“I can’t—” My breathing comes rapidly and my heart pounds. “He must be so alone.”
“He’s going to be okay.” Zach tries to reassure me. “We’ll find him.”
“You don’t know that.”
“We’ll find him, Presley.”
I shake my head because he can’t guarantee anything. I know he wants to help, but with my luck . . .”Don’t make me promises, Zachary. You’ve broken them before.”
“I won’t break this one.”
We get to my house faster than I could’ve imagined, or maybe it just feels that way. I jump out of the truck and Zach follows. My father is waiting at the barn.
“Daddy!” I rush toward him.
“It’s going to be okay, sugar.” His strong arms cocoon me.
“What about Logan?” I look around as my breathing turns even more erratic.
Daddy holds my shoulder and touches my cheek with his other hand. “He’s upstairs with your mama. He’s okay, but worried.”
I look and see Mama in the window. I start to head inside, but she shakes her head and puts her finger to her lips.
“Let him sleep,” Daddy says quietly. “We’ll find him, Presley. Cooper, Trent, Wyatt, and all my ranch hands are out looking now.” My father has always been so confident, but even he looks a little shaken.
I can’t stand here any longer. If Logan is safe, then I have to focus on Cayden. I need to go look for him. “We’re heading out too.”
“I figured as much. I had the horses saddled with the gear you need. There’s another group of us going in twenty minutes to take a different route.”
I take off running toward the barn. Zach is on my heels as we both know there’s no time to waste. “Are you okay to ride?” he asks.
I mount the horse and glare at him. “Let’s go.”
“All right.”
We head out toward the area they’re in. It’ll take us about a half hour to get close. My nerves are frayed as I think about the time we’re wasting. But it’s much easier to get through this area on horseback than in a car. I don’t say anything to Zach. A part of me doesn’t even realize he’s with me. I just want to find my son.
Finally, we get into the general area around the falls where we usually camp. “Presley!” Zach calls from behind and comes alongside me.
“What?” I ask as the adrenaline pulses through me. “We don’t have time. We have to find him.” My words come out like bullets as I spur my horse forward, but he grabs the reins.
“Stop.”
“Let go,” I say between gritted teeth. “This is my son!” I don’t care about anything else. Standing here and talking is wasting time. I want to find Cayden. I’m so stupid to have let him go on this trip. I should’ve known that Cooper and fucking Trent couldn’t handle them.
“You need to stop. We need a plan. Think for a second.”
Part of me wants to knee him in the balls, but he’s right. If we start wandering through the woods, we’ll never find him. “I don’t know what to do,” I say feeling more helpless than ever.
“Where would he go? What does he like?”
I try to focus on what he asked. I don’t know what the boys saw during the day. I’m not sure if they went along any special trails, but Cooper and Trent probably checked those first. What else is out here? Logan would follow an animal, but Cayden has always loved the water. “The falls!”
Zach takes off ahead of me, ducking and turning, avoiding the trees and branches. My horse follows him, and I focus on not losing him. My father put lights on the back of our saddles, so I can see a dot. “Cayden!” I call out as I ride. Hoping he hears me.
I can faintly hear Zach doing the same.
We ride for what seems like forever until I can hear the rushing water. I slow down and shine the flashlight, calling out, “Cayden!”
“Go to the right, I’ll take the left,” Zach instructs.
I search all over the falls area. The full moon is bright and helps illuminate the normally dark woods.
“Please, Cayden!” At some point my screaming becomes sobs. I’m tired, weak, and emotionally done. I won’t quit though, not when my baby needs me. But my tears fall as I search for my son. “Cay!” I need him so much. I don’t care that he’s been angry or defiant, I just want him in my arms. “Cayden, please, Cayden.”
Zach trots over and hops off his horse. He holds my waist and helps me down. “Look at me,” he commands. “I’m going to find him.”
“He must be so scared.” I hold on to his arms as I tremble. “This is my fault! I shouldn’t have let him go.”
“This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.” He grips my face, and I hold his wrists. “You have to be strong. I know you’re scared, but trust me, Presley. I’m not going home until we have him safe, okay?”
I believe him. He says the words with such authority, I know he means it. He presses his lips to my forehead before releasing me. “I can’t lose him, Zach.”
“You’re not going to.”
I pull myself together and muster whatever strength I can. Where else could he have gone? There are so many trails. Zach and I both drink some water, and he calls Wyatt. They talk about the areas they’ve searched and our search party is now the entire town of Bell Buckle. Everyone is out on their horses, four wheelers, and trucks searching for him.
Zach hangs up the phone. “Let’s follow the creek. If he likes the water it would make sense to think he would stay close to the water.”
I’ve lost the ability to make decisions right now, so I nod and pray that Zach will find my baby.
W E RIDE AT A STEADY pace, calling his name, and looking for anything that would give us a clue. Zach checks in with the rest of the searchers, so far nothing. It has to have been at least two hours of riding down this creek. My hope drains with each passing minute.
Worry grips my throat, choking the life from me. I can’t manage anything except short breaths.
I wonder if he’s sleeping, cold, scared, or if he’s hurt. Memories assault me one by one. The way he felt in my arms right after he was born. Holding his tiny little hand with my finger. How he sounded when he said “Ma” for the first time. I remember the way he would look at me when he would do something wrong. Cayden was always the more mischievous one, but he was so cute, I couldn’t be mad for too long.