I don’t know why I expect a different answer. And I get it. I hurt him, so he hurts me. We’re both just following script. It’s just this moment that I don’t get. Watching him care for me, being tender with me. It’s unsettling enough to expect an answer beyond, I want to make you suffer.
But if there’s another explanation, I’m not going to get it.
Chapter 13
Baths are going to be a problem.
The next day, I stare Pestilence down, the tub at my back, the door at his. The two of us are crammed inside a small bathroom in the new house we’ve decided to bed down in.
Like the last home we stayed at, this one is blessedly empty. And bonus: this house has electricity, which means hot water, which means my ass is getting cleaned.
The only snag is the psycho who thinks that I’m going to run away despite the fact that he’s left me alone in a bathroom before—hell, he’s left me alone in bedrooms and living rooms and kitchens. He knows he’s broken my will to escape him. So I don’t understand why he thinks there’s any sort of need to stay in the bathroom with me.
“Okay, you have to leave,” I say, staring at the giant man-thing across from me.
His arms fold over his golden armor. Horseman code for make me, lady.
“You might not know this, but people don’t watch other people take baths.” I don’t think they do at least. But maybe there’s a whole sexually deviant underbelly to society that I don’t know about. Stranger things have happened—the man in front of me case in point.
“You want a longer leash, you’re going to have to prove it,” he says, his face haughty.
“How about all those other times when you left me alone to go to the bathroom?”
“You were too weak to disobey me,” he says.
“I wasn’t last night.”
He just stares at me.
I throw up my arms. “I’m going to be naked and drenched in water. Do you know how cold it is outside?”
He doesn’t respond.
“It’s cold enough to freeze my tits off,” I answer anyway.
No reaction. Not even a laugh. Figures. Pretty sure his sense of humor is nonexistent.
“Please.” I’m shamelessly resorting to begging.
“Please?” he echoes. “Have you forgotten our history? I begged and you denied.” He leans against the door. “Take your bath, human, or don’t, but I’m not leaving this room without you.”
I seriously consider forgoing the bath. I’m no prude, but I’m not exactly thrilled to by showing the goods to the creature that’s trying to end civilization either.
But in the end, it comes down to practicality. I’m covered in blood and dirt and who knows what other bodily fluids. I’m a biohazard.
Giving Pestilence a dirty look, I turn on the hot water spigot and begin removing my clothes.
He doesn’t have a problem with nudity, I try to reassure myself as I shuck off my pants. I think back to the sight of him buck naked. He doesn’t even know he’s supposed to be embarrassed.
That reassures me only a little.
It’s when I reach for the gauze covering my torso that I hit a snag. Wherever Pestilence tied off the linen bandages, it’s beyond my reach. I tug fruitlessly at the wrappings until the horseman peels himself away from the door.
He knocks my hands away and turns my back to him. I’m about to protest when rrrrrrip, he tears the linen away from my back.
Once he’s finished, he bends to my ear. “You’re welcome.”
I make a face to the wall as he returns to the doorway.
By the time the bath is nearly full and blessedly heated, the rest of my clothes and bandages are gone.
Pestilence’s eyes flick over my body in that same dispassionate way they did before. I could be a lamp, for all his interest.
I should be relieved. If he were to instead assess each imperfection of mine, I might die of embarrassment.
His indifference, however, still gets under my skin. I’m not sure if I want him to be impressed at the sight of my body (ew), or if it bothers me that he feels nothing when he sees a naked woman. Humans have a slew of opinions when it comes to the female body (can’t get fuckers to shut up about it), and Pestilence’s lack of reaction only serves to remind me that he’s something else.
I step into the tub, the water blessedly hot. I sigh as I sink into it.
On the other side of the bathroom, the horseman sets aside his bow and quiver, leaning the weapons against the nearby wall before resting his head against the door. His gaze crawls over me, not crude or creepy, but curious and mildly interested.
I wonder if this is all strange and new for him. Women, nudity, bathtubs, running water—the whole shebang. He’s not just some person who’s been born into this world and takes all these things for granted.
I sink deeper into the water, soaking in the water’s warmth.
Been so long since I took a decent bath.
Most of the time it’s an icy dousing that I have to rush through before I catch my death. Tonight I’m going to stay in here until my fingertips look like prunes.
“Where are you from?” I ask idly.
Pestilence’s eyes narrow. “Elsewhere.”
Of course he is.
I grab a bar of homemade soap and a nearby folded washcloth, and I begin to wash myself off, starting with my toes. I make my way up my body, scouring my skin until it feels raw and clean. Bits of blood and dirt slough off of me.
There’s no shampoo or conditioner—not terribly surprising, considering they’re extravagances—so I lather my hair with soap, scrubbing it the best I can with my fingers, knowing full well it’s going to feel funky once it’s dry.
Better than dirty, I suppose.
It’s only after everything else is clean that I reluctantly attempt to wash my back. As soon as the cloth scrapes against my back, the wounds cry out. Unfortunately, that’s not even the biggest issue I have. There’s a good portion of my back that I can’t reach, no matter how hard I try.
And I’m trying my ass off.
I hear the clink of metal as Pestilence moves.
I eye him warily as he kneels next to the tub. He takes the washcloth from me, and one of his hands grips my shoulder, causing me to tense up.
He looks me in the eye. “I’m only doing this because your weak attempts at hygiene are painful to watch,” he warns.
My lips part, but before I get the chance to speak, he grabs the back of my neck. “Bend forward.”
I hesitate, annoyed at the way he’s treating me, but eventually I do lean forward, wrapping my hands around my calves.
His fingers brush my damp hair aside, the touch sending goosebumps down my arms.
It’s just the chill air, I tell myself.
I clench my teeth as Pestilence begins to clean my wounds, his touch surprisingly gentle. It hurts anyway.
“How easily your kind breaks,” he murmurs as the washcloth makes another pass over my wounded flesh.
It’s the closest he’s going to come to an apology, and I guess it’s good enough. I mean, at least he didn’t try to kill me like I tried to kill him.
Only because he wants you to suffer.
Once Pestilence is done, he gives me back the washcloth, then returns to the door, sitting with his back against it. He grabs his bow and rests it on his lap, once more the prison guard.