Blake puffed out a plume of air and his eyes searched hers. “We’ve considered all the factors. NOAA doesn’t make the decision lightly. We all want the dolphin to return home to the wild, if that’s possible. The decision is still out, pending how well she heals. And,” he added soberly, “brace yourself. There may be a fourth problem. Delphine is not progressing as well as they’d hoped. She is not eating well and is increasingly listless.”
Carson was taken aback. “How long have you known this?”
“A few days.”
“And you’ve waited until just now to tell me?”
“I didn’t want to upset you. We were all hoping she’d come around.”
Carson tried to picture Delphine—her curious eyes, her persistent friendliness—listless and injured in some strange holding tank. She felt her palms go clammy and drops of perspiration formed on her brow. She swiped the moisture away, cursing the humidity.
Blake said, “Some dolphins become listless because they’re in an unfamiliar environment, and sometimes there’s an underlying medical cause—but we don’t know for sure what is going on with Delphine. In the end they may need to transfer her to another facility.”
“They can’t,” Carson cried. She rose to pace the room, horrified—threatened—by this new development. “I don’t get it. Why did you take me out to see the wild dolphins? You showed me how much better it was for them to live in the wild, to socialize, to hunt. Now you’re telling me that they won’t release Delphine back into the wild? That they’re putting her into a facility? And you’re going to go along with that? She won’t understand why she was put there. It’s too cruel.”
Blake reached out for her. “Carson.”
“Don’t touch me!” she exclaimed, lifting her hands into an arresting position. “I don’t understand why you’re letting this happen. You’re with NOAA. You can stop this. You can make them bring her back here.”
“No, I can’t. I don’t have that authority. And even if I did, I wouldn’t.”
“Why not?” she said through clenched teeth.
“Because it’s always got to be what’s best for the dolphin.”
She sputtered as she bit back her words. She wanted to shout at him that she hated him, but of course she didn’t. She hated the situation. She hated her role in it. She hated to see Delphine in this state of affairs.
But she still couldn’t bear to look at Blake, to be in his proximity. She had had it with his rules and regulations, his inability to understand her relationship with Delphine. His insensitivity. She was done with him, done with all of it. She stopped pacing, feeling once again the walls of the room closing in on her. The old panic built in her chest and all she knew was that she had to get out of there.
“I need to be alone for a while,” she said. She jerked her arm toward the door. “Please, see yourself out.” Carson turned and hurried from the room, despising herself for her emotional outburst. She rushed through the humid house, desperate to get outside and into the fresh air, to regain her composure. She had to get to the water.
The sky over the mainland was like a purple wall of rain. On the island it was still sunny. Bolts of lightning ripped the clouds, followed by the low growl of thunder. In contrast, it was still blue-skied over the islands. Carson ran down the dock, her heels hitting hard, thundering on the wood. Once on the floating dock she tore off her clothing to her bra and underwear and stood perched, her toes dangling at the edge.
Carson took deep breaths and calmed herself as shafts of sunlight pierced the water. From the depths, along the moss-covered pilings, she spotted a long, dark shadow. Her heart skipped as she instinctively thought of Delphine. Stepping closer to the edge to peer over the dock, Carson searched the waves. She saw nothing out of the ordinary, merely the rise and fall of a living, breathing body of water.
Something indescribable happened to her when she stared into the blue depths of the ocean. She could feel her anxiety slowly drain from her body. It was akin to pushing a delete button on the litany of worries she’d stored in her brain. Before long her breathing matched the rise and fall of the gentle waves. Her thoughts grew calm and rational.
The sea was, she knew, home to countless living creatures. Small fish darted between the safety of the pilings, nibbling algae. Along the shoreline the black, pointed tips of the oysters, one on top of the other, formed a dangerously delicious, barbed bed. Staring at the sandy bottom of the cove, she wondered if she’d imagined the dark shadow.
Carson wrapped her arms around her chest and chewed her lip in thought. How long would she stand trembling at the edge?
She remembered Mamaw’s words to her. You’re the strongest girl I know. She recalled the brazenly bold, self-assured look of her ancestor, Claire, in the portrait. Finally, Carson thought of her mother, and the courage it had taken for the young woman to travel alone to America to start a new life.
She had to find that courage within herself again. Sure, she was still scared of the dark shadows in the water. She’d be a fool if she wasn’t. But this sea was her territory, too. Over five hundred million years ago we all called the sea home. Our bond to the ocean was personal. The connection flowed in her memory, deeper than her mother’s milk.
Standing on the dock, Carson shook her legs, feeling the blood flow. She felt the sun on her face as she lifted her arms over her head, then marked a spot in the water. She took a gulp of air, that one act defining the major evolutionary difference between her and the fish in the sea. Yet it was that same need for air that bonded her with dolphins. Carson dove into the water. The cool liquid enveloped her, welcoming her.
Home, she thought as her arms stretched wide and her mouth released a stream of bubbles. Kicking hard, she burst to the surface, gasping for air. Drops of water ran down her smiling face as she thrust her arms forward and kicked again, hard. One stroke after another, she swam without pause against the current, heady with triumph. She swam straight to Mr. Bellows’s dock and rested, feeling her arms tired after so many days without exercise. I made it, she thought exultantly. She looked at the Sea Breeze dock, marking it, gauging the distance. Now to return.
Pushing off, she began her swim back. She took it at a more leisurely pace, enjoying the sensation of stretching her arms as far forward as she could, feeling the sun on her face. She imagined Delphine swimming with her, saw her eyes eager and bright, curious about what adventure was next. She felt the dolphin’s energy radiating through her. These waters held memories, Carson realized, and in that shining moment she knew that Delphine would always be with her.