I wrapped my arms around my body and began sobbing harder. “That’s not true.” I slowly shook my head back and forth. “I love you. I don’t care that my parents think we are too young or that we don’t know each other well enough for me to say that. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to help you build this ranch up even bigger and better. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side and fall asleep every night with you making love to me.”
Garrett closed his eyes and then turned away. He walked over to a bale of hay. He sat down and put his head in his hands as he let out a frustrated moan. “Jesus Christ, Emma. I want the same things, but I’m not going to take you here because you’re moving. I’m not going to risk both your future and mine because you’re leaving, and we might not—”
“Don’t say we won’t see each other again! Stop saying that!” I yelled out. I walked over to him and dropped to my knees. “Please, don’t…don’t say that anymore.”
Garrett placed his hands on the sides of my face and gave me a weak smile.
“Okay, I won’t say that again. Buttercup, you have to go with your parents. Your father is right. It’s best if you go to school and get your degree.”
“No,” I whispered.
He nodded his head. “Yes. I won’t let you give up on college and stay here just to be a housewife to some deadbeat cattle rancher.”
I pushed his hands away and stood up. “Why does everyone think they can tell me what I want and what I don’t want? Garrett, you’re not a deadbeat cattle rancher. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met, and I want to build a future with you.”
He stood up and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. Then, he pulled my lips to his, and he kissed me so tenderly. In an instant, I knew he was saying good-bye.
“Emma, you’ll go to college and get your degree, and I’ll wait.”
I tried to shake my head, but his hands were holding my face, keeping me from moving. “Garrett, no…”
Leaning down, he sucked my lower lip into his mouth and gently bit down on it. Instead of it turning me on, it caused me to cry harder.
“I’ll wait for you, Buttercup. I promise.”
I threw myself into his body, and he wrapped his arms around me and held me while I cried.
“I promise, I’ll wait for you, too, Garrett. I love you.”
His hands moved slowly up and down my back. “I love you, too. I’ll always love you.”
Garrett and I sat in the barn, and I smiled as I listened to him making plans to visit me in Austin as much as he could.
“I’m scared, Garrett. It’s such a big college, and I don’t even know yet what I want a degree in. Maybe something to help you with the ranch? Business or something?” I said.
He let out a weak laugh. “Lord knows I don’t have any business sense.”
When I heard Margie pulling up, I jumped. “I’m not ready to leave yet!” I called out.
Garrett slowly stood up and took my hand in his. As he led me out of the barn, I tried to pull him back, but he just smiled and winked at me.
“I don’t…I can’t leave you,” I whispered.
He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. He barely pulled away and whispered back, “You’ll never leave me because you’re forever in my heart.”
I let a small sob escape my lips before Garrett kissed me again. This time, he kissed me like he knew something I didn’t. It was so full of passion that I wanted to beg him to never stop. Then, he quickly stopped and took a few steps back as he raked his hand through his hair again. I smiled because he only did that when he was frustrated or nervous. I was secretly hoping he was frustrated with himself for not making me his own.
I glanced over and saw Billy and Raymond standing there. When I turned, I saw Margie and Peggy waiting for me in the car. I pointed to them to give me a second. I wanted to tell Garrett one more thing before I left. I turned back to face him, but he was gone. My heart began pounding, and I started to walk into the barn, but then I felt someone take my arm.
“Emma, you have to let him go,” Billy said.
He began to lead me back to the car, and I began crying.
“No, Billy, no. He needs me, and I can’t leave him. He needs me.”
I slowly sank down to the ground, and Billy held me in his arms.
“I can’t leave him. I just can’t,” I cried over and over again.
Margie and Peggy were next to me on the ground, saying something about how I needed to stand up.
I wasn’t even sure how I’d made it back to the car.
I cried the entire way home. Margie walked with me as I made my way into the house.
I ran into my mother’s arms. “I can’t leave him alone. Mother, please!” I cried out.
As my mother held me in her arms, she softly said, “Shh…baby girl. I promise you, it will be okay.”
I shook my head as I pulled back to look at her. “No, it won’t. I’m leaving him when he needs me the most. I’m leaving him.”
I had never cried as much as I did the next two days. My father and mother had our house packed up so fast, and before I knew it, I was sitting in the backseat of our car, crying yet again.
“Emma, it will get better. You’re going to meet new people and then start college. Soon, you’ll for—”
My father stopped talking, but I knew he was going to say that I’d soon forget about Garrett.
I looked out the window and whispered, “I’ll never forget about Garrett—ever.”
December 1957
Raymond and Billy went on and on about Austin. I couldn’t have cared less about it. It was too big with way too much traffic. There were people everywhere, and it smelled weird.
“Garrett, are you sure it’s a good idea to surprise Emma? You even said yourself that y’all haven’t talked in over a month,” Billy asked from the backseat.
“I haven’t seen her in almost a year. I want to surprise her, and I’m sure she’s just been busy with school.” I turned and saw Margie staring at me with worry in her eyes. “Marg? Are you hiding something from me?” I asked.
She shook her head as she started fiddling with her skirt. “No, I promise, but it’s been a couple of months since I talked to Emma. The last time, she sounded pretty down.”
I nodded my head and looked straight ahead. The last time I had talked to Emma, she had told me how much she missed me. I’d wanted to tell her that I was planning a trip with Margie, Billy, and Raymond during their Christmas break, but I’d wanted to surprise her.