Guess Mom was like Luna in a lot of ways. We would always be unfinished business. She’d made sure of it.
“Yes,” Dixie croaked. “I have a good job back home. My family has money. But I want to stay here, with you. I want to get to know you. Rosie wasn’t exaggerating. You’re amazing, and you’re mine. I want to know the entire Cole clan.”
I side-eyed her, hard. She shook her head, sniffing and wiping her tears with her thumbs.
“Not like that. Oh, God. Never. I haven’t even…I’ve never…”
Her blush could start a fire. Was she a virgin? I mean, obviously not, she’d had me, but had there been anyone else since the night I was conceived?
“I’ve never had a partner.” She answered my unvoiced question. “I’m not planning on having one, either. I just want to return a favor to Rosie. She trusted me so much, she paid for my accommodation here. She even gave me access to your gated community. But, more selfishly, I want to gain a son. If you’ll have me, of course.”
If I would have her.
Should I have her?
That was the million-dollar question. Because if I was going to let her up and leave everything she knew and move here, I needed to be damn sure I wasn’t going to bail on her ass when things got tough.
“I have a test for you.” I stood up, folding my arms over my chest.
She followed suit, darting to her feet. I tossed the empty slushie cup into a trash can a few feet away without even looking, my eyes still on hers.
Her throat bobbed. “I’m listening.”
“It’s about Luna.”
“Your girlfriend?” she interjected.
She was already doing a great job being a nosy mother. I started strolling along the promenade, and she matched my step, hurrying beside me.
“No, she is not my girlfriend anymore. She broke up with me.”
“Why?” Dixie asked breathlessly.
“Because I was an abusive, drunk idiot. Actually, I was being a real jerk to a lot of people. I hurt another girl trying to get back at Luna.”
“What do you mean, hurt?” Her voice caught in her throat.
I immediately knew what she was worried about. I stopped, putting a hand on her shoulder. Surprisingly, she melted under my touch, the worry evaporating from the creases on her face.
“No, Dixie. Nothing like that. I kind of toyed with Poppy’s feelings, but she pushed hard to stay with me. I didn’t even want to sleep with her, though she wanted us to. So yeah, I hurt her, but not physically.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Continue.”
“Anyway, so Luna dumped my ass. She told me she’d revisit the subject of us after I’ve been sober for a while. But what’s long enough? I just lost my mom. I can’t lose her, too. She is the only thing that matters to me anymore, other than Dad and Lev.”
The charged pause in the air suggested I should add her name. I was nowhere near ready to even consider such an idea, though. Dixie had just passed the threshold between enemy and acquaintance. She had a long way to friend territory, and mountains and rivers to cross before she was family.
“So, what’s the question?”
I stopped walking. So did she.
I turned to face her. “How do I get her back?”
“You want my help?” Her eyes twinkled.
Did I? Hell, yeah, I did. Luna had promised to be there for me, and she was, but only as a friend. She knew I was sober, and she still wouldn’t let me touch her. Kiss her. Feel her.
I got it. I’d screwed up. And she needed to give me an incentive to keep away from the alcohol and everything else. Especially now, when Mom was gone. But hadn’t she heard her own words at the funeral? If you love someone, don’t set them free. Smother the fuck out of them until they realize they have no chance of escaping. Yup. That was the sentiment I was down with, a method I was willing to try.
“Yeah.” I stuck my fingers in my hair. “Yeah, I want your help, Dixie. That’s the test,” I added. “If you help me, you’re in.”
“And if Luna doesn’t respond to your advances?”
I knew she’d asked mainly to know where she stood, that it had nothing to do with Luna and me, but the idea of failing made me want to throw up.
“We’ll discuss it further if that happens.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t agree to this. I’m about to hand in my resignation. So whatever happens, I want you to promise me I can see you twice a week. Consensually,” she added, which made me want to laugh.
No more of her stalking ways.
“If you wanna meet up, I get to choose where we meet,” I clarified.
“That’s fine with me.” She nodded.
“And I get to tell you when and for how long. We’ll need to do things my way.” I stubbed a finger to my chest. “Because your way proved to suck, Dix. No offense.”
“None taken.”
“So what’s your Luna plan?” I asked, getting back to business.
With all due respect to my gaining a mother, I needed not to lose Luna first.
“Give me a little time to form the perfect plan. Meet you at my hotel at eight? We can order Chinese.”
“I hate Chinese,” I deadpanned.
“Sushi?”
“Sushi is Mom’s and my tradition. So, no.”
“Sorry.” Her face twisted in apology, like she was the one responsible for Mom not being here. “How about donuts?”
“Donuts?”
“Donuts will be our thing. You love donuts.”
I said nothing.
“Aren’t you going to ask me how I know?” She grinned.
“Hmm, no. I’m alive, therefore I love donuts. Not exactly rocket science, dude. Carbs and sugar equal oral orgasms.”
“Right. Let me be more specific, then. Your favorite donut is pistachio and vanilla, and you’re partial to plain donuts, too.”
I hadn’t had any donuts in the last few months, so it couldn’t have been something she’d unraveled in one of her stalking sessions. “Now you’re being specific. And accurate. And creepy. How do you know that?”
Although I enjoyed donuts, I also enjoyed having a fucking six pack, and those two didn’t go together. True, I was too young and too active to get pudgy, but Dad and his friends said it’s about forming good habits, so you never find yourself looking sixty when you’re forty.
Anyway, this conversation didn’t majorly suck, so that was an improvement.
“Because when you were in my tummy, you were crazy for pistachio donuts.” She blushed.
I just stared, and continued staring at her, waiting for more.
“And milk. Oh, how you loved milk with your donuts.”
“I drink a gallon a day,” I confessed.
Fuck the haters. I had good, strong bones because of that shit. Also, Dixie was way more bearable than I gave her credit for.
“I indulged you, of course. I got us one every single day. First, I bought a whole thing of donuts in every flavor and took a bite of each. You kicked the holy Jesus out of me when I took a bite of the pistachio. So that’s what you and I had every afternoon. Pistachio donuts with a big glass of milk.”
“That’s…cool.”