Lex cups my cheek in his palm and plants a soft kiss on my lips. “You’re my favorite appetizer. I’d have you before every meal if I could.”
While he disposes of the condom, I retrieve my dress from the closet. It has an open back, making a bra impossible. I’m sure that was intentional. Lex helps me step into it. “I think you should forgo panties,” he says as the fabric slides over my hips.
“So you have easier access?”
His grin is devious mischief. “I was going to say to avoid panty lines, but that’s another good reason.”
Putting on a pair of open-toed flats, I grab my purse and follow Lex outside. Instead of heading for one of the resort restaurants, Lex takes me to the beach where a table for two is set up on the sand. Strings of lights flicker, reflecting off the water as the sun falls to touch the horizon; pale blue streaks with light purple, pink, and orange mix into the watercolor palette. It’s gorgeously romantic.
I pull out my phone and snap a few pictures of the view. My smile feels suddenly wooden as I swing around, camera poised to take a picture of Lex. A pang of sadness makes my heart ache for what could’ve been. What would’ve happened if I hadn’t accepted Armstrong’s invitation to dance, if I’d waited for Lex to bring that drink back? Would this be our honeymoon instead?
If Armstrong hadn’t cheated on me, would he have thought to organize a special moonlight dinner on a private beach? Would he schedule a spa day for me, fuck me over the side of the couch? Would he have ever been ravenous for me? Had he ever been? I feel like I already have the answer to that.
Lex’s smile is soft and easy as his fingers circle my wrist. “Just enjoy it for what it is, Amie.”
I don’t want to ruin the moment with sadness over things that can’t be. He turns me around to face the view. Pale blue water darkens along with the setting sun. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me from behind, his strong, solid body grounding me in the present. I lift my phone and snap a panorama of shots, hoping to preserve this feeling in the images I collect while I’m with him.
I want to flip it on him and take a selfie, but that would make this too real, so I just appreciate his arms around me and his cheek against mine.
“How were your meetings today?” I ask once we’re settled at the table, glasses of champagne poured and appetizers, of the actual consumable variety, set between us.
“Other than being highly distracted, they were informative.”
I prop my chin on my fist. “Is it okay to ask you to elaborate?”
Lex leans back in his chair. “Of course. It’s not exactly riveting stuff if you’re not involved in the hotel industry, so when you start falling asleep, feel free to throw things at me and I’ll shut up about it.”
“I’m sure it’s far from boring.”
Lex shrugs. “I find it interesting, but it’s my job, so that’s probably part of it. I’m here because we have four resorts and one of them isn’t performing as well as the others. The ratings are down over the past twelve months and it’s my job to find a way to bring them back up.”
“Is it this property?” I can’t see how. This is perfect vacation spot, nothing like real life.
Lex shakes his head. “It’s down the beach a ways, at a slightly more affordable location, well, more affordable for here. I’ll need to stay there for a while later in the month. This is our best performing resort on the island, and it’s my favorite, so I chose to stay here first.”
“What makes this one your favorite?”
“Well, other than the obvious.” His gaze roams over me. “It’s romantic without being overly honeymoon driven. The view is spectacular, the accommodations are grand, but comfortable. Plus the nightlife is accessible and exciting.”
I agree with everything he’s said. “So what’s the other resort missing?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. It’s almost an exact copy of this resort, only more budget friendly. I’m heading there tomorrow to review services and sit down with management so I have comparative data for analysis.”
“That makes sense.” I focus on my champagne flute. “So you’ll be gone all day?” I fight a cringe at how disappointed I sound.
“You could come with me. If you’d like.”
I lift my gaze, uncertain if this is him just being nice, or worse, feeling sorry for me. “I don’t want to interfere with your meetings.”
“It would actually be quite helpful to have a female perspective. I can book you in for a couple of spa treatments, since that seems to be an area that needs work, and you can compare them.”
“Um . . . okay, I could do that.”
“Great.”
God his smile is beautiful.
Halfway through dinner my phone starts buzzing. Anxiety makes my mouth dry. I don’t want it to be Armstrong, ruining a perfect evening, so I ignore it. When it starts again seconds after it stopped, I check to make sure it’s not an emergency.
“Everything okay?” Lex’s concern mirrors my own.
My anxiety dissipates when I see the name on the screen. “It’s Ruby.”
Lex taps on the edge of the table. “When was the last time you talked to her?”
I know what he’s asking without saying it aloud. “I messaged yesterday to tell her I’m fine and I’d switched hotels. I planned to call today, but then I had all these appointments, and this dinner, so . . .” My throat feels tight like the words want to stay inside. This is a necessary conversation. We’re living in this bubble together and this is how it must remain. I motion between us. “I won’t say anything to her about this.”
Lex nods and traces the edge of his cutlery. “Will that be hard for you? To keep this from her?”
Ruby and I tell each other almost everything, but this is different. “I don’t want to put her in a precarious position. Would you tell Bane?”
Lex barks out a laugh. “We don’t share that kind of information.” He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I don’t want to make this situation more difficult for you. I’m happy to be a distraction for you while you’re here, if that’s what you want me to be.”
“Is that what this is all about?” I gesture to our surroundings.
His smile is warm. “You deserve all the best things, and I can give you a few of them, so that’s what I’m trying to do. If it’s too much just tell me, but I’m willing to give you whatever you want while you’re here with me.”
“What do you want?” I don’t know why I’m asking this. Clearly he wants to get laid, just like I do. This suaveness is innate. No wonder women fall all over themselves to go out with him.
Lifting my hand, he kisses my knuckles. “To enjoy this time I have with you.”
I should feel relief, not disappointment, especially considering I’m still technically married. “We’ll just keep it between us,” I whisper as he bites the tip of my pinkie.
“You’ll be my favorite secret.” His eyes burn, but sadness tints his words with the same shadows cast by the waning sun.
Fourteen: Complicated
Lexington
The morning following dinner on the beach Amie and I head to the sister resort via jeep. Her hair is pulled up in a messy bun, her face is makeup-free apart from some clear lip gloss that tastes like artificial grapes. I’ve kissed it off three times already.