Even if I could never love him back.
My kiss with Raff deepened, and as it did, I rolled my black nightgown up so my matching lacy knickers were exposed. I normally went for the elastic, cotton ones—the comfy option—but I wanted to taunt Vaughn. I heard the handcuffs clinking against the metal bars, the scrape of the bed moving an inch toward us, then another inch. I smiled into my kiss with Raff.
“I’m going to smoke this bitch to the goddamn ground. You know I will,” Vaughn hissed, his eyes two slits of ice. “Take a step back right now, and I’ll end this with two shiners and a warning. Let me save you from yourself, Pope, because right now? You’re fucking yourself more than you’re about to do her.”
Raff pulled away from me momentarily, fingering my face with a tender smile. He was a good friend for helping me with this. He had no skin in this game, other than helping me reclaim my pride and power in this twisted power struggle Vaughn had started.
“But Spencer, mate, she is so bloody sweet.”
Pope began to lower himself down my body, kissing a path between my breasts and along my stomach through my nightgown.
“That’s enough,” Vaughn snarled. “Lenora, you made your point. I haven’t received a public blow job in months. Unchain me.”
I ignored him. I knew that in all probability, Vaughn had been completely celibate since arriving at Carlisle Castle, save for our encounters. But in my mind, he was the one who’d brought disaster to my doorstep. Arabella was here because of him.
Plus, there was a slightly deranged theory I’d been nursing privately since I was a kid—one that believed we’d had a special bond, a carnal connection, since that moment behind the fountain, sharing a stupid, half-melted chocolate bar under the pounding sun.
And Vaughn had let dozens of girls suck him off him since then.
He’d betrayed me every time he’d let someone else touch him after the day he’d threatened to kiss me, after showing me the first traces of his humanity, after we looked at each other and knew—knew—anyone else was a terrible mistake. We weren’t coincidence. We were fate. And our bodies—though not our souls—belonged to each other. But he’d broken the pact. Numerous times.
Vaughn wasn’t the only one allowed to make mistakes.
If we were going to need each other’s forgiveness, I had to sin, too.
He’d wronged me many times. I’d wronged him never. Perhaps until now.
He needed to forgive, too.
This was me helping us go back to being screwmates.
I felt the breeze of cold air on my swollen clit as Pope pulled my knickers down. I kicked them aside, and they hit the wall. Raff lowered his face between my legs and took a long, greedy breath.
“Hmm,” he shuddered into me.
Vaughn regarded the scene wordlessly. I looked up from Raff’s mane of wild, blond curls and watched Vaughn watching us. He’d stopped resisting the handcuffs. He simply watched, his jaw ticking.
“What can I say to make you stop?” he growled.
Bargaining. The god who descended to Earth and tried to strike a deal with a mortal.
“What is it that you want, Lenora? Exclusivity? Dinner dates? Your precious internship back?”
“An apology,” I said, unsmiling.
Pope held back. His mouth was so close to my groin I could practically feel it on me.
“For starters,” I added.
“I apologize.” Vaughn spat the word like it was poisonous, taking a few seconds to get used to its taste.
“What for?” I asked conversationally.
“For letting randoms give me head both when you were an ocean away, and a few feet from me. I apologize for bringing Arabella here. I thought she’d be just another pawn in our game. I had no idea she’d fuck your dad. What else?”
I stroked my chin, pretending his words didn’t slice something deep inside me. “No more treating me like I’m your property. We both know I’m your equal.”
“Fine,” he quipped, seeming eager to move on with the plan. “Now kick his fucking face in before I do it from across the room.”
I shook my head slowly, going in for the kill. He couldn’t give me his internship, I knew that, but everything else I’d asked for was already given. That’s why he kept coming back. He couldn’t deny me.
I needed something else. Something big.
“I want to see your secret sculpture,” I added. “Your mysterious art.”
Vaughn closed his eyes, letting out a ragged breath. It looked like he’d been punched in the face. Too far, I thought.
“Anything else, Len,” he grumbled quietly. “Anything.”
“No.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, looking pained, his chest rising and falling. When he opened them again, his expression was dead and hollow. He truly was a black swan.
“Make it quick,” he said, resigned.
“Keep your eyes open, Clockwork Orange style.”
“Fuck you.”
“Is that a promise?” I taunted.
“After tonight? You’ll be lucky if I spit in your direction, Astalis.”
And just like that, Raff’s mouth disappeared between my legs. I threw my head back, shocked by the hot, wet sensation of his tongue as it pried my pussy open, slipping in with confident expertise. He made a moaning sound as he grabbed both my bum cheeks. I propped myself against the table, looking down as he feasted on me.
A whimper escaped my mouth when Pope ran his tongue in circles all the way from the base of my sex to my clit, flicking it over and over again. I trembled, my nipples puckering, my breasts swollen, sensitive, and sore with need. I grabbed one of my tits and squeezed, imagining it was Vaughn, wondering if he would ever do something like this—give without taking.
“Oh, God,” I muttered.
“An angry one,” Vaughn’s metallic voice hissed from afar. “Just remember, it’s me who’s doing this to you, not him. We both know that. That’s who you’re imagining underneath you, Len. Me. Past. Present. Future. It will always be me.”
I wrapped one thigh around Pope’s shoulder, running my fingers through his silky hair. The pleasure built inside me like a hurricane. Every inch of me burned with lust.
“Just like you’ve sucked me off thousands of times.” He continued talking, hijacking this moment with Pope. “From the first blow job till the last, it was you I saw.”
Pope sucked on my lips, hoovering them into his mouth, darting his tongue out and massaging my clit.
“Since that day behind the fountain, we’ve wanted to get our rocks off. We just didn’t know how to name it. Now we do.”
I exploded with a near-violent orgasm, seeing stars, rocking my body back and forth, my groin chasing Pope’s lips, but it was Vaughn’s name in my throat. Wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me. I looked down to see my best friend smiling devilishly at me, his lips swollen and glistening with my cum.
“Delicious.” He swiped his thumb inside me one last time, gathering more of my juices with his eyes still on mine.
Pope was beautiful like a poem. You could read his face every day and still find something new to admire. One day, someone was going to snatch this talented, gorgeous man, and she was going to be so lucky. Luckier than I would ever be, because I was undeniably fixated on Vaughn, the most complicated guy in history.