Honey puffs, I hadn’t thought about another door.
“I came back to see you, of course. You’re the only one who could use my services. I have to ask, are you trying to escape?”
I kept my eyes on the prize and the bright-red “Exit” sign that beckoned to me. One way or another I was going to do just that. One last grand exit.
“Is Dahlia okay?” I breathed out past the heaving to keep my lungs and heart working.
“Wonderful. She took the full package. But your benefactor was not pleased you turned me down.”
I paused but didn’t stop. If I lost momentum, I’d never get going again. But my gown was slipping, and I would have to stop to tuck it tight again so my bare bum was not exposed to Merlin and the rest of the world.
“Go away. I told you I don’t want your help.”
“Well, here’s the thing. I didn’t get to plead my case properly the other day; I think I can do better this time.” He held the door open for me.
“Thank you,” I said without thinking.
“Oh, you’re very welcome.” He laughed the words, as if I’d cracked some ridiculous joke.
I faced the stairs; one flight, right to the roof. The hand railing was above my head, but Merlin didn’t offer to help again so I was on my own. On my knees I reached over my head and gripped the metal bar. With my legs and arms working in concert I pulled myself to my feet inch by inch.
Triumphant, I smiled at Merlin while I panted for breath. “See? Exploring.”
“Sure thing, sugar. You know, I saw your husband with his new girl. Blond, blue eyes, big bazookas.”
“She had a gun?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“A pair, actually.”
I whipped my head around only to find him grinning at me. “I like you, Alena. And considering your past, that’s saying something. I quite hate the Firstamentalists I’ve dealt with. True assholes in their condemnation of anything they deem less than them.”
I flushed, knowing he spoke the truth. “I’m not really—”
“I know. I looked you up.” He took a step. “You left them. Very unusual, you know. They have such an iron grasp on their people. But I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re sharp. Quick-witted. And I’ll admit, giving Dahlia your funds was somewhat of a surprise.”
My mouth was dry, and all I could think about was a big ice-cold glass of water to ease the desert that was my tongue. “She’s my friend.”
“Let’s try another tactic.” He paused and took another step so his face filled my vision. “Wouldn’t it be rather apropos to show up on Roger’s, pardon me, your own doorstep, alive and more beautiful than ever? To shove it in his face that he walked away from you and if he’d been more faithful, he could have had the most amazingly beautiful woman in town?” There was a tone in his voice that called to me. Begged me to listen.
I shook my head. “I don’t care about him.”
“He’s going to live off your inheritance, your grandparents’ home, and waste it on a piece of ass who is using him for his money, and you don’t care? You don’t care he’s selling your bakery to fat-nosed Colleen?”
Good grief, it was as if he were inside my head.
I didn’t want to feel his words, yet they burrowed under my skin like tiny biting ants that wouldn’t let me be. They climbed to my brain and whispered that I should at least listen to him. I could do that much while I made my way to the roof. Not like I had a choice anyway.
One step after the other, I climbed the stairs while Merlin made point after point.
“You could take him for every penny. Open your business again. Start fresh. Have a life. Find love. Be everything you ever dreamed of and maybe a few things you didn’t even know you wanted. I could help you do that.”
We were at the top of the stairs, and I was back on my knees. “You don’t understand. I had what I dreamed of. I wanted to be a wife. A baker. A mother.”
“You could still be a mother.”
“Not if I’m a vampire. And that’s what you want me to be, isn’t it?”
He crouched in front of me. “What do you want, Alena? How can I convince you to come with me?” His dark eyes sucked me in, and his words made me believe he was really there for me. If he was a huckster, he was the best I’d ever met.
“I want to be human,” I whispered.
“I can make you look so human, no one will ever know you’re a supernatural under the skin. I can make you fit in like no other,” he sighed, and I leaned into him, putting my head on his shoulder.
The fight slipped out of me. I wanted what he offered: a life and a second chance. I didn’t want to die. I thought of Tad and wavered, knowing I was giving up on any belief I had of going to heaven. Maybe my brother would be able to visit me in hell. Maybe if I lived my life well as a supernatural, I wouldn’t go to hell.
“No werewolf. No vampire. No witch. No mermaid.”
“Something special, then? A one-of-a-kind supernatural no one has seen before?”
I lifted my head. We were close enough to kiss, but I doubted he had that on his mind any more than I did.
“Special?”
“Beautiful. Powerful. Exotic. Cured. And no one will ever know what you are by looking at you.” He smiled, and there was so much sincerity in it I couldn’t help but believe him.
I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the moment on me. This was it. A cold blast of air swirled in from under the rooftop door. Outside lay my death; it might take a few hours, but it would happen. Inside lay my death if I went back to my room. I was caught between the two possibilities, never truly believing there was a third option. I could tell him to take me back to my bed, and I’d waste away over the next few weeks until I was gone, as if I’d never been.