It takes a lot for me to elevate my head from his chest to peek at Via’s expression when her brother officially disowns her. His voice is so low and threatening, shudders move down my spine. Via looks pale and panicked in front of him. Her lips are colorless; her entire body limp. She obviously wasn’t expecting Penn to be so mad. She expected him to have her back again. To make excuses for her. To protect her as he does—did, at least—unconditionally.
“Penn, I—”
“Shut the fuck up,” he commands, stalking to the other side of the field with me in tow. He’s holding my hand now. I don’t know why I’m letting him. We’re not together and never will be. Not because he chose his sister, but because he chose to break not only our fling but also my heart. He went with the worst route possible. Hurting me on purpose. And I’m officially done with people who don’t choose me or see me.
Penn stops in front of Gus. I make myself look at the guy because this is my reality, and I need to face it. The entire football team, sans Knight, and the cheer squad surround Gus. His chin is up, and he’s wearing his varsity jacket and a vacant scowl. When he laughs, vodka breath fans across my face even though we’re a few feet away.
“Look what the cat dragged in.”
“Someone who’s about to put a stop to your pussy ways.” Penn fishes out his Zippo from his jeans, spinning it between his finger and thumb. Before I realize what’s happening, Via is standing behind Penn with tears streaming down her face. His teammate—Kannon, I think his name was—is next to us, too. And the Josh guy. And the Malcolm guy. And the Nelson guy…
“Via,” Gus barks. “Get your sweet ass over here.”
Via shakes her head slowly behind me, looking at the ground that’s now wet with her tears.
“Now!” Gus stomps his foot.
Penn takes a step toward Gus. Then another one. They are chest to chest now, and both teams are on edge, glaring at them impatiently, begging for a fight. I look around and see Adriana a few feet away from me. She shifts from foot to foot, clearly nervous about a rematch between us. I give her a tired smile and motion her with my hand to come a little closer. When she does, I grab her hand on instinct and squeeze it as hard as I can in my frail state.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “So sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I was blinded by jealousy and desperate to keep something that wasn’t even mine to begin with.”
My popularity. Penn.
“I’m sorry, too.” She looks the other way, her chin trembling. “I shouldn’t have held on to him with everything that I had. He was never mine to hold.”
I feel a brush over my arm where Penn stood just a second ago. It’s Knight. And next to Knight stands Vaughn.
“Cole?” Gus twists his lips, glowering. “What the fuck?”
Knight clasps a hand on my shoulder, hitching a shoulder up while lighting a joint.
“The fuck is, you don’t fuck with my family and integrity and assume you get out of it in one piece. Or, you know, at all.”
Penn pushes Gus’s chest, and the latter tumbles into Colin’s arms.
“You’ve been spending the past four years taking bets in this place, never once getting your hands dirty. I think it’s time to remedy that. But first, let’s address the fact you are such a bitch, you resorted to trying to ruin Daria’s life because yours sucks ass. You spilled all her secrets. Throwing rocks when your house is made of glass.” Penn tsks, shaking his head. “When your house is made of nothing, actually. Bad call, Bauer. Terrible.”
Penn proceeds to circle Gus dispassionately, separating him from the rest of his crew. After the All Saints players see that Knight and Vaughn are with us, they take a few steps back. Not yet jumping ship, but visibly more wary about giving their team captain a glowing, full endorsement.
“You like secrets, assholes? Here’s a juicy one to keep you entertained. Gus’s mom is a whore. A real, get-paid-for-sex whore.” Penn lets loose a wicked smile, and Gus actually flinches in place, looking away. My mouth goes slack. What?
“Been sitting on this piece of info for four years now, never stooping to his level while he played filthy and tried shooting his mouth off. But now that he touched the only thing sacred to me, he is about to find out that even the sturdiest trunks can snap. Ever wondered why Bauer never throws parties at his crib? Why he never gives out his address? Yeah. That’s because he attends All Saints High on a scholarship. Sleeps in his fucking car. He’d sleep in his house, but it’s pretty busy there with horny fucks coming in and out every hour of the day and night. Oh, shit, I failed to mention—Gussy here is a neighbor of mine. A boy from the wrong side of the tracks, just like yours truly. That’s why he started the betting ring. That’s why he’s been paying off people to rig his games. He is just as desperate for a scholarship as I am. With one significant difference—one of us has talent and a future. The other just killed every chance of escaping here tonight.”
“Ohhhh,” the Las Juntas crowd, which I’m standing in the middle of, taunts, turning their thumbs down in a boo motion toward Bauer. Gus is bright red now, and despite everything, I feel sorry for him. For me. For all of us, really. Vanity cost us every single thing we achieved for ourselves. Our athletic career. Friends. Family. Our love interests.
Gus looks up, recovering quickly.
“Strangers might be screwing my ma. But you, Scully? Your worst enemy is screwing your sister. In every position under the sun.”
“Not my sister anymore.” Penn spits on the ground as he continues to circle him, still toying with his Zippo. “My sister was angry.” He raises his eyes to Via and smiles bitterly. “But she wasn’t soulless.”
I wish he’d stop saying things like that. I wish he’d stop playing with his Zippo.
If in the first act you have a pistol hanging on the wall, then in the following one, it should be fired.
“Penn.” Via runs toward him, but she stops halfway when his body freezes and his jaw hardens into a rigid square. “Please. You don’t understand. Hear me out. I’m sorry, okay? You want a secret? You want dirt? I’ll give you filth that’ll make Daria very happy. Four years ago, when I ran away, I was heartbroken over quitting ballet and leaving you. But I was also heartbroken over leaving Gus. We loved each other,” Via cries out, pushing Gus’s chest as she turns to face her brother. “I thought he was the love of my life. Stupid, I know, but I was so young. We went to the same middle school together. He was my first crush, my first kiss, my first time sneaking out and jumping on rooftops together, defying death. When I came back, I desperately wanted everything I once had back. Getting back together with Gus was a no-brainer. I never realized how much he’d changed in the time we weren’t together, and he went to an all-rich high school and wanted to fit in. And I guess I changed, too. I was so focused on ruining things for Daria, I did it at the expense of gaining a family, and a friend, and my brother back.” Her shoulders slump, and for the first time since I met her all those years ago, Via turns around to look at me, and she doesn’t look like she hates me. She looks tired. Destroyed. She looks exactly how I feel.
“We all have embarrassing secrets. Every single one of us. We’re just happy it’s not our diary on display. My secret? I’ve always envied you, Daria Followhill, and I tried to hurt you as much as you hurt me. With the only difference that you only did one bad thing to me. I did a lot of nasty things, and now I’m more isolated than I’ve ever been before. Even in Mississippi. Revenge tastes like shit. I wish I had known that before I put everything on the line to get it.”