“We were in her car, a convertible Mustang. The top was down, it was hot as hell outside, and I lasted for ten—okay, five seconds. She laughed and we did it again.” He pauses, his voice lowering. “And again.”
“Are you thinking about her right now?”
“No,” he says breathily.
I swallow thickly. “You’re thinking about someone. Who?”
Silence greets me as his breathing changes, the sound of more rustling…
Heat flashes over my skin as my hand draws a line down my chest to my navel. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“Nothing.”
“Who were you thinking about, River?”
Still no reply, just the sound of his breathing.
My eyes flutter. I’ve jumped into the deep end, and I don’t know how to swim. I clear my throat. “What would you want a girl to do? To turn you on?”
“You’re pushing boundaries, Anastasia. Do we need another rule in our revenge thing?”
I ignore that. “I’ve only been with two guys, Bryson and Donovan. Truth? I dated Donovan for four months before we went all the way. We were friends long before we became lovers. So—I need assistance, and you said you’d help. I think tips should be involved in that.”
“Four months?” He sounds incredulous. “You spent the night with him several times, early on.”
“Hmmm, didn’t know you were counting. Doesn’t mean we had sex.”
“What did you do in his room?”
I laugh. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” I say carefully. “We talked a lot about why we want to go to law school. We watched TV and studied together, I guess, got to know each other. We hung out with the brothers. We partied together. Sounds lame, but it’s the usual college hangout stuff.”
“You’ve barely spent any time with me.”
Nerves fly at me, and I realize I’m clutching my phone. “Sometimes it only takes one sunrise to know someone.”
“Hmmm.”
“What of it?”
“Nothing,” he mutters.
“No.”
“No?” I hear amusement.
“Yeah, no,” I say.
“Huh. You just say no and I’m supposed to give in?”
“Snake, I won’t let you push me around—”
“Jesus, Rainbow. I’m not—”
I smile at the Rainbow but tuck it away for later as I interrupt him. “You want to clam up on me. Admit it. Why does it matter if we haven’t spent time together? You never let me.”
“I see your point. Let’s move on.”
“Fine, but as you can see, obviously, I need a guide for my revenge—”
He lets out another gusty exhalation, and I smile. He’s riled up again.
“You could share your vast experience…” I add.
“Hold up. First, quantity doesn’t mean quality. I don’t recommend following in my footsteps. It’s empty and doesn’t make you happy. Sex is better when it’s with someone you have feelings for.”
“You had feelings for all those sorority girls you banged at the Kappa house?”
“No, but it’s because I’m…”
“What?”
“I can’t have the one I want.”
“Blair.”
“No.”
“Ah, and here we are again, full circle. Who is she?”
“Moving on,” he declares adamantly. “My suggestion is you ditch this revenge idea and wait for the right guy. Maybe you’ll meet him at some book event or at law school, or maybe you’ll be at the grocery store one day and he’ll bump your cart with his and it will be love at first sight. Don’t rush it.”
“My, my, don’t you sound like a little goody-goody. Who are you? And no, I’m definitely going to find a guy, and he doesn’t have to be Mr. Right.”
Do you want a taste of my revenge, River? Just a little nibble?
“What’s your ultimate fantasy?” I ask.
“Have you smoked a joint?”
I giggle. “No. I’ve only done that twice in my life. Growing up, I saw drugs. My parents have, um, experimental friends.”
“Yet you remain sweet.”
“Sometimes sugar looks like salt, and I’m feeling salty. I need pointers, and I won’t let you try to change the subject. Help me, River.”
“You are relentless.” A huff comes from him. “Fine. Fantasy: I walk into a room and my girl, she’s there waiting for me, wearing nothing but my hoodie or a shirt. ‘Iris’ by The Goo Goo Dolls plays in the background. She takes it off real slow, makes a striptease out of it—”
“Not much to strip with one piece of clothing.”
“My fantasy, so shut it. She doesn’t need much. She’s different and beautiful with no makeup, and her hair…it’s like silk, long and straight and thick, down her back. I want to wrap my hands in it—” He stops abruptly.
“That’s it?” I say softly. “Where’s the glitz and glam? Where’s the handcuffs and whips and lacey underthings? Or even some whipped cream? Are all dudes this basic?”
He growls into the phone and a shiver goes through me.
I laugh. “Details. Must. Have. Them.”
“Diabolical.”
“Spill your secrets. Please.” In my mind, it’s me in River’s varsity jacket, and I take it off slowly, revealing my nakedness. His hand curls in my hair and pulls me to my knees in front of him…
“Did you just groan?” he asks.
“Did I?”
“You did.”
“You’re mistaken. Finish the fantasy. It’s a rule. I just made it. Getting my revenge requires you telling me how to be sexy.”
“You don’t need any help in that department.”
I touch my nipples and my thighs clench.
“You’re breathing hard, Anastasia.”
“Were you touching yourself before?”
“No.”
“Eye twitch, I bet. Look, I haven’t had…” sex in a while. Didn’t want to.
“Haven’t had what?” he asks.
Wait.
I stop and frown as I sit up on the bed and think about my relationship with Donovan. I can point fingers at him all day long, and I have—he pushed me away because of his parents, he was too busy, I had work—but…
Clarity trickles in and I gasp. It was me too. I helped dig our grave. Since the summer at his parents’ place, I avoided sex, recoiled from intimacy, took extra shifts, spent more time studying. I never protested when he drove to Atlanta to see his family on the weekends, never protested when he spent time with the frat, never confided about Bryson, didn’t tell him about Harvard until I had to, and deep down I dreaded the idea of spending the holidays with his family or him.
Yet he was that little piece of security I didn’t want to let go of. I loved the frat house, the home it represented…
“I…” My voice trails off.
“What?”
I don’t want to say Donovan’s name. It’s a wall between us, and River—he’s slowly stacking more bricks onto it.