Styxx

Now it was Styxx's turn to frown. "What are you doing?"

She opened her backpack. "Akri got lots of people who celebrate with him, and akri-copy got nobody. That makes Simi sad for akri-copy. Nobody should be alone on their birthday so..." She pulled out a package of Ding Dongs and held them toward him. "We have birthday cake!"

Styxx smiled at the innocent gesture. "I've never had birthday cake before."

"Never?"

He shook his head.

She pressed her index finger to her lips in an adorable expression. "We need candles, but you so old that we'd have to have cakes the size of a ... battleship ... Hmmm ... that's okay." She reached into her pack and pulled out a glowstick. "Less pretend this is one. But you can't blow it out, but we pretend you do. How's that?"

"Sure."

"Okays. Now akri-copy sit."

Styxx sat down across from her while she carefully opened the package and left the cakes on the wrapper. Then she snapped the glowstick and shook it.

"Now you make your wish and blow out the candle." She held the glowstick up in front of his face.

Styxx blew on it.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You didn't make a wish, did you?"

"I don't have anything to wish for." The things he wanted, he couldn't have, and nothing else really seemed important.

"Everybody has wishes, akri-copy."

"I'm not everybody."

OTTIYOi y'VOYa ...

I am Nobody.

Simi took his hand into hers then placed a cake in it. "Then the Simi will make your wish for you. The Simi wishes you will be happy like the Simi and her akri."

He smiled at her childlike wonder and views. "Thank you, Simi."

She touched her cake to his then ate it. "You gots to eat yours all in one bites," she said with her mouth full. "'Cause we gots no candles to blow out, you have to eat in one gulp for the wish to come true."

He laughed in spite of himself and shoved the cake into his mouth.

Simi licked her fingers and nodded. "Good, right?"

He swallowed the cake. "The best ever."

Simi got up on her knees and kissed his cheek then hugged him. "If you want, akri-Styxx, the Simi can love you, too. 'Cause hearts are amazing things. They get lots bigger to make room for new people to love alongside the old people you love." She patted her chest. "The Simi gots lots of room to love you, too ... if you want."

Styxx was amazed by her. His brother had been lucky to have Simi by his side for all these centuries. "I should like that very much."

She hugged him again, and patted his back. "Okay, the Simi have to go now, but she'll be back to see you soon. And remember akri-Styxx that wishes are powerful, powerful things that come true when you believe in them. And the Simi believes you will be very happy, very soon. Bye." Then she was gone.

Smiling over his unexpected visit, Styxx picked up the wrapper and threw it away. He let Skylos back into the tent and still wasn't sure what to make of Simi's appearance. No doubt his brother would have a fit if he ever learned she'd come to see him.

But it had been a nice surprise. No one had remembered his birthday since Bethany had been with him. He wouldn't have even known it was today had Simi not visited. Not that it mattered. At his age, really, what was the point in counting them?

June 25, 2012

"Where the hell's my brother?"

Urian paused his game to stare blankly at Acheron. "You need to modulate that unwarranted ire, buddy. I'm not your 'ho and you ain't my pimp."

A tic started in Acheron's jaw. "Sorry." But his tone contradicted his apology. "Do you happen to know where Styxx is?"

Urian took a swig of his beer. "Am I your brother's keeper?"

"You gave Tory his e-mail. I assume that means you're keeping tabs on him."

Urian clicked back into play and had to bite his tongue to stop his causticity from saying something that would cause Ash to blast him through a wall. "Your point?"

"I've been to his condo three times this month and he's not there. As far as I can tell he hasn't been there for quite some time."

Nice powers of observation, Atlantean god. It only took you what? Three and a half years to realize your brother had moved out?

For that alone, he wanted to punch Ash.

Refraining from that particular level of stupid, Urian cleared his throat. "Maybe we should put his face on a milk carton, see if anyone has information on his location." He frowned. "Do they still have milk cartons? Now that I think about it, I haven't seen one in a while."

"I'm serious, Urian."

"I can hear that," he said, taking his anger out on his online opponent as opposed to his boss. "I mean, damn, how dare my eleven-thousand-year-old brother not be right where I put him three and a half years ago after he did me a huge favor and saved my life and that of my wife. Rank filthy bastard. Inconsiderate dog! Maybe we should take him out back and beat the shit out of him for worrying you so."

"What is your problem?"

Time to kiss the wall.

Urian signed off and removed his headset. Picking up his beer, he faced Acheron. "You know I'd die for you. I put my ass on the line for you all the time without fail or hesitation. Hell, sometimes I'm even grateful you saved my life. But you're not perfect, Ash. None of us are, and when it comes to your brother, you're a fucking prick."

Rage mottled Acheron's cheeks as his eyes darkened. "You don't know my brother like I do."

"Really?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. "When was the last time you sat down and had an actual conversation with Styxx? Oh wait..." Urian feigned a laugh as he slapped his thigh. "I know this." He sobered and those blue eyes pierced Ash with contempt. "You were seven years old at the time. So that's what? You're the same age as my dad ... so that would make you older than shit and shit's great-grandfather ... it would have been only about eleven thousand five hundred and fifty-three years ago, give or take a few hours ... Yeah, you're right, that makes you one hell of an expert on everything to do with Styxx. Why did I even question it? Stupid me."

Ash's cheeks mottled with even more color. "Don't you dare judge me on something you know nothing about."

"Why not? You judge Styxx all the time on things you know nothing about."

"I'm warning you, Urian."

"And I'm suicidal, boss. Fear factor really doesn't play in with a man who doesn't give a shit about life. But ... you know your brother, you say? Fine, expert, then answer me one basic, easy question about him."

Urian paused for effect. "What was the name of his wife? You know, the one you didn't even know he had? He had a five-year committed relationship with her before he died, while you lived in the same house with him and gained all your expertise where he was concerned ... and you know him so well. She's the only woman he has ever loved. Not knowing her name is like claiming to know me and not knowing Phoebe's. For that matter, it's not like he didn't carve her name and that of his son into his arm eleven thousand five hundred and thirty-six years ago."

Ash's eyes turned vibrant red. "He tried to kill me," he growled.

"Yeah, I know, because I do talk to him. About a decade ago in New Orleans. Surrounded by Dark-Hunters, you were wide awake and an Atlantean god with all his powers available to him when Styxx attacked you out of desperation to escape the eternal hell he was damned to. Not quite the same as being a human boy in bed, sound asleep when someone plunges a dagger through your heart and leaves you on the floor, in a pool of your own blood to die alone."

"He was trying to kill his own father. Did he tell you that? Plotting a conspiracy against him and blaming me for it."

"Was he? 'Cause you know, people never lie about shit like that. Ever."

Ash stiffened. "Yes, they do lie, Urian. So why are you believing Styxx when I know what a liar he is?"

Glaring his rage, Urian set his beer aside. "How do you know? You still haven't answered the easiest question on the planet about him ... if you know nothing else about your brother, you should know his wife's name."

Acheron glanced away.

Urian shook his head. When he spoke, his tone was low and chiding. "All those powers you hold and you can't answer it. It was Bethany, just so you know. They were going to name their son Galen, after his mentor who died in his arms when he was a kid. A mentor who gave his life to save Styxx's when someone other than you tried to assassinate him while he was buying his wife's wedding ring. Now let me tell you about the man I know..."

Ash ground his teeth as he struggled not to hit Urian for his blatant stupidity. "I don't want to hear it. And for your information, I'm not the only one who hated him. You have no idea how many people wanted him dead in his human lifetime." How many times I was beaten and grudge-fucked by men who despised every breath he took. Ash flinched at the memories that still burned raw. Because Styxx was the prince, they couldn't touch him. But Acheron was a worthless whore and they paid top dollar to pretend he was their prince so that they could abuse him in Styxx's stead.

That kind of hatred had a basis in something.

Not to mention Ryssa. She was a kind, beautiful, and gentle soul and she'd hated Styxx with every part of her being. "Did Styxx ever tell you that he had no friends ... because no one could stand the arrogant bastard?"

"Arrogant? My God, Ash, you are so blind where he's concerned. Have you ever once spoken to him?"

"I'm out of here," Ash growled.

Urian stepped forward to pin him with a merciless glare. "You leave, and I'll have Tory hold you down to hear what I have to say. Things you need to know."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me ... Because tonight when you lie down in your bed and your wife snuggles up to you and you smile with happiness, I want you to take a minute and imagine in the morning when you wake up in that same bed and reach for her warmth, it's gone. Forever. That you'll never know another minute of having her limbs tangled with yours. Never wake up and feel her body pressed against you. Then imagine going into Bas's room and finding it empty, too. All the plans you had for him, gone forever. Then, I want you to take a minute and imagine the kind of love and decency it took for Styxx to go with me into Kalosis and embrace the woman who murdered them. For you, Acheron. The brother who hates his guts."

Urian paused to let those words sink in. "Now I admit I'm not as big a man as you are, Ash. But I can tell you right now, I wouldn't piss on my father to save the world, never mind hug him to keep my brother from sharing the pain I have every time I think of Phoebe ... which is every other heartbeat. I'm a vindictive son of a bitch. Because after the fit you pitched where you blasted him through the wall just moments before we went down to Kalosis, I would have gutted your mother for what she took from me. And here's another thing you don't know. She whispered something to him before he hugged her, and I have no idea what she said, but knowing your mother as I do, it wasn't kind. Kindness just isn't something the goddess of destruction is known for."

Snorting, Urian crossed his arms over his chest. "And then, after he went down there to save your wife, to keep you from spending the rest of eternity in hell, he took a blade for you from my father. I was there, Acheron. I saw it. No lies. Truth. Yeah, you healed him, and then you turned around and put the man who had just saved your life, and your wife's, completely out of your mind. You turned your fucking back on him. I was the one who took him home that night and you never once asked about him again until today."

Urian sarcastically bit his lip. "Oh and by the way, you forgot to pull the poison out of him when you healed his wound. For two months he lay in a coma, burning with fever and delirium, and I had to get Savitar to come in and help him because when I asked you, you told me he was doing it for attention. So while I love you like a brother, I consider Styxx my family, too, and unlike you, Styxx has no one else in this world. Poor bastard got stuck with me alone. Can you imagine that nightmare?"

Drawing a ragged breath, Urian curled his lip in disgust. "He left that apartment a couple of days after Savitar brought him out of his coma, over three years ago. He saved your life and Tory's, and it took you three and a half years to realize he'd left." He applauded sarcastically. "Good job, brother. Good job."

Ash wanted to hold on to his hatred for Styxx. He needed it. But right now ...

"And you know what I've always found fascinating, Ash? You never once asked me how I met your brother."

Ash looked away as shame filled him.

"It was in Katateros, just so you know. I went out for a walk on the beach and heard something in the temple down the hill from yours. I found him inside, alone in the dark, with scraps to eat, and when I asked him if there was anything I could bring him, do you know what your arrogant bastard brother asked me for?"

Ash shook his head.

"Fresh water. That's all Mr. Selfish wanted. He was having a hard time desalinating the river seawater to drink. Now I know you don't like to eat, but the next time you're home, I want you to take Tory and walk around your island and have her point out the edible foods she finds. There aren't many."

"I assumed one of you was taking food to him."

"You've assumed a lot of things about him that aren't true. Such as telling me that he was in the Elysian Fields for eleven thousand years. He wasn't. Artemis put him on a Vanishing Isle completely alone. No one to talk to, and again with no supplies whatsoever. Not even a hammer."

"That's not what she told me."

"Because Auntie Artemis never lies. Ever. About anything ... such as having an eleven-thousand-year relationship with you that resulted in the birth of a daughter my age. Artemis is the fountain of absolute truth, especially where you're concerned. Her kind, benevolent care for all those centuries was why Styxx didn't complain when you dropped him in Katateros. It was how he knew how to survive there with nothing. But the real question is why did he leave?"

"I assumed he got bored."

"There you go again with the assumptions." Urian dropped his gaze down to the tattoo on Ash's body where his Charonte daughter slept. "Our precious little Simi demon attacked him unprovoked and ... well, she did kill him. But he didn't stay dead, obviously. Now before you call him a liar for that, too, I want you to know he never told me that story. I overheard it from Simi when she was bragging to her sister about ripping apart the bad copy of you who tried to hurt her akri. In fact, Styxx never says a word against you. Ever."

"He told you I stabbed him."

"Yeah, one night when he was really tore up and drunk and I was asking him about some of the scars on his body. As many and as bad as most of them are, the huge jagged one in the center of his chest directly over his heart tends to stand out."

Ash frowned at his words. "What scars?"

"Dear gods, Ash ... have you never looked at your brother? They're all over him. Even his face."

No, he'd never seen scars on Styxx. But as Urian pointed out, he never really looked at him.

Only through him.

"Where is he?"

Urian narrowed his gaze. "Why? So you can hurt him again? Forget it. He's gone someplace safe so that you won't have to worry about him darkening your doorstep ever again."

"Yeah, he's so altruistic with his billion-dollar bank account."

"If you're talking about the money you set up for him when you dumped him off without a second thought? He transferred that back to your account before he left New York. That, too, has been closed for three years."

Sick of this game, Ash glared at him. "You know, I can find him without you."

"You hurt him, Acheron, and I swear to the gods I loathe that I will beat you down for it. For once in your lives, can you not think of him and just leave him alone. It's all he wants. You've already forgotten him for three years. What's another three hundred?"

Those words were harsh. But harsher still was the truth behind them.

Ash swallowed. "I want to talk to my brother."

Urian sighed. "Fine. He's in the Sahara. Literally. Living like a Bedouin. I had dinner with him a month ago and haven't heard anything since. That's all I know."

Inclining his head, Ash left Urian and went to locate Styxx.

* * *

Careful to stay invisible, Ash watched Styxx feed his horse and camel. Urian hadn't exaggerated the horrors of Styxx's meager existence in the least. But for the vivid blue eyes that were ringed in kohl, Styxx would easily pass for a Bedouin. Dressed all in black, he had his keffiyeh pulled over his mouth and nose, concealing his hair and features completely. The only color on his body was the brown sheath for his scimitar and the red agal wrapped around his black keffiyeh. And the two brown leather arm sheaths for the throwing knives they contained.

The horse nipped at the black leather pouch on Styxx's hip.

Styxx laughed. "Ah, you caught me." He scratched the horse's ears and patted her neck. "Yes, they're for you." He opened the pouch and pulled out apple slices that he fed by hand to his horse. "Good, right?" His horse actually nodded and snorted.

The camel made a sound of annoyance. "Don't worry, Jabar. I haven't forgotten you." Styxx went to share some with his other mount.

Once the animals were fed and secured, and after he'd washed off his hands in the small oasis, Styxx headed into a tiny black tent.

Ash followed him in and was stunned at what he found. The "prince" had a modest bedroll on top of a worn-out Persian rug where a big brown dog lay sleeping beside metal bowls of half-eaten dog food, and water. Next to the bedroll was an iPhone on the ground hooked to a small speaker that was playing Disturbed's "Criminal" low enough to be heard in the tent, but not so loud as to drown out the sound of someone approaching outside. A backpack, saddlebags, four medium-sized solar lanterns, one rifle, and nothing else.

Unaware of Ash's presence, Styxx stripped down to his akarbey.

Damn, Urian wasn't kidding. The scars on Styxx's body were horrifying to look at. When, where, and how had Styxx gotten those? And when Styxx squatted in the corner to search his backpack, Ash's breath caught in his throat as he saw Apollo's sun symbol that spanned the entire length of Styxx's shoulders.

As a god, Ash knew exactly what a mark like that meant and all the horrors it entailed....

Fierce ownership.

It was a warning to any god who saw it that Apollo would fight hard to keep Styxx as his slave. And Apollo didn't do that lightly. The Olympian god had never marked Ryssa as his property. He hadn't cared enough about her to do it. For that matter, Artemis had never officially marked Acheron, and they'd been together thousands of years before Tory had freed him.

And as Ash stared at the mark, Ryssa's last day, with her screams of how Styxx had seduced Apollo, took on an ominous tone. While Ash might have been wrong about many things to do with his brother, the one thing he knew for a fact was that Styxx was completely and staunchly heterosexual.

But Apollo wasn't. And if Styxx had fought his ownership, Apollo would have retaliated with a vengeance. Look what the bastard had done to his own people....

His own son.

Acheron himself.

Tory's words about the gods in human form rang with a frightening possibility. He'd always wondered how Styxx could be so vicious to him. How his own twin brother could essentially assault himself whenever he attacked Acheron.

Apollo castrating him made a lot more sense than Styxx doing so. The Olympian would have wanted vengeance on Ash for having slept with Artemis and "defiling" her. The savagery of that attack over Artemis made a lot more sense than Styxx attacking for a woman he couldn't have cared less about.

Putting an apple in his mouth and holding it there with his teeth, Styxx stood up with two bottles of warm water, and a sketchbook and pencils. He sat down on the bedroll without disturbing the dog then opened the water to sip at it. While he ate the apple, he turned to a page in the book where there was a sketch of a woman who sat in a beautiful meadow, holding an infant in her arms. The baby's hand was on her lips as she smiled down at him. Even though it was only a drawing, the love in her expression was haunting.

Ash's gaze went to Styxx's left hand that held his apple and then down to the names of his wife and son that Styxx had meticulously carved into his own flesh.

An ultimate tribute. Not something a man would have done lightly.

The full magnitude of what Styxx had lost and how much his brother had loved his family slammed into him with such force that for a moment he thought he'd be sick.

Styxx set the apple aside and wiped his hand against his thigh then leaned over so that he could draw. Ash winced as he watched the way Styxx had to use his left hand to wedge the pencil into the grip of his damaged right hand so that he could use it. The way Styxx did it said that he was so used to making accommodations for his partially paralyzed hand that he didn't even think about it anymore.

Tears misted in Styxx's blue eyes as he lovingly brushed his fiercely scarred right hand across the page. "Miss you, Beth," he breathed before he began filling in more details. He pushed the book back a bit as he worked, and it was only then Ash realized why.

He was protecting it.

Every so often, a random tear would fall as Styxx worked. Silent and focused, he would wipe it away on his shoulder and keep drawing.

Awed by his brother's heart and talent, Ash sank to his knees to watch Styxx's precise, expert strokes. He'd had no idea that his brother could do such.

Once it was finished, Styxx sniffed back his quiet tears and flipped through the book that was filled with pictures of the same woman and the baby boy at various ages that ranged from newborn to adulthood. It was as if Styxx had created the memories of his wife and child that he'd wanted to have.

Memories that had been stolen from him.

By Acheron's mother.

But what tore out Ash's heart was how much the boy looked like Bas. And when Styxx paused on a drawing of Styxx holding his wife and child, Acheron had to leave.

Sobs tore through him as Urian's words came home to roost and he thought about trying to live without Tory and Bas for even one day. Never mind centuries.

How could I have asked him to save my wife's life and embrace the killer of his own?

Urian was right. He was a fucking prick. And he knew nothing about his brother.

Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, Ash fought for control as he saw the drawing Styxx had made of the boy holding a teddy bear. If he didn't know better, he'd swear his brother had met his son.

Now that he thought about it, even their wives favored enough to be related.

Was it possible that he'd allowed his hatred for Estes and Ryssa's jealousy toward Styxx to infect him so completely and color his own opinions? Surely he wouldn't have been so easily swayed.

Would he?

All the times in his life he'd preached to others that there were always three sides to every event-yours, theirs, and the truth that lay somewhere in the middle.

Yet when it came to his brother ...

Emotions don't have brains. Ash knew that better than anyone.

And as he stood on the solitary dune, looking out at a hot, vast desert, he remembered how much Styxx had hated being alone as a child. How many times he'd sneak into Acheron's room and had been beaten for it. But Styxx hadn't cared. He'd come to Acheron regardless.

Brothers. Forever and always.

Styxx had tried to make amends. He'd reached out and Acheron had slapped him away. Repeatedly. Worse, Ash had walked away from Styxx for centuries and hadn't even given him a single, passing thought.

Not once.

It's amazing the damage we do to ourselves and others when all we're trying to do is protect ourselves from being hurt. How many times had he said that to a Dark-Hunter?

But then advice was always easier to give than to follow.

Needing to set this right, Ash returned to the tent. He stood outside for several minutes, debating the sanity of this.

But he wasn't a coward.

With a deep breath for courage, Acheron opened the tent flap. "Styxx?"

The dog crouched low and growled at him.

His brother was now sitting forward, holding a blood-soaked cloth to his pinched nose while he calmed the dog beside him. "I didn't fucking do it."

Baffled, Ash frowned. "Do what?"

"Whatever it is you're here to accuse me of. I am not a god. I cannot travel from here to wherever you live in the blink of an eye. It would take me a solid week to reach even a modest village." The anger and hatred seared him.

And Ash knew he deserved it. "I came to thank you for the present you sent to Sebastos."

"An e-mail would have sufficed."

"Would you have gotten it?"

"Eventually."

Ash narrowed his gaze as he saw the other two blood-soaked cloths on the ground. "You still get headaches, too?"

"Yes, and the biggest one of all just traipsed through my door." Styxx pulled the rag back to check the bleeding, which was still pouring. He folded the cloth and returned it to his nose. "What do you want?"

Forgiveness. Yet he had no right to ask this man for it. Urian had been right. Styxx had tried to kill him, but Styxx had come at him openly. Hell, he'd even warned him he was gunning for him.

He, on the other hand, had gone at Styxx's back. And both had struck for the same reason. They'd just wanted an end to their suffering.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes," Styxx snarled, "you're an asshole and I'm a bastard. What the fuck is wrong with the men of my family that they always want to interrogate me when I'm in pain and bleeding?"

Ash dropped his gaze to the row of brand scars that ran the length of Styxx's side. They started in his armpit where no hair could grow because of the burn-damaged flesh and vanished beneath his waistline. Even his nipple was severely disfigured. Those unique scars tweaked Ash's memory and brought out a long-suppressed act of stupidity on Ash's part. He cringed as he remembered when he'd seen the scars that covered his brother's groin and thighs in Atlantis.

What did you do? Masturbate with a hot poker?

Instead of punching him as he should have, Styxx had curled into a ball and said nothing. He'd just stared at the wall.

Ash wished he could go back in time and slap himself for that cruelty. It was obvious someone had tortured the hell out of his brother.

And Styxx would have had them as a kid.

Before he went into battle. Only back then, Ash hadn't cared. Lost in his own misery, he hadn't spared three seconds to consider Styxx's.

Just because you have it bad, Acheron, it doesn't mean I have it good. No wonder Styxx had snarled that at him.

Repeatedly. But the scar that really racked him was the one right over his heart. The one Ash had given his own brother ...

"Why are you still here?" Styxx asked. "You wanted me out of your life. I'm out. I'm sorry I sent that damn horse that I didn't want to look at anymore. I won't ever bother any of you again. Just go!"

"Why did you send it?"

A tic worked in Styxx's jaw. "Because I promised you that I wouldn't let anything happen to it, and contrary to what you think of me, I don't break the promises I make."

Ash closed his eyes as pain overwhelmed him. Why didn't I talk to you when you were in Katateros like you asked me to?

Because he'd been angry. Hurt.

Mostly angry.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Styxx."

Styxx gave him an astonished glare. "Oh, okay." His tone dripped with sarcasm. "Glad you got it all off your chest. Ta-ta!"

You are an asshole.

So what if it was justified?

Ash sighed. "Before I go, would you like to see a picture of Sebastos with your gift?"

When those searing blue eyes met his, the raw anguish in them hit Ash like a groin kick. "You think you know pain? You don't. Trust me. I lived your fucking life, remember? I know every single detail of it. And since Artemis had me locked in that hell and I saw why you hate me for no reason and for things I had no part in, it has taken everything I have to not hate you for it, and for what your mother did to me. For everything she stole from me. But if you show me a picture of your perfect, healthy son, I will not be responsible for what I do to you. And before you go Ryssa on me, and tell me how selfish I really am ... I do not begrudge you your happiness or your family. I don't have room in my thoughts for it as I'm too busy grieving for mine. Now go!"

Nodding, Ash backed out of the tent.

He heard Styxx's anguished bellow of unleashed rage. It was the same sound of injustice that rang out whenever a Dark-Hunter had died as a human. It was the sound that summoned Artemis down from Olympus to ask them if they would like to sell their soul to her for an act of vengeance against the person or persons who'd wronged them.

Acheron had never once thought someone would make it because of his actions against them.

And never would he have dreamed it would come from the throat of his own brother. He'd been so wrapped up in his own pain and anger that he'd never once considered Styxx's. From the outside, Styxx's life had looked so perfect.

Beloved prince. Hero of Didymos. Heir to a vast empire.

But a house could look new on the outside and be riddled with termites that ate away at its foundations until it crumbled from the strain of trying to hold itself up under their brutal assault.

And a single smile could hide profound pain.

"I am sorry, Styxx." And this time, he really meant it.

Needing his own sense of peace, Acheron headed for Savitar's island home. Since it was dusk there, he found his old mentor and friend in a black wet suit sitting in the surf beside his surfboard, watching the sunset over the ocean. Leaning back on his arms, he had his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles.

Savitar groaned the minute he saw him. "Grom coming to disturb my mellow. What up, my brother?"

Ash transformed his clothes into a wet suit so that he could join Savitar in the surf. He sat down. Bending his knees and wrapping his arms around his legs, he sighed heavily. "Urian said that you had to pull Styxx out of a coma?"

Savitar nodded.

"What do you know about his past?"

The ancient Chthonian shrugged nonchalantly. "You were his brother. You should know."

"Don't play with me, Sav. I'm not in the mood."

He glanced over at Ash. "I truly don't know more than a handful of details."

"Such as?"

"You know I was the Chthonian for Atlantis so I only know what happened there."

Sav was lying his ass off, but Ash wouldn't call him on it right now. "And?"

"I knew what you did ... that Styxx led his army to Atlantean shores and kicked the shit out of them to the point their gods were forced to make a pact with Apollo before Styxx completely defeated them."

Ash frowned at that. "It wasn't the gods who made the pact, though. It was the Greek kings. They offered Apollo my sister."

"Not exactly."

Ash hated whenever Savitar used those words. It was never good. "What do you mean?"

"It wasn't your sister Apollo really wanted. Styxx had the same unearthly beauty and sexual allure, courtesy of Epithymia, that you did, and Apollo was infatuated with Styxx from the moment he first saw him ... like you and Artemis. The Atlantean gods had to get Styxx off their shores before he overthrew them. They told Apollo what to do to accomplish that. But they all knew the Didymos king would never agree to publicly give his heir up to be Apollo's mister-ess. So Apollo used Ryssa as a ruse to get to and control Styxx."

Sadly, that explained a lot.

And it made Ash's stomach burn with guilt and pain. "Since you were the Atlantean Chthonian, do you know about the other time Styxx came to Atlantis?"

Savitar gave him a blank, cold stare. "Your brother was in Atlantis four times in his lifetime."

Ash gaped. No, it wasn't possible.... "Four?"

Savitar nodded. "The first was as a boy to free you from your uncle. Estes caught him and took him into custody."

"And you didn't stop it?"

"I didn't know about that one at the time."

"What do you mean?"

His gaze tormented, Savitar leaned forward and raked his hand through his damp hair. "Your mother had my powers shielded when you were young so that I couldn't see you or your twin. I didn't know he'd tried to free you until I yanked him out of his coma."

"What made you look then?"

"I saw the word 'whore' in ancient Greek and the Atlantean 'tsoulus' along with your uncle's slave mark branded into his groin. I foolishly wanted to know how he'd gotten it. Let that be a lesson about looking into an abyss."

Ash closed his eyes as pain slammed into him so hard, he could barely think straight. "Please ... tell me you're lying."

"You know better. That was why Styxx assaulted Atlantis like he had a grudge match. He did. Your uncle had kept him and sold him, just like he did you. He even pierced Styxx's tongue ... as did Apollo."

Ash's breath left him in a bitter wave of sympathy. "Since you looked, how did my uncle capture him?"

"Do not ask questions you do not want the answers to."

But Ash didn't listen. "I want to know." He needed to know.

Savitar cut a harsh look toward him. "You should know already, Acheron. You were there when it happened."

"Bullshit!" Ash paused. "Show me."

Savitar shook his head. "There are some memories no one needs."

Still, Ash didn't listen. "Artemis punished Styxx with my memories. She forced him to live my life and instead of it making him forgive me, it's fueled his hatred of me and I want to know why. Please, Savitar. I need to see how he was taken."

"And I refuse to show you," he said harshly ... in a bitter tone he'd never used with Ash before. "Suffice it to say, he would have gotten away had you not dragged your feet, and called out to your uncle to tell him where you were. You could have voluntarily escaped with Styxx, but were too afraid to try. Worse, while Estes held him, you laughed and gloated over what they did to Styxx. Constantly. You threw it in his face the whole time he was in Atlantis with you and you helped to prep him to service the men your uncle sold him to. You even held him down while he was branded as a whore."

Ash panted as that reality slapped him. He choked on denial. "I didn't do that."

"Yes, you did."

Ash shook his head. "I'm not that kind of person, Savitar. I'm not."

"Every man, woman, and child is capable of extreme and utter prejudice and cruelty when they feel justified in their hatred. Right or wrong. We are all capable of lashing out when we're in pain. No one, not even you or I, is immune from that. As Plato said, be kind to everyone you meet for we are all fighting difficult battles. And yes, you thought it was funny to have the beloved prince and heir branded a whore and a slave and sold to the same men who'd paid to fuck you. In your defense, you were young, drugged, and lost in your own hell."

"That's no excuse." Ash blinked back his tears.

"No, it's not an excuse. It's just harsh, biting reality." Savitar let out a bitter laugh. "Ever wonder why the gods created man, Grom? I personally think that we're the original reality show. They were so effing bored that they created us just so that they could feel better about themselves."

"You're not funny."

Savitar sighed."No. Tragedy never is. Our lives are marked and shaped by our regrets. Things we all want to take back and can't. In a perfect world, we would never hurt the ones we love or cause hurt to befall them. But the world isn't perfect and neither are we."

Even so, Ash couldn't forgive himself for the way he'd treated Styxx all these centuries ago. "I'm almost afraid to ask about Styxx's second visit."

"You were there for that one, too."

"When they threw me out." And after he'd purposefully baited and mocked Styxx.

And his father.

Savitar nodded. "By the way, do you know how Estes died?"

"Stroke or heart attack in his sleep."

Slowly, Savitar shook his head again.

An awful sense of dread went through Ash as reality hit him hard. Something he had never thought to contemplate before ...

His brother had been a soldier trained to kill. "Styxx?"

"Yeah," Savitar breathed. "Estes had been planning to sell your sister to an Atlantean prince. To protect her and you, after he'd been viciously gang-raped, Styxx pried loose his restraints to smother Estes in his sleep. And then, riddled with guilt, panic, and fear, he went with the father he hated to Atlantis to free you."

And I insulted him for it. "I didn't know."

"Of course not. Had Styxx breathed a word of it to anyone, he'd have been executed. Brutally. But can you imagine being a boy and carrying that amount of fear and guilt with you?"

No, he couldn't. No wonder Styxx had been so sullen and quiet. Something they had all mocked him for.