She looks away. “I don’t know . . . what are we doing?”
“Let’s call it dating.”
“Dating?”
“Yeah, that thing where the guy tries to get the girl to see how perfect he is—which you already know partially. This is like dating with knowing we already match.”
She shakes her head with a smile. “You know we’re different people now, Zach.”
“Yes. It’s why I stopped myself.” Even though I wanted to claim her again, I want to be the last man that has a part of her.
It’s barbaric, I can comprehend this. But the idea of anyone else’s hands on her body makes me want to beat the shit out of something.
Presley walks forward and places her hand on my cheek. I freeze, allowing her to set the pace. It takes every ounce of restraint I have not to pull her into my arms. Years I’ve waited for this. I haven’t been the same since she walked out of my life, or I guess, since I walked out of hers.
“Sometimes when I look at you, I’m a kid again. It’s like our first kiss or the first time I ever knew what it was like to be held by you. I was so sure that we’d always be together.” Presley’s eyes close, and I tug her toward me. Her head rests on my chest and my heart aches. I did this to her. “I don’t want it to feel this good, Zach.”
“What do you mean?”
Her head lifts and she stares into my eyes. “It scares me how easy it is to be with you. How it feels like the world is righted again. Like this was how it was supposed to be, yet that makes no sense. Considering how things fell apart, it shouldn’t be this . . . effortless.”
She’s right on a few things, but I don’t think this is effortless. This is painstakingly difficult. My head knows we’re not the same kids, but my heart doesn’t. It only knows that it’s beating again. “This isn’t easy, darlin’. This is hard as all hell. I’m conflicted too, but right now, holding you, is what I want. I’m not trying to jump ten steps ahead. I’m trying to live in the moment.”
I look in her big beautiful eyes and get lost. I can’t remember the last time I felt this calm. She’s the air I breathe, and I hope to God she doesn’t make me suffocate again.
“Okay. Live in the moment.”
I snort. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been able to not think ten steps ahead.”
She smiles and nods. “I know. But I’m going to try.”
She’s always had her plans. Her goals were mapped out since we were kids. It was annoying as hell, but she needed that stability. My brothers and I did everything we could to make her loosen up. And when she did . . . it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Presley without inhibitions was intoxicating.
Her hands hold my head to hers. I battle my wants and try to remember that she’s still figuring out what she’s feeling. I ball my fists behind her back so I don’t take control, and then I feel her breath on my lips. “In the moment,” she whispers before her mouth mashes against mine.
I hold her back, pressing her against me. Her lips move with mine, and it’s fucking surreal. She’s been the one thing that got away, but I’m holding her now. There’s no chance I’m going to let this end. I’ll give her anything she wants if it means I have a chance at redemption.
For years I’ve told myself I’m better off. I’ve lied to everyone, saying that Presley and I were too young and didn’t love each other enough. That was never the truth for me. I loved her too much. I loved her enough for the both of us, but I never showed her—even though I thought I did.
She shifts back.
“We’re going to make this work,” I state. There’s no room for discussion.
“I sure hope so, Cowboy.”
I lean back with a huge grin. She used to call me that when she was in the mood. “Cowboy, huh?”
“Well, that’s what you are now, isn’t it?”
I can see that she remembers. Her playful tone and smirk tells me all I need to know. There are some things that no matter how hard we try to forget—still live inside of our hearts.
“You’re going to test me?”
I watch her come to life before me. The first time I saw her she was sad, unable to really smile. Bit by bit, she’s becoming the girl I knew. It feels that way for me too. She’s made me feel things I didn’t realize I was missing from my life. Just being around her makes me feel whole again. It’s crazy how much this girl lives inside of me.
“I think everything in our life is a test. I’m not sure if we’ll pass, but I can’t pretend that I don’t feel things for you.”
“You two do realize we can hear you, right?” Wyatt laughs from the site. We must be closer than I thought.
Presley ducks her head into my chest. “Oh, God.”
“You can leave,” I reply.
“Nah!” he yells back.
I run my arms up and down her back. “Let’s go back before they act like idiots.”
“Too late,” she says.
“True.”
We head over and the guys, of course, say a few things because they’re incapable of being mature. Wyatt is the worst, but when he sees Presley is uncomfortable, he stops. I’ll never forget the day he told me he was in love with her. I wasn’t sure what the hell to do.
He’s my brother.
She’s my everything.
I had just lost her, and he came out to California. We were having a few beers, and he blurted it out. He told me how he would never do anything, but that he loved her, and I was a fucking moron.
He was right. I was stupid, but I’m not going to be that dumb ever again. Presley won’t be able to get rid of me so easily.
Presley
“I HAD A GOOD TIME.” I look at Zach, who’s standing on the bottom step.
I feel ridiculous, but I can’t stop grinning. Last night was everything. He was sweet and a complete gentleman. I didn’t think about the ridiculous amount of debt I’m trying to pay off or the fact that I’m thirty-five living at home with my parents. I was Presley. A woman who has been through hell, but is finding her legs again. I didn’t curl up and die along with Todd. There’s something to be said for that, and I deserve to be happy again.
“I’m glad I went.”
“Me too.” I smile.