My cheeks heated and I took a sip of my wine. There was no mistaking what she meant. How had the conversation turned into a discussion about my sex life?
“Jess.” Sam set her glass down. “Leave her alone. She has her reasons.” I’d confided in Samantha once after a night of drinking when she asked about guys at school. It had been nice to talk to someone—especially my soon-to-be sister-in-law. She hadn’t made me feel foolish for being scared of what could happen.
“What?” Jess looked between us before leaning forward. “Oh my God. You mean you haven’t . . .”
“No.” I shrugged and hoped I could pull off nonchalance, because it was the farthest thing from what I was actually feeling. “Too much at risk. How am I supposed to know if someone wants me for me? And if I just do it to get it over with, what if they try to use it against me? Or to manipulate me?” I thought about the photos of Alex that his ex had released, and shuddered. I’d never be able to understand how he had stayed so calm. I had been a wreck and the pictures weren’t even of me. “It’s not just my virginity. It could haunt me forever.”
“What you need to do is find someone that doesn’t care about your title.” Jess narrowed her eyes.
“And how do you suggest I do that?” I leaned back in my seat. “Hand out surveys?”
“You need to find someone that isn’t impressed by your tiara.” Jess leaned forward eagerly. “Someone that maybe even hates your title.”
“Oh. That’s a great idea.” I sat up. “Hi, I’m a princess. I heard you hate royalty. Want to go have sex?”
Sam laughed but Jess seemed unfazed.
“Why not? Take away the title and what are you left with?” Jess asked.
“A sexy blonde with a great sense of humor.” Sam wiggled her eyebrows. “It could work.”
“Right.” I spun the wine in my glass. I had contemplated a one-night stand before, but I hadn’t found anyone that inspired that kind of lust. I didn’t want it to happen and not enjoy it. That seemed pointless. But I was getting tired of waiting for the right guy to come along . . .
“I’m just saying that if someone happened to show up that was really hot and didn’t care for royalty, you should go for it.” Jess shot Sam a look.
“What?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Nothing. I’m just saying you need to live a little.” Jess smiled.
“You do need to have some fun.” Sam popped a piece of cheese into her mouth. “You haven’t done anything spontaneous or fun since . . .”
Her voice quieted, but I knew what she meant. I hadn’t been to a club or party since the night Sam found out her father was dying. It had been such a scary night for everyone. That had been over a year ago, though. I hadn’t done anything but go to school and family functions in that time. Other than my movie nights with Sam and Jess’s bachelorette party. But that didn’t really count.
“Okay. We need to find you a hottie.” Jess leaned on the counter and pursed her lips. “I have a friend studying to be a neurologist. He’s cute and driven.”
“Um, no. I do not want to be set up with anyone. That’s just weird.” I shook my head. “No, no, no.”
“Why not?” Sam poured more wine into her glass. “We’re cool people. We know cool people.”
“Yes, because cool people often need to tell people that.” I laughed.
Sam snorted. “C’mon. A neurologist? Some people would think that was a serious catch.”
“I always thought I wanted someone like Jess’s friend, but I don’t know anymore. I just . . .” I pursed my lips. “Maybe you’re right. I should just find someone to have fun. Stop worrying about the long term.”
“That’s not—”
“Exactly!” Jess cut Sam off. “Have some fun! Cut loose!”
“We’ll see.” I took a sip of my drink before going to rinse my glass and setting it in the sink. “Ready for your massages?”
“Hell yeah!” Sam drank the rest of the wine in her glass. “Time to relax.”
“Then come on!” I forced a large smile. Thinking about my love life, or rather the lack of my love life, was depressing. The chances of finding someone who would love me for me were so slim, they practically didn’t exist. What Alex had found with Sam was a miracle. I’d be lucky if I found someone who didn’t make me want to puke when I saw them.
TWO
“WHEN I SAID I wanted to do something crazy, I didn’t mean I wanted to become a stripper.” Sam stood in the large formal living room, looking at the silver poles in front of her. “Be honest. Did Alex put you up to this?”
“No, but he’s going to owe me.” I snickered and sat down on the floor to stretch.
“You didn’t hire a stripper, did you? That guy in the spandex, currently sitting in my kitchen, is not going to shake his man-pickle in my face, right?” Sam grabbed a bottle of champagne and poured us all a glass. “Because if you did, I’m going to need a lot more to drink. He looks like Gene Simmons on steroids.”
I chuckled loudly. “No. I didn’t hire a stripper.”
“Damn.” Jess winked at me.
“I thought this would be fun! Crazy and silly, and not out at clubs or at bars where people could see us.” I accepted my flute from Sam and took a swallow.