“I’m angry too, Presley. I’ve lost everyone.” She’s sobbing now. “He tore a hole in my life too. I’m dealing with the same emotions. I just want you back here. I want my best friend and my sister back.”
The agony in her voice breaks me. Hurting her is the last thing I would ever want to do. “I wish it were different.”
“I wish a lot of things.”
We both sit quietly, coming down from the emotional outbursts and raw truths.
Angie clears her throat. “How’s Bell Buckle? Are you holding up okay?”
“It’s . . . the same.”
“How do the boys like it?”
I smile. “Surprisingly well after the shock wore off. They’re loving being around Cooper and Wyatt. Cayden has really taken to the horses. And you know Logan, he’s easy.” That’s the one thing I have to be most grateful for. They may have lost their father, but they’ve gained two male role models.
“Wyatt is on your ranch?”
Shit. “Yeah, he’s the foreman.”
I can imagine the wheels turning in her head. I give her five seconds before the next question comes.
Five.
Four.
“What about Zach? Is his stupid ass still in Los Angeles or wherever the fuck he left you to go?”
Angie is not a fan of Zach. She’d have castrated him if she could’ve back then. He has no clue about the mess I was in. But Angie does. She picked me up off the floor and forced me to live. “Zach’s here.”
“Well, I hope you kneed him, slapped him, or some other form of physical pain. It must’ve been great to let it out on him though.”
“Yup.”
I can’t tell her what I’m feeling. It feels like every part of my life is lying to the other. The tangled web is so immense—I don’t know where the beginning is anymore. The lies about how Todd died. The lies about how seeing Zach makes me feel. The lies about how badly I’m in debt. It’s suffocating me.
“I gotta run, Ang. I’ll call soon. I promise.”
“Okay,” she says with disappointment in her voice. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I disconnect the call and wipe my face. I’ve never kept secrets from her. I’ve never lied to her, but this isn’t something I can share. I don’t even know what it is anyway. I have old feelings. That’s normal. I mean Zach was my first love. He was my world for so long, of course seeing him would make me nostalgic. That’s all this is.
Of course my mother asks me to head into town to get her some things she needs for dinner. Apparently, she and Wyatt are in on the same plan. Push me off the ranch and force me to deal with living here. I was doing fine pretending otherwise.
I head to the general store, which is no bigger than a 7-11 but packs more items than a major chain grocery store. It baffles me.
I grab the things I need and head to the register. “Well,” Mrs. Rooney says as she looks up with a smile. “I was wondering when you were going to come see me.” She comes around and draws me in her arms. “Get over here and let me get a look at you.”
She hasn’t changed much. She’s still under five foot, her hair still hangs to her mid back, only now it has a lot more gray in it, but it’s her eyes that I remember most. She has the kindest eyes. One look and I instantly feel better.
“I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner,” I say, hugging her back.
Mrs. Rooney was the only one who didn’t try to hold me back. She was easily my favorite person in this town. I can remember coming in here as a kid and sitting on the stool and telling her everything. She was the kind of friend that you could bare your soul to and she’d never judge you. I feel guilty for not coming to see her before now.
She pulls back with a smile. “I understood why you’ve stayed in hiding, darlin’.”
“I’m not hiding,” I defend myself.
“No? What do you call a month of living here and only leaving your house a handful of times?”
“Adjusting.”
Mrs. Rooney laughs and shakes her head. “You’re something else. Your mama talks about those two little boys constantly. Tell me how old they are now.”
I fill her in a little bit more about my life. She tells me how her husband took a bad fall and broke his leg. She’s been working extra hours to help out. I tell her all about the boys, Philadelphia, and my bakery—all the good things.
However, the elephant in the room is only growing with each passing minute.
“Presley,” she says in a soft voice. “I’m really sorry about your husband passing.”
My lips form a thin line. It’s like every time someone else brings it up, I’m forced back there. Grief is a never-ending battle that drains you of who you once were. I’ll never be the same person I was five months ago. I’ve been forced to toughen up, face life head on, and protect myself at all costs.
“I appreciate that.”
“What happened, honey? You’re so young to have such great loss this early in life.”
I force out a laugh to avoid the question. “I don’t feel that young. I remember everyone saying that your thirties are the best years. I’m thirty-five but feel seventy.” I hope she doesn’t pick up on the deflection. She’s one of the few people I don’t want to give a half-truth. At the same time, it’s the only way to protect my kids, and myself.
“Wait till you’re sixty!” She grins. “Did you see that Zach is living here too? It’s like fate brought you back together. Oh he’s with that Felicia who is still the same scheming girl she always was.” She gives a dramatic sigh. “Have you seen him at all?”
The phone rings, giving me the perfect excuse to not answer her. She hops up and tugs me into her arms again before pushing back to take a look at me. “You always were a pretty girl, but you sure grew to be a beautiful woman. No matter how old you feel, you’re still gorgeous.”
She heads to the back to grab the phone, and I place a twenty on the counter. This place is so different from the city. It’s much more forgiving here. They don’t worry about money because everything is the I’ll-get-you-later mentality.
“You know she’s right,” the voice I’d know anywhere says from behind me.
I turn, grabbing the bag of groceries. “Right about what?”