Eventually summer turned into autumn, and it was time for me to return to the Underworld. Hades greeted me in the meadow as always, but rather than a smile and a kiss on the cheek, he simply nodded coldly and took my hand without a word. Whatever he’d gone through in those six months, whatever thoughts and questions had haunted him, had also ruined every step of progress we’d made in the thousands of years since Hermes and I had broken up. And more than ever, self-loathing snaked through me, doing nothing but compounding my despair. I didn’t deserve Hades’s friendship. I didn’t deserve Adonis, not after doing this to him. I didn’t deserve any of it.
Those six months in the Underworld were blank. I went through the motions of existing, but some integral part of who I was had given up entirely. Hades stopped spending the evening with me. He no longer brought me breakfast. He could barely stand to look at me even when we had to, even when a mortal’s eternity depended on our communication. And rather than take steps to fix it, all I could do was drown in the darkness that was my life. Not even the promise of four months with Adonis in the spring made it better.
After several weeks of spying on Adonis and Aphrodite, I stopped, unable to stomach seeing him so upset any longer. But eventually her time with him passed as well, and shortly before the spring equinox, I couldn’t resist checking in on Adonis once more.
He stood in a stream I didn’t recognize, using a net to capture fish. I watched him, invisible to his eyes, and just seeing him like this—free and happy—was enough to make me smile. Four months wasn’t forever, and one day Aphrodite would grow bored of him. I never would though, and eventually, when mortality claimed him, I would have him entirely to myself. Aphrodite wouldn’t be able to touch him in the Underworld.
Behind me, someone giggled, and a cold wave of dread crashed through me, washing away what little warmth had blossomed. Even though it was his four months of freedom, even though everything I’d witnessed made it clear he didn’t love her, Aphrodite skipped out of the trees, a flower tucked behind her ear.
“Adonis! There you are.” She stepped into the stream with him and set a hand on his bare back. “Any luck?”
He shook his head. “A few close calls.”
“Well, I’ll just ask the nymphs to make us dinner then,” she murmured. “I’m starving.”
Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him on the mouth, her hand dancing downward toward his waist. She wasn’t hungry for food, that was for damn sure.
I was going to kill her.
This was supposed to be Adonis’s time alone, not an extra third of a year for her. And why was he going along with this? Why hadn’t he refused her and walked away?
The same reason he hadn’t spoken up when Zeus had asked him, more than likely. Mortals with any sense of self-preservation didn’t question a god. Even one as feeble as Aphrodite.
I didn’t hesitate. I pulled my body through the space between us as I’d done almost exactly a year ago, and this time Aphrodite didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see me.
“I was wondering when you’d stick your nose where it doesn’t belong,” she chirped, sliding her arm around Adonis’s torso. He paled at the sight of me, and though he tried to step back from Aphrodite, she held on. Naturally. Couldn’t risk letting her trophy think for himself, else her precious ego might be bruised.
“You don’t have to spend these months with her,” I said to Adonis, keeping my voice as steady as I could. “You know that, don’t you?”
He nodded and averted his eyes, his fishing net all but forgotten. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I said, glaring at Aphrodite. “I’m sure this wasn’t your idea. Why are you here with her?”
“I couldn’t just turn him away in the middle of winter, now, could I?” said Aphrodite, her eyes wide.
“He spends those four months alone. That was our deal,” I said.
She tilted her head and gave me the perfect imitation of a smile. “Oh? I recall Daddy saying he could spend this third doing whatever he wanted. And rather than starving to death, he chose to remain with me.”
That conniving bitch. I raised my hand to slap her, but what was the point when she couldn’t feel pain? “So that’s why you let me have the first four months with him—so you could trick him into spending his free four with you.”
She laughed. “Of course. Honestly, it’s not like he could go to you anyway, so why shouldn’t he spend them with me? He loves me.”
“Not the way he loves me,” I snarled.
“Is that so? Adonis, tell Persephone how much you love me.”
He grimaced, not meeting either of our stares. At last he slipped from Aphrodite’s grip, and taking his net, he splashed toward shore without a word.
Fine. If he wouldn’t defend himself, then I would.
“See? He can’t even answer you,” I said, drawing myself up to my full height. “He loves me without trickery, and if I were here to spend time with him—”
“But you aren’t,” said Aphrodite. “Don’t you see that? Hephaestus knows about my affairs—he knows this is something I need in order to be myself, and he accepted that long before we married. But Hades didn’t. Despite everything you’ve done to him, he loves you. He’s loved you for so long that it’s as much a part of him as the Underworld is now. And even though you have his unconditional, endless love, you have no problem turning your back on him and hurting him in the worst ways possible.”