“What about me?” I finally ask my uncle when I can actually think past the throbbing in my head.
“What about you?” he answers.
“I’m the one who caused this problem. I’m the one who went after Cole for no rhyme or reason that I can figure out. You said he’ll be expelled if he comes after me. But what about what I did? What’s going to happen to me?”
22
Family Is My
Favorite F-Word
“Nothing,” Jaxon grinds out. “Nothing is going to happen to you. This isn’t your fault.”
“We don’t know that,” I answer him, pulling out of his arms. “We don’t have a clue why I attacked Cole.”
“You’re right, we don’t,” Uncle Finn says. “And nobody is doing anything until we figure out what’s going on with you.”
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes reassuringly. “I’m not in the habit of kicking students out who are struggling with their powers, Grace. Or who make bad choices with their power for the right reasons. That’s why Flint is still here, even after everything that happened last semester. Jaxon, too. And it’s also why Katmere has the best healers around. So that when mistakes happen, we can fix them.”
“We don’t know this was a mistake—”
“Did you want to hurt Cole when you left your dorm room?”
“No.”
“Did you make a plan to hurt or kill him during the time you were gone?”
“Of course not.” I pause, rethink it. “I mean, I certainly don’t remember doing something like that.”
“Okay, then. I’m going to operate under the assumption that what happened with Cole last night was some kind of slipup with your new powers. And we’re going to treat it as such. I already called a couple of the gargoyle experts who consulted about your case earlier, hoping they could give me some advice about your missing memories. But now that this is going on, I’ll see if I can talk one of them into coming to Katmere this week to work with you.” He gives me a reassuring smile. “I promise you, we’ll get to the bottom of this, Grace.”
My eyes burn a little at this new proof that Uncle Finn has had my back all along, that he’s been moving so many pieces around in the background, trying to figure out the best way to help me.
It’s not quite like having my parents back—nothing will ever feel like that again. But it’s something good in the middle of all this mess. And it’s a lot better than the lost and lonely feeling I had when I first got to Katmere four and a half months ago.
“Thank you,” I murmur when I can finally squeeze the words past the giant lump in my throat. “All of you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Yeah, well, that’s a good thing, considering you’re stuck with us,” Macy says, moving in for a hug just as the chimes ring, signaling the first class of the day.
“I’ll take you,” I answer, hugging her back.
“All right, all right,” Uncle Finn says, and I could be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure he sounds like his throat is a little tight, too. “Get to class. And for the love of Salem, all of you try to stay out of trouble.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Jaxon murmurs in my ear as he walks me through the door into the hall. We’re going out the normal exit this time, not the secret passage.
“The fun is I don’t wake up covered in werewolf blood ever again,” I answer him and shudder. “Which is pretty much a win-win for everyone, don’t you think?”
“I think you forget that you’re talking to a vampire,” he teases, and his mouth is still close enough to my ear to cause all kinds of shivers in all kinds of places. I lean in to him, and for a beat, we both just enjoy the way it feels to rest against each other, the hardness of his body cradled by the softness of mine.
But then he shifts a little, leaning down as if to kiss me, and I freeze up all over again. Again I try to hide it, but Jaxon notices—of course he does. Not for the first time, I wonder how long it’s going to take my gargoyle side to accept a vampire for a mate. Or why my gargoyle side even has an issue with vampires in the first place.
I don’t try to make an excuse this time. Instead, I just smile sadly at him and mouth, I’m sorry. He doesn’t answer, just shakes his head in a “don’t worry about it” kind of way. I can see that it hurts him, though, even as he shifts to drop a kiss on my forehead.
“Can I walk you to class?” he asks as he pulls back.
“Of course.” I wrap an arm around his waist and squeeze him extra tight before looking around for Macy’s hot-pink hair as we fold into the crowds. I don’t want her to feel left out.
But, per usual, she’s already up ahead of us, talking animatedly to Gwen and another one of the witches who are making their way to class.
As we start to walk, I lean away again, grab hold of Jaxon’s hand, and thread our fingers together. I may not be able to kiss him right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him. And it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with him any way that I can.
Jaxon doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t object, either. And when I look up at him, I realize that the small smile he’s got on his face has an extremely goofy tint to it. Because of me.
I’m the girl who turns badass vampire prince Jaxon Vega goofy.
Not going to lie, it feels good.
“So where am I walking you?” Jaxon asks as we finally reach the main hallway.
“I don’t know. They switched my science class. I went from basic Chem to the Physics of Flight, but I don’t know why.”
“Really? You don’t know why?” Jaxon asks, brow raised, a teasing glint in his eyes.
“No.” I shrug. “Do you?”
“I mean, I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the big, beautiful wings your alter ego carries around.”
“My alter— Oooooh.” That has my eyes going wide. “You mean the Physics of Flight is about actually being able to fly?”
“Yeah.” He looks at me incredulously. “What did you think it was about?”
“I don’t know. Airplanes, I guess. That’s why I was so confused.”
“No, Grace. At Katmere, the class about flying is actually about flying.”
“I just— That’s— I mean…” In the end, I just shake my head. I mean, what else is there to say about that? Except: “Flight class. They think I should be in flight class.” What on earth am I supposed to do with that?
“Well, wings are pretty much a prerequisite for flying,” Jaxon teases as we turn down another hallway. “And so is figuring out how to use them.”
“Oh yeah?” It’s my turn to raise a brow at him. “Because I’m pretty sure you can fly without them.”
He laughs. “Oh, hey! I’ve got a new joke for you.”
“A new joke?” My brows hit my hairline as a grin splits my face. “Awesome. Lay it on me.”
The look he gives me is suddenly steaming hot, and it says very clearly that there’s a whole lot he wants to lay on me, and very little of it has to do with the cheesy jokes I love.
There’s a part of me that wants to look away, that feels uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy of the moment. But that isn’t fair to him—isn’t fair to either of us, really—so I keep my gaze steady on his, even as heat and uncertainty surge in equal parts through my body.
For a moment, just a moment, I think Jaxon is going to follow up on the feelings I don’t even try to hide, his midnight eyes turning to a deep, unrelenting black as his jaw goes tight.
But then the moment passes, and I can see him make the choice to let the tension, and everything that comes with it, slip away.
I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed. Probably a little bit of both. But when Jaxon takes a very deliberate step back, physically and emotionally, it seems only fair to go with it.
“So.” He grins down at me. “What sound does a gargoyle make when he sneezes?”
“A gargoyle joke? Seriously?” I roll my eyes at him.
He laughs. “What, too soon?”
He looks so pleased with himself that I can’t deny him anything. “No, go ahead.”
“What does a gargoyle say when he sneezes?”
I eye him warily. “I’m afraid to ask.”
“Stat-choo!”
“Oh my God. That’s awful.”
He grins. “I know, right? Want to hear another one?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, skepticism ripe in my voice. “Do I?”
“You do.” He squeezes my hand. “Why don’t gargoyles go out during the day?”
“I don’t want to know.” I brace for his answer.
“Because they’re too stoned.”
“Oh my God!” I make a face at him. “That one was bad.”
“It was awful,” he agrees.
“And you obviously loved it. I’ve created a monster,” I tease, shaking my head in mock horror as I lean into him.
But Jaxon’s eyes are shadowed now, the laughter slipping away as easily as it came.
“No.” Jaxon watches me with an intensity that shakes me to my very bones. “I’ve always been a monster, Grace. You’re the one who’s made me human.”
My stomach sinks like a stone.
Because while Jaxon is definitely becoming more human…I’m deathly afraid that I’m turning into the real monster at Katmere Academy.
23
Saturday Morning
Cartoons Never
Prepared Me
for This
Jaxon’s words stay with me all day, melting me whenever I think about them. About him. Making me more determined than ever to find my way back to him, fully.
With that thought in mind, I decide to skip lunch—both Jaxon and Macy have study-group plans anyway—and head straight for the library, where I’ll have a couple of hours of uninterrupted time to research gargoyles.