His words send a chill through me, make my mouth go dry and my palms sweat. And still I can’t just walk away. Not when he’s standing right here. “Jaxon, please. You’re not making any sense.”
“Only because you refuse to understand.” He backs away. “I have to go.”
The words hang in the air between us—dark and somber—but he doesn’t go. He doesn’t do anything but stand there, staring at me with tortured eyes.
So I do something. I step forward until our bodies are just barely brushing against each other.
It’s not much, but it’s enough to have heat pooling in my stomach and electricity crackling just below my skin. “Jaxon.” I whisper his name because my vocal cords have forgotten how to work. He doesn’t answer me, but he doesn’t move away, either.
For one second, two, he just stands there looking down at me, his gaze locked with mine. His body pressing forward into mine.
I whisper his name again, and it’s almost enough. I can see him waver, feel him lean more heavily against me.
But then he snaps out of it, his voice cutting like broken glass as he tells me, “Stay away from me, Grace.” He turns away, takes the steps three at a time, and doesn’t stop until he’s on the landing ten feet below. Then, without turning around, he calls up to me. “It’s the only way you’re getting out of this school alive.”
“Is that a threat?” I ask, more shaken than I want to admit—to him or to myself.
“I don’t make threats.” The I don’t have to hangs in the air between us.
Before I can respond, he puts two hands on the iron banister and vaults straight over it. I let out a strangled scream, rush to the edge of the staircase, half afraid I’ll see his mangled body down below. But not only is he not lying broken on the ground three stories below, he’s nowhere to be seen at all. He’s vanished, right into thin air.
37
Don’t Ask the
Question if You Can’t
Handle the Answer
I stand, staring down at where Jaxon should be but isn’t for several seconds. He couldn’t have just disappeared. It’s impossible.
I start down after him—the sane way—but I’ve barely made it four steps before someone is calling behind me. “Hey, Grace! Where are you going?”
I turn to see Lia coming across the landing toward me. She’s dressed in all black, as per usual, and looks totally badass in a chic, feminine way. Also as per usual.
“I wanted to talk to Jaxon, but he’s too fast for me.”
“No news there. When Jaxon doesn’t want to be caught, he’s too fast for everyone.” She rests a hand lightly on my shoulder. “But, Grace, honey, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
I’m pretty sure that’s the understatement of the year, so I just kind of shake my head. “It’s been a weird day. And a long one.”
“It always is when Jaxon is involved,” she tells me with a laugh. “What you need is a little more of my tea and some girl time. We should arrange that for later.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“In the meantime, maybe you should go after Jaxon. Otherwise who knows how long he’ll brood.”
I think about it, I really do. But I have no idea where he went—or even if he’s still in the castle. And if he’s not inside, it’s not like I can exactly go chasing after him in my pajamas.
Which is why, in the end, I just kind of sigh and say, “I think I’m going to go back to my room for now. Maybe try to text him.”
“Oh, yeah, of course you could do that.” She sounds a little patronizing, but it could just be that I’m pissy. Which is why, when she says, “Here, let me help you back to your room. You look like you’re going to collapse at any second,” I try not to be annoyed.
I feel like I’m going to collapse at any second, but I figure that’s no one’s business but my own. Especially in this school, where physical weakness seems like a character flaw.
Which is why, instead of answering her, I cast one more look down the stairs after Jaxon—to no avail—before turning to walk back the way I came. Lia seems to think I’m going to fall at any moment, though, because she walks right next to me, hand up like she’s prepared to catch me if I fall. Which I absolutely am not going to do. I’ve caused enough trouble this week to last a lifetime.
“So what’s going on?” she asks as we slowly make our way back to my room. “I thought I’d see you at dinner, but you weren’t there.”
“Oh, yeah. I had a little…accident.”
“I can see that.” She eyes the bandages covering too many of my visible surfaces. “Anything serious? Because you look like you went three rounds with a polar bear. And lost.”
I shake my head with a laugh. “A little flying glass from the earthquake earlier, no big deal.”
“Oh, right. The earthquake.” She studies me for a second. “You know, we’ve had more tremors since you got here than we’ve had in the last year. I’m beginning to think you brought them with you, California girl.”
I snort. “Yeah, I’ve already had that discussion today. But I have to tell you, I never got hurt like this from a quake in California.”
“Oh yeah? Well, you know what they say about Alaska.”
“North to the Future?” I respond, quoting the state motto I found online when I was researching this state.
She laughs. “More like, everything here is designed to kill you in ten seconds or less.”
“I thought that was Australia?”
“I’m pretty sure it works for any place that begins and ends with an A.” She grins, but there’s a bite to the words that reminds me just how bad things can get here. I may have fallen out of a tree and gotten cut by some glass since I got here, but Lia lost her boyfriend. And Jaxon lost his brother.
“How are you doing?” I ask as we get closer to my room.
“Me?” She looks startled. “You’re the one who’s all cut up.”
“I didn’t mean physically. I meant…” I take a deep breath, blow it out slowly. “About Hudson. How are you doing?”
For a second, just a second, rage flashes in her eyes. Towering, unadulterated, infinite. But then she blinks, and it’s replaced with a bland, pleasant expression that is somehow a million times worse than the fury beneath it.
“I’m doing all right,” she says with a strange little smile that makes me ache in sympathy. “I mean, I’m not good. I’ll never be good. But I’ve figured out how to say no, so that’s something.”