the curb.
I gave her a dirty look. “Thanks.”
“And maybe you should beg for her forgiveness,” Millie suggested. “On your knees or something. That’s what they do in the movies.”
“I think I’ll stay on my feet.”
“Tell her she’s pretty,” Winnie said.
“Tell her she’s perfect!” Felicity shouted.
“Tell her you love her.” Millie grasped the door handle to Coffee Darling. “That’s important. She needs to hear you say that.”
I shook my head. “I’m going to die.”
Winnie giggled. “Not, you’re not.”
Millie looked me right in the eye. “You’re not going to die. You’re going to fix this and get her back—for all of us.”
She pulled on the door handle. It didn’t open. She yanked again, more vehemently, putting two hands into it. “Daddy, it’s locked.”
“We’re too late,” Winnie moaned.
“The hell we are.” Seeing someone with a broom moving around inside, I pounded on the glass with my fists.
I wasn’t leaving here without making this right.