She frowned and reached for my hand. “Nai, you used to come over all the time, and now? Only in the morning, and just enough time for Nell to cover your marks.” She shook her head and swallowed hard. “Do you … are you mad at me? I’ve been giving you space because I thought you were mad about the blood debt. That you regret it.”
I shook my head, shocked she’d misunderstood, and tears blurred my vision. “No. Not at all. I could never regret saving you.” I pulled her in for a sideways hug. “You’re my BFF. You do know that the second F is for ‘forever,’ right?”
She sniffed, and the sound pulled at all the strings of my heart.
“We … I-I thought … I was afraid you’d resent me.”
I chuckled, not because her pain was funny but because the whole misunderstanding was so crazy. Relief poured through me as I came to terms with my lame coping skills. I’d blocked everyone out because I was hurt, but maybe it was better to get it all out in the open.
“Nope.” I popped the p. “I don’t resent you one bit. I thought you and your sisters wanted or maybe needed time together to heal. Because—” I shrugged. “—the school doesn’t offer therapy.”
Kaja snickered. As she pulled me into a tight hug, she whispered, “You’re certifiable. Also, you’re my BFF too. And I want you around all the time.”
On second thought, the alpha king could keep the money and get his own therapist. I had Kaja.
“Let’s go order pizza,” Kaja said, pulling me toward the Harvest dorm. “Nell and Rue will probably demand a sleepover too. Girl, don’t ever think we need time away from you. As far as we’re concerned, we’re all part of the same pack.”
Tears pricked my eyes again as we strode toward her dorm, each of us with an arm around the other. We walked through the door, and both Rue and Nell screamed and raced forward to greet me.
“Nai’s back!”
Nell burst into laughter.
“I can’t wait for us to all go to Samhain tomorrow,” Rue said.
Oh, crap.
The ball was tomorrow, and I didn’t have a dress.
I stared at the empty white dress box that lay at the edge of Kaja’s bed, the red silk ribbon now on the floor from when she’d torn it open for me.
I clutched the card against my chest and tried to rein in my breathing.
Beautiful Miss Blue,
Wear this tonight so I can find you.
-Your Mate
“It’s sooo romantic,” Kaja squealed.
I ran my fingertips over the dark blue silk where it faded to teal near the hem.
“It’s psychotic,” I replied.
Nell and Rue shared a worried glance, making me feel like I needed to explain.
I shook my head. “He’s not proud to be my mate in real life, only in hidden corners and moonlight runs. I feel like a secret mistress.”
Tears burned my eyes and clogged my throat. Mother Mage, I care too much. More than I’d allowed myself to believe.
Rage.
Justice.
They knew me.
I understood it wasn’t ideal to have your mate be from another clan—it was a high crime, even—but then why bother with the beautiful dress? Why the freaking boxes of food? Why get all of the Midnight princes to help me shift? Why do all these things and still keep me in the dark?
I was done playing his games. From here forward, it needed to be all or nothing. So tonight, I was going to tell my green-eyed Midnight boy to choose. Either we were honest with each other, trusted each other, or … not. If he wouldn’t share his identity, then I was done. I was Nai of Crescent Clan, and no one worth my time was ashamed to be with me.
“A girl in our pack found her fated mate last summer.” Kaja’s voice was small, and she offered me a tremulous smile. “I’d never seen anyone so blissful and euphoric. He was a few years older than her, and everyone wondered why he wouldn’t pick a mate. I don’t know if he knew and was waiting for her to grow up or what, but when she turned eighteen, he kissed her at her birthday party, and all these white butterflies descended onto her shoulders … it was incredible. They light each other up, and the coolest thing is they can speak to each other telepathically.” She sighed and then added, “Our entire pack partied for three days and three nights straight; we were so happy for them.”
Silence descended.
A wistful sense of melancholy settled in my chest, a dull ache of loss. I took a deep breath to dislodge the sensation then cleared my throat. “I’ll never have that.”
Kaja came over and wrapped her arms around me. “No, and I’m so sorry because you deserve it.”
We hugged, and Nell and Rue murmured their agreement and then came up from behind and wrapped their arms around us, squishing me in the middle.
“You also deserve a trophy for being a badass fighter,” Nell said.
Rue chimed in with her soft voice. “And for keeping your promises.”
“Holy Mother Mage,” Kaja quipped, rolling her eyes. “You’d better stop or she’ll get a big head and make friends with Mallory, and then where will we be?”
I laughed. “No way that’s going to happen.”
Our group hug disbanded, and I glanced at each of the Harvest girls, my heart brimming with affection. “You guys are the best.”
“You’re pretty okay too.” Kaja surveyed me in my blue ombre dress. “So, you ready to do this?”
Nell had once again dyed my hair blue, and a waterfall of ringlets fell down my back. Together with my curls, the off-the-shoulder sleeves hid my exposed elemental marks—better than if I’d planned it. The masks hid our clan marks, and for the first time since the ball at the beginning of the year, I asked Nell to leave my mate mark. I wanted Rage or Justice to see I wasn’t ashamed to be bound to him. If he didn’t feel the same, no more wood runs, no more masked balls—no more.
Reaching up, I pulled my white pearl and jeweled mask on and then headed out with the girls. Whatever we’d had was over. Time to break the news to my mate.
The entire island glowed with magic tonight. Lanterns and candles lit every pathway. Students and teachers, dressed to the nines, laughed and joked. Everyone was dressed up, even the guards. They stood like sentinels on the pathway, holding swords, in black masks and tuxedos.
After returning from Dark Row, Justice didn’t ask again about the masquerade, didn’t follow up to make sure I’d be here. He’d ghosted me, which only served to make tonight easier.
After giving a drop of blood to the masquerade-chalice to ensure I would not make out with Nolan, the masked-man magicked our voices, and then we stepped inside the atrium.
The ceiling had been retracted, revealing a sky filled with twinkling stars. Slow music played over a speaker system, and I scanned the crowd.
This party was bigger. Much bigger.
I started to count and realized this wasn’t just students. With over two hundred people here, the packs must’ve sent in some of their members from the outskirts of the island.
“Our other siblings and packmates are here tonight too. Usually, Samhain isn’t masquerade, but the princes made the rule. Now, I know why.” Kaja winked.