The space between us closes as we gravitate to one another. The anger, the emotion, the frustration of seventeen years comes to a head. “You think I wasn’t?”
“Please enlighten me on what you could’ve been mad at.”
Zach’s face inches closer and closer. The heat in the car rises as the conversation intensifies. His eyes tell me everything. There’s a war raging inside him, and I’m about to be his first casualty.
“I was angry with myself.” His voice is low, but his words aren’t. “I watched your face disappear, and with each mile between us, I hated myself. I never got over that. I’ve looked back every single day, wondering why.” Our breaths mingle as I listen to things I’ve longed to hear. “I wanted to come back to you. It’s why I sent letters when you wouldn’t answer my calls. It’s why I went to Cooper, Wyatt, or anyone who would talk to you. But you—” He stops. My breathing stops as I wait for him to continue. “You didn’t care. You were dating and getting engaged like we never mattered.”
“What did you expect? For me to wait around until you decided I was worth it?” I try to scoot back, but he follows.
“I thought . . .” He runs his hands through his hair. “I thought you’d give me another chance. I didn’t think you’d move on so fucking quickly!”
I see the anger in him for the first time. “I didn’t betray you, Zach. I didn’t choose someone or something else over you.”
“No?” He laughs. “You chose him over me. You got married and never even gave us another chance.”
My mouth falls open. He has no idea. “Don’t you dare judge me. I was alone in a college that you chose for us . I followed you everywhere, Zach! I gave up the college of my dreams for you. Then you get an an offer within the first two months that I got there, and less than twenty-four hours later, you’re driving off. I loved you so much that I thought my heart was dead when you left! I needed you.”
“And I needed you!” His hands grip my cheeks and I hold on to his arms. “I needed you, Presley. I’ve always needed you. I’ll always need you.”
Before I can respond, his mouth is on mine. He kisses me without any apologies. I can’t think. Everything becomes foggy as my heart beats uncontrollably. How can this be happening? I’m confused as to whether I want this or not. He clouds my judgment. His touch is all consuming. I don’t know when my brain disconnects from my body, but I kiss him back. It’s soft and rough, slow and quick, all at the same time. My lips tingle as he holds me still.
When his tongue presses against my mouth, I snap. No! No, I won’t do this. I will never let him in again. I can’t endure losing anyone else. He had his chance and he threw me away.
I push against his chest as his eyes lock on mine. I’m filled with anger at him, but more so at myself. How could I let him kiss me? More than that, how could I kiss him back? Damn him for doing this to me! I’m a widow. I’ve lost my husband, my home, my life. I’m not about to go messing things up any further.
My hand rises, and I slap him across the face. “Don’t ever do that again. You don’t get to kiss me.”
“I don’t . . .” He looks away with shame. “I should’ve never done that.”
“No,” I say with a shaky breath. “You shouldn’t’ve.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Take me home, Zach.”
“Please,” he begs. “Forgive me.”
“Now.” I turn in my seat and close my eyes. If I can hold myself together for a few minutes, I can lose it later.
“Why the fuck do I keep screwing up with you? It’s so easy to forget how much you hate me.”
My fingers press against my lips as guilt overwhelms me. All I could think when he touched me was how much I’ve missed that feeling. The way a man’s mouth felt against mine. I’ve been lonely, and hating him is the absolute last thing I feel. I’ve never hated him—not even when that was all I prayed I would feel. I’ve loved him my whole life, and there’s a part of me that knows that will never stop. “I just want to go home.”
He puts the truck in drive and doesn’t say another word. I keep my gaze forward as we approach my house. As soon as we get there, he parks. “Presley, I’m sorry.”
There’s nothing to say, so I keep quiet. If I were to speak, he’d hear it in my voice. I won’t let him see how much he’s rattled me.
But he has. He’s rocked me to my core. That kiss reminded me of how much I truly love him. How my world clicks with him, and how much power Zachary Hennington has over me.
I hop out not caring if I get drenched. In fact, I welcome the rain. At least it’s real. Unlike anything Zach and I could ever have. I’ve been left by him once before. It’s a recurring theme in my life, it seems. I can’t be vulnerable now, and that’s exactly what Zach makes me.
Zachary
K ISSING HER AGAIN SOLIDIFIED IT. I’ve never stopped loving her. I knew I never had, but now there’s no way I can deny it.
I’ve moved on in some ways, but Presley . . . she’s everything.
Even with her throwing things at me, slapping me, and being angry right now . . . I don’t care, because she’s here. She’s the reason I haven’t been able to move forward in my life. I’ve tried to live, love again, but it never compared.
She fucking ruined me.
I sit in my truck outside her house and let my head fall back. What the hell am I going to do now? She clearly doesn’t feel the same way. No, Presley still hates me.
“Fuck!” I slam my hand on the steering wheel. “Dammit, Zach,” I say to myself. “You can’t go there. You can’t think of that woman, because you don’t have a chance. You blew it.” I say the words I need to remember. “I’m so fucking screwed.”
“Yeah, you sure are.”
I jump at the sound of my brother outside my window. “How much did you hear?”
“All of it. You must like talking to yourself.” Wyatt opens the passenger side door and climbs in. “Next time try words of encouragement. I hear that makes people smarter.”
“By all means,” I grumble. “And fuck off. You’re the one who keeps making these situations happen.”