I brought the plate over to her and set it down, labels in front of each little bite. She didn’t make eye contact with me, and my heart tightened further, the muscles in my chest contracting with growing anxiety. “This one here is the red velvet.”
She plucked it up and took a bite. A surprised sound slid out of her. “It’s chocolatey. I didn’t expect that.”
“Yes.” Good grief, this was about as stilted as it came. Here we go, I needed to just grab this conversation by the spatula and start whipping things together. I took a big breath and said the words before I changed my mind. “Mom, you know Dad is a Super Duper, right?”
Her shoulders slumped, and I thought for a good minute she wasn’t going to answer me. The word that escaped her was quiet, barely above a whisper. “Yes.”
Okay, to say I was surprised she actually admitted it was an understatement.
I took a step back, leaning against the counter. “How long have you known about Dad? Before or after you became a Firstamentalist? Before or after you were married? I don’t understand how you could stay in the church when he’s a Super Duper.”
Slowly she turned toward me, like she was turning to face a firing squad, her body stiff and reluctant. “You already know about your grandmother’s part of it.”
I lifted both eyebrows. “You mean how Yaya and Zeus . . . ?”
She nodded. “Yes, that affair between my mother and the king of the gods caused the curse that I didn’t believe in at first. But it was true, and once I realized that . . .” She closed her eyes so tight the edges were pinched. “I was married before I met your father.”
The words hung between us, and all I could do was stare at the woman who was my mother, but who I wasn’t sure I knew at all.
“What?” I blurted out, unable to keep the word to myself. “What? Who?”
She frowned but didn’t open her eyes, as if she couldn’t bear to look at me. “The doctors . . . they couldn’t figure out what the problem was, but I wasn’t able to carry babies to term. Something about my uterus being heart shaped. I couldn’t do it. We tried all sorts of things. My marriage was falling apart; it doesn’t matter who he was either. He’s been gone a long time.” I realized suddenly that I was about to get the confession of the century. I held on to the edge of the counter for all I was worth.
“I’m so sorry, Mom.”
She finally opened her eyes and gave me a tired smile. “I knew about the supernatural world; how could I not with my mother being who she was? She suggested I go to a warlock for help. Your father . . . he had some . . . small abilities. He was a minor warlock at the time.” Which meant he was a minor warlock now too.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. She’d said it out loud. I thought my heart and lungs would burst with the adrenaline. From the ceiling came a soft sound of a breath being sucked in. I glared sideways at Ernie, and he clamped both hands over his mouth, his blue eyes wide.
“Okay,” I said. “What happened then?”
“He said he could help me carry to term. Except that my husband at the time, he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. He said I was broken.” She put a hand to her head and closed her eyes. “Clark was so sweet, so kind. And I . . . I kissed him when I was still married.”
Double holy shit. I could think of nothing else but holy shit. Suddenly her treatment of me when I’d not officially been done with Roger but I’d brought Remo around made a bit more sense. Guilt being foisted onto me from her past. “You fell in love with him while you were still married.”
She smiled now, the first real smile I’d seen on her since I’d been turned. “Yes, I got a divorce, and a week later Clark and I eloped. He promised me babies, and after some time and trials with the magic, we had you and your brother. Of course, being that happy terrified me. The curse was still in effect, you know. Just like it is for you and your brother. Haven’t you noticed your love lives have been less than . . . normal?”
I thought about Roger, Dahlia, and Tad, and of course the fiasco with Remo and Smithy. I sighed and nodded. “Yeah. I know it. But all of that . . . Why did you join the church of the Firsts, then?”
She slumped into a chair. “I joined the church not long after it was started, when you and your brother were still very young. Because your grandmother pointed out that I wasn’t supposed to have a successful marriage. That if Hera caught wind that maybe her curse wasn’t working, she might decide to do something to you and Tad. I joined the Firsts because they are so—”
“Awful?” Ernie tried to help, and she shook her head. He floated down so that he sat on the counter beside her. She gave him a tired smile, seemingly unbothered by his appearance.
“No, that isn’t why I joined. While that can be true, they are zealous. If I was to make it look like I truly believed in what they taught, I had to be zealous too. I was trying to protect you all. I was trying to keep my marriage intact, and Clark understood. The antagonism between us was all an act, but . . . I got caught up in the false belief that I could truly stop a curse on my own. When in reality I’ve been as miserable as I made the rest of you, so I guess the curse worked still.” She shook her head but couldn’t seem to meet my eyes.
“I never stopped loving you all, but I . . . the Firstamentalists felt safe, but I know that it was a false comfort. I knew it when you and Tad got sick and were turned, and I didn’t know how else to keep you safe but to keep acting like the Firsts were right.” She reached out and touched my face, and I realized I was crying. My mom . . . she walked up to me and swept me into a hug. I pressed my face against her neck and sobbed.