At his words my eyes are instantly drawn to the bulge at the front of his jeans. I don't dare look up at him right now because I have no willpower where he's concerned. I'll just end up joining him and helping him take care of the problem I created.
He hands me the remote. "You can watch something else or close your eyes and catch a nap if you want. But I'd better not find you cleaning when I come back out here."
"Bossy." I whisper the words but if his quick grin is any indication, he hears me anyway. Once he disappears down the hallway, I put my feet up on the couch and close my eyes, instantly reliving our heated kiss. Stopping him was really hard but I know it was the right thing to do.
That day when I ran into his room, he'd warned me then that he meant to have me again. But I'd known then just as surely as I know now, that his desire wasn't about love, it was about proving a point. It was about revenge. Now that we've cleared the air, I don't think Finn is still trying to hurt me but if I'm not careful that's exactly what will happen.
Making love with Finn is one of the few unspoiled memories I have in my life. I don't want anything to take that away from me.
CHAPTER SEVEN
FINN
It's nearly midnight and I am exhausted. I also have newfound respect for Rissa. It's not that I ever thought cleaning was easy. It's more that I had no idea it was this fucking hard.
"You can take a break if you need to." Rissa glances over at me. I'm in the middle of tying up another monster-sized trash bag.
Mercers is a pretty big store and we've been over every inch of it in detail. According to Rissa, the employees of the store do general tidying, clean their employee bathrooms and handle vacuuming their individual sections of the store. However, the owners found it more efficient to hire out for the rest of their janitorial needs. So Rissa has assigned me to help her with emptying all the trash bins so she can run the big machine that buffs the floors.
"I'm okay." It rankles slightly to think that she's worried about me. Like I'm some weakling that can't handle a little physical work.
My leg may be compromised but the rest of me is still in pretty decent shape. I heft the bag slightly so I can drag it to the back section of the store. The other one I've filled is sitting there. I'll have to take them to the dumpster out back before we leave.
When I come back, Rissa is just finishing the last section in the main entryway.
"I don't know how you do this every day." I have to yell slightly so she can hear me over the sound of the machine.
Rissa shrugs and then turns the buffer off. "Lots of people have it worse. We all just do what we have to."
I walk over and tip up her chin. "That was a compliment in case that didn't come through. You are amazing."
Her cheeks flush. "I'm used to working hard. I remember that you were the same way."
"I was. Maybe that's part of my problem now. I don't have that same sense of purpose. The accident took that away from me just as much as it took pieces of my leg."
She looks up at me sharply. It's the first time I've talked about my injury to her at all. It's not something that I'm comfortable with myself yet. But I don't want her to think that I'm some lazy playboy just because I have money now.
I brush a finger over the skin of her cheek. Her skin was always perfect. Just like everything else about her. It's part of the reason I've never been able to get her off my mind. Ever since that scorching kiss this afternoon, I haven't been able to think about anything else but touching her again. Kissing her wasn't my intention but she'd been so close and looking at me the same way she is now. Like she's remembering how good it used to be. Damn if that doesn't make me want to show her how much better it would be now.
"I was sorry to hear about you getting hurt. My mom still keeps in touch with some of the people from the old neighborhood. I didn’t know exactly what happened, just that you’d been hurt. I wanted to visit you but I didn't think you'd want to see me."
She has no idea. After the accident, I'd been filled with rage. At myself, at fate, at the face that wasn't there. She was the first person I asked for when I woke up in the hospital. My mom told me that later. I was delirious from pain and my first instinct was to call out for Rissa. It wasn't until later that I remembered that she wasn't mine anymore.
"I probably wouldn't have been able to handle it just then. I was a mess."
"You were injured. You were allowed to be a mess." She smiles up at me and then all at once seems to realize how close we're standing. She takes a step back and then looks around. "I guess that's it then. We're done for now."
"That's it?" I try not to sound too excited but I'm definitely ready to get home and sit down. My back hurts and my leg is going to be aching tomorrow for sure. I've pushed too hard and the muscles are already knotted in protest.
"Yeah, let's get out of here. I'm sure this isn't what you were expecting when you volunteered to help but I want you to know how much I appreciate it. Things should be back to normal tomorrow."
"I didn't mind at all." To my surprise, it's the absolute truth. I wouldn't characterize the past few hours as fun but it was good to be around Rissa for so long. It felt like the old days when we'd spend hours after school in each other's company. Usually she'd be doing homework while I was practicing for baseball. Then I'd walk her home and spend a little time flirting with her mom, Gloria, to make her laugh. Those had been good times. Simple times.