The irony is laughable.
“You make sure you ride Shortstop really hard, but don’t let it get too bumpy.” Wyatt smirks as if he read my thoughts.
“Jerk.”
“Been called worse.”
I hear Zach’s chuckle, and I stick my tongue out at Wyatt.
“So mature.” He laughs before slapping my horse’s butt, causing him to rocket forward.
The barrel racer in me comes to life. I lean forward, allowing the speed of the horse to flow through me. My heart rate increases with every step Shortstop takes. I give myself this minute. The wind whips my long brown hair, my smile is wide, and my eyes finally feel like they can see the world again.
We approach the tree line, and I remember that there’s no way in hell we can fly through there. I turn Shortstop to return to Zach and Wyatt. My chest heaves, yet it feels so good.
It’s liberating.
“Nice try on getting the horse to take off.” I smile as I come up next to Wyatt. “You forget I happen to know how to ride.”
“I figure little by little we’ll get our cowgirl back.”
“I’m about as back as I’m ever going to be.” I look at Zach as he sits on his horse looking intoxicating. His confidence and ease make his presence known. His eyes don’t stray from me—making me feel like I’m the only person who exists.
For once, Wyatt is quiet, or maybe we just don’t hear him. Because right now, all that I can see, hear, and feel is Zachary Hennington. I don’t know how I can resist him, if I want to, if I should, but being here right now tells me I know what I’ll do. I think he knows it too.
“Well.” Wyatt claps his hands loudly. “I’m going up to start, you know . . . working. You two have your silent staring contest and bring up the herd from the back. Vance and I will lead.”
I draw in a deep breath and nod. “Ready?” I ask Zach.
Instead of answering, he moves forward. “Take a swing, Pres. What’s the worst that happens?”
“You hurt me.”
“I won’t.”
“I don’t think you will on purpose, but you don’t know what the future holds.”
Zach lets out one short laugh. “I do though. I know that every part of my future includes you. When you came back into town, it was like my world settled. You were always supposed to be a part of my life, but I wasn’t ready for you then.”
My heart aches and hope blooms deep within me. Could it really be that we were not ready back then? They say everything happens for a reason, maybe we couldn’t have made it work, and that was our sign. It still doesn’t answer whether I’m ready to open myself up. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
“Hey,” he says, drawing me out of my mind. “No answers now. Just know that I’ll wait for you.”
Zach winks and rides off toward the cattle. I look to the sky and close my eyes. “Why can’t you send me a sign?” I ask whoever is up there.
I pull the reins tight and head toward the guys. It’s time to work. I have at least nine hours for deep reflection today.
It takes about an hour to get the cows to actually move where we want. They’re slow today. Bringing up the herd is a little more difficult, but Zach and I work well together. Each straggler gets pushed to the pack, and we find a rhythm.
I’m grateful for the fifteen or so cows between us. It gives me time to my own thoughts. I wonder if Zach is ready to even take on two boys who recently had their world crushed. They’re not going to be easy to win over. They loved their father very much, and they have a lot of residual issues.
Wyatt falls back and catches my attention. “I need you over on the left.”
“Huh?”
“The left. Zach needs a little help.” He smirks at his own joke.
Sure, he does. “He’s just fine.”
“Well, I’m the foreman and I say go on the left.”
“I’m the owner’s sister.”
He narrows his eyes. “I’m still your boss.”
“The hell you are. Why are you doing this?” I ask.
“Because you’re stubborn. You have a good man who loves you right in front of you. And you’re going to spend the next however many hours talking yourself in and out of this aren’t you.” His brow rises. “That’s what I thought,” he tacks on at the end.
I sigh. He doesn’t get it. I don’t know how anyone can because this isn’t cut and dry. “So you think letting him push me is the right thing?”
“I think you’re both scared. He knows that you lost your husband, and you have Cayden and Logan. He’s aware of what all of that means. I made damn sure he did. Did he fuck up when he was a kid? No. He was given the promise of a big ass check and a chance to play ball for his life.” Wyatt stops, giving me a chance to swallow that one. In the back of my mind, I’ve always known that. But the broken woman in me wouldn’t accept it. Wyatt doesn’t know everything. “If you’d rather give another Hennington a chance, I’m always here.”
“You and I would never work. You know that,” I say gently.
“I know. You’ll always love Zach, so why are you still over here? Go love him.”
I wish it were that simple.
Begrudgingly, I head over to the left. “Wyatt said you needed help on this side.”
“Did he?” Zach grins. “Sometimes he’s not half bad.”
“Sometimes.”
We both move slowly, waiting to see if we get a rogue cow. Zach takes the first step. “There’s a lot we need to talk about. You said some stuff that night when we were outside. I’ve let you have some time, but you can’t keep living like this.”
My muscles tense as I see where this is going. Talking about Todd’s death is the absolute last thing I want to do. “I’m doing everything I need to.”
“I need to know where your head is at. You’re lying to everyone, but I’m not everyone.”
Since I told him the truth, I’ve wondered why. Why would I tell the one person who I really didn’t want to know? Of everyone that I could’ve let it slip to, it was Zach. It made no sense other than that somewhere in my heart, I needed him to know. Maybe I knew he wouldn’t wield the information against me like a sword. Zach wouldn’t judge.