“We lost a child.”
I don’t know why I say it. Maybe I’m feeling oddly vulnerable with him. Despite everything he’s done to me, this man has buried himself in the deepest recesses of my heart. And we’ve been through things together, things that pulled us close when they should’ve torn us apart.
Whatever mood rode us a minute ago, it’s been replaced with something far heavier.
“We will make another,” he says.
It’s such an enchanting thought. To create rather than destroy. That even we are capable of it.
I pull him closer. He moves gently against me, his strokes slow and tender.
There is no question how he feels about me. I’m the one holding back, refusing to give in fully. And I don’t want to. God, I don’t.
After we finish, the king tucks me against him, our skin is damp with sweat. He places a soft kiss behind my ear. “Tonight, you win my queen.”
I haven’t won anything. I can see that even if I hold out, there is no way this ends well for me.
Montes shifts, clasping me in close. “Now,” he says, “sleep.”
And I do.
Chapter 24
Serenity
“Your itinerary is complete.” The officers I met with yesterday are now discussing the peace talks I will be having with the heads of several of the king’s territories.
None of them have broached the subject of last night’s call with Styx. I doubt they will either.
Montes sits next to me in the conference room, his presence dominating the space.
His leg and arm brush against mine as he settles in, and I can’t help but think it’s deliberate. That everything about him is deliberate. And these two casual touches serve to remind me that this monstrous man can make my heart flutter even when his attention is focused elsewhere.
The king doesn’t need to be here, but of course he wants to be. If he can micromanage every step of this process, he will.
I grab the document set out in front of me in an effort to refocus my energy and attention.
“The queen’s tour of the East will begin next week,” one of the officers says.
I lean back in my chair, flipping through the itinerary. We’re starting my campaign for peace in the East. I have to win my own people over before I can consider swaying the people of the West.
Next to me, Montes reads through his copy, pinching his lower lip. One of his legs begins to jiggle. I take the subtle hints of his aggravation as a good sign.
“How did you pick these places?” I ask.
“Your Majesty, we followed your requests—these are the biggest cities or the ones that have the least loyalty to the East.”
Most of the city names I recognize, but some are new. When I get the chance, I will discreetly find a map and plot these places out.
The king closes his copy and tosses it onto the table. “No.”
We all look to him.
“Half of your scheduled visits are in wild country. We’ve long since established that we can’t secure many of these locations.”
“Yes,” the female officers says slowly, “the lack of royal presence in those regions is partially responsible for their fractured loyalty.”
“These are exactly the places I want to be,” I say.
The king stands and shrugs off his jacket. “No,” he repeats.
“Yes,” I say just as forcefully.
The vein in his temple pounds. “Goddamnit, Serenity, don’t test me.”
I stand, my chair screeching as it slides back. “Or what?”
“Or I will lock you in a fucking room where no one can hurt you.”
I take a step towards him. “Are you threatening to put me back in the Sleeper?” I ask, my voice low.
He flinches. So the bastard has some remorse after all.
“I’m not going back in there, Montes. Not ever.”
“You’ve said that before, and then you went back into the Sleeper.” He says it like I chose to return to the coffin. Like I wasn’t forced into it by his own hand.
I step in close. “How dare you. Consider yourself lucky I’m unarmed.”
Before the discussion can devolve any further, the door to the conference room opens, and Marco strides in.
Marco the clone. My skin still prickles at the thought.
It takes him only a handful of seconds to register that he came in at a bad time.
He puts his hands up. “By all means, don’t stop on my account.”
I turn back to the king. “So now that I know about Marco, he’s allowed to join us?”
“He’s my right-hand.” To Marco, the king says, “Have you seen the itinerary?”
“I have,” Marco says, taking a seat near us and kicking his heels up on the table.
That little gesture makes me like him just a smidgen more.
Montes folds his arms across his chest, widening his stance. “And?”
Marco drums his fingers against the armrests. “And I think it’s a good idea.”
I try not to smile. I fail.
The king throws me a lethal glare.
“It’s not safe,” he says, returning his attention to Marco.
“You act like you’re not married to the most dangerous one of us,” Marco says. He juts his chin towards me. “She woke up in a car full of armed men. When she was retrieved, they were all dead.”
I appreciate Marco sticking up for me. He has no reason to. I haven’t been kind to him.
The king frowns at his friend.