“Aghh,” I panted as his length pressed against me. He pulled down on my body, adding more pressure between my legs.
“There’s no one to interrupt us this time. You need to tell me no now if you don’t want to do this.” His voice was thick and gravelly. I rolled my hips as his hand went into my hair and fisted. “Not like this.” His arms tightened as he moved me farther up the bed, lying down on top of me. The length of his hardness pressing against me set my body on fire. His mouth was on mine again, kissing me with a forcefulness I had never experienced. My lips felt swollen and tender against his as his fingers trailed up my side, pushing my tank top up and leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. His thumb rolled over my nipple, causing it to harden, and I pushed my chest into his touch as he rocked against me.
My fingers gripped his muscular shoulders, my nails pressing into his flesh. “I want this. I want you.” I moaned as he lifted his weight slightly to pull my shirt up farther, so our naked flesh touched.
“Patience, little one. I want to take my time with you.” He trailed kisses along my jaw to the sensitive spot just below my ear. “I want to taste every inch of you.” The tip of his tongue ran over the shell of my ear as he whispered, “You’re such a pretty little thing.”
“Don’t…don’t say that,” I panted, pushing against his shoulders.
His lifted his head and looked me in the eye, his face somber. “You remember a lot more than you let on.”
Chapter 25 - Colin
I could see the fear in her wide eyes as she looked up at me like a deer cornered by a predator, hoping its insatiable hunger would be overpowered by a sudden moral justness. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on. The things I’d experienced as a child had changed me. It wasn’t an excuse; it was a fact that I’d had come to terms with a long time ago. I wasn’t proud of my overwhelming desire to control, manipulate, and dominate. But I enjoyed it. Still, I was torn when it came to Annie. I wanted to protect her, just not as badly as I wanted to f**k her.
Own her.
Possess her.
“Annie…” I began to lift myself off her, desperate to gain a little distance and hopefully some clarity. “This is a mistake. You’re not the type of girl…” My voice trailed off at the memory of her pressed against my bedroom wall. My gaze fell to Annie’s naked chest as her heavy breathing was causing it to rise and fall rapidly. My c**k strained against my jeans, and my evil thoughts were winning against the good. They always did. Annie raised her hand and tentatively touched my chest, warmth spreading across my skin. I grabbed her wrist and pinned it beside her head as I dropped my hips back down on her, causing her to gasp in shock. I couldn’t make love to her. There was only one way I could take her, and she deserved so much better.
“You have no idea what you’re doing.” I skimmed my nose along her jaw as I breathed in the sweet honey smell of her skin. “Please don’t let me do this to you,” I whispered, my lips moving against the soft flesh of her neck. I could feel her pulse racing, and it only amplified my desire for her. I wanted her to fight, to tell me not to do these things, but it wouldn’t stop them from happening. It was inevitable. I closed my eyes; the forbidden nature of our encounter was something I had dreamed about since the day she had caught me in the shower, and if I was honest, since our lives first intertwined. It was always meant to be this way. She was always meant to be mine.
“You don’t want me?” she asked, and my eyes snapped open at the sadness and need in her small voice.
“You have no idea how badly I want you. You’re all I want, but you deserve so much more.” It was almost painful to say the words out loud. “I want you to stay pure. You’re an innocent, untainted soul.” I brushed my nose against hers. At least if she fought against me she would be a victim and not an accomplice to my immorality.
“I’m not innocent, Colin.” She took her free hand and slowly slid it over her breast as she looked me in the eye, her teeth grazing her lower lip. I let my eyes skim lower, watching as her trembling fingers slid over her creamy skin. I knew I no longer had a choice. I was going to take her, and I hoped I’d be able to control myself enough not to hurt her, although the damage would be done either way.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me.” I released her wrist and sat up with my knees on either side of her body. My hands fell to the button of my jeans, and her eyes followed. Her hand stilled on her chest as she watched me warily.
“I trust you,” she said as I slid my zipper down slowly.
“Don’t.” I pushed my hand down beneath my boxer briefs and gripped my hardened c**k in my fist, a shuddering sigh escaping my lips.
Annie lifted up on her elbows, her eyes questioning as she met mine under dusty lashes. I was curious to see how far she was willing to go to prove to me that she could handle this—that is, until she realized she deserved better. I ran my hand over her soft blond curls, letting the silken strands slip through my fingers. “What’s wrong?” I twisted a lock around my finger and closed my fist.
“I just…” Her voice trailed off, and her gaze went unfocused, second-guessing herself. It was something I’d seen a dozen times before. It wasn’t as easy for others to accept the darker side of themselves. Most liked to cling to the notion that hesitation still marked the presence of morality. Deep down we were all just selfish animals. We liked to take…or be taken. Annie had learned very young that sexual acts weren’t always consensual or out of want, but her ultimate enjoyment of what we were forced to do had shaped how she would forever view sex, view me.
I tightened my fist and pulled down gently, angling her head up to mine as I sank closer to her face. “Do you want me to take away your choice?” My voice was low, thick with desire.
Her eyes darted to the side, but I didn’t miss the wave of shame. I gave a more forceful tug with my fist, and her eyes flicked back to mine. “Little one.” It was a natural part of who she was. That was why she struggled to play the role of popular rich girl. She wasn’t a leader; she wanted to follow. She wanted to hide behind her resistance in order to mask her guilt.
I inched my face closer, her heavy breaths blowing over my lips. “Lie down,” I growled as I pulled backward, bringing her head to the pillow. I let my boxer briefs slide back over me as I reached for the button of her jeans. I glared at her, daring her to tell me to stop. It was the grown-up version of the game we’d played all those years ago.
Her fingers slid over her stomach, covering the button in a feigned attempt to stop me. I knocked her hand away as I slid the zipper down, revealing pale yellow cotton panties. “You’ll have to do better than that.” I traced the edge of her underwear with my finger, pulling down the fabric slightly.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.” She grabbed my wrist, and I smirked as I gripped either side of her jeans at the hips. I yanked hard, nearly pulling them completely down and exposing her. She struggled to push my hands away, raising her hips slightly, which only aided me in undressing her. I pressed my lips gently to the smooth exposed flesh just above her mound, taking my time in unwrapping the gift she was giving me. She whimpered, and her hips stilled as she ran her fingers through my hair, her eyes closed.
“I want to taste you.” I slowly pulled the jeans down farther. Her hands covered her pu**y, still concealed by her underwear. I glanced up her body, breathing in the scent of her secret lust as I pulled her hands away and softly pressed my lips against the thin fabric. Trust was important in the dangerous game we were playing. It normally took weeks or months, but Annie and I’d had a lifetime. “Shh,” I breathed as her body shuddered, the air of my words cooling the sensitive wet flesh beneath the cotton. I pressed my lips against her again, and she writhed beneath me.
I grabbed her pants and pulled them down forcefully, tossing them on the floor. She brought her legs together to hide herself. I placed my palm on her belly and slid my hand up between her br**sts, revealing in the feel of her rapid heartbeat. “Take your shirt off.” The tips of my fingers slid under the fabric still bunched under her neck. I slid farther up and over her collarbone, gripping her throat slightly. “I told you to do something.” She lifted her hands, never breaking eye contact as she pulled it over her head, her blond curls splayed out against her pillow with her lips parted. “Good girl.”
Her breath hitched, and I made a mental note that she enjoyed being praised. Amanda had a taste for being called vile names and told how worthless she was. I guess coming from her side of the tracks it was an adventure to lie down with evil. Even if Annie blocked out most of the past, it was the positive that she craved, forever seeking out reassurance that she was a good person. It was a sick twist of the human psyche that I’d learned to exploit so well.
I slid off the bed and pushed down my jeans and boxer briefs before climbing over her, nudging her knees apart and settling between them. My painfully hardened c**k pressed against her damp underwear.
“Do you remember that night?” I asked, my voice low and gravelly with lust. I rocked my hips against her, and she moaned, her eyes falling closed as her tongue ran out to moisten her lips.
“Just like this,” she whispered, and I lowered my mouth next to her ear.
“I was so worried about you,” I confessed as I rocked my hips again, pressing my length against her clit. “But I could feel how damp your panties were. Just like they are now.”
She inhaled a sharp breath, and I couldn’t help but smile as her eyelids fluttered but didn’t open, much like that night together. “And I knew you were enjoying it as much as I was. It was the first time anyone had wanted me.”
Her hips pushed against mine, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. This night had been a long time coming, and eventually the past would catch up to us. It was only a matter of time. I rocked my hips, pressing hard against her as I groaned. “I wanted you so badly.” My voice trailed off as we built a steady rhythm. “I hated myself for wanting to rip your panties off you.”
Her face turned so our cheeks were pressed together. “I never hated you.”
I pushed myself up on my elbow and slid my hand down the silky skin of her stomach, running the pads of my fingers over the edge of her panties. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth as my fingertips dipped below the fabric, sliding over her soft flesh with featherlight strokes. “I know you don’t hate me, little one.” I moved in small circles over her clit before slipping between her folds and pausing at her entrance. “You love me,” I rasped as I pressed inside her, rewarded by a soft moan as her lip was released from her teeth. She moved herself against my hand, and I watched in awe as this beautiful creature writhed with pleasure from my touch. I slid a second finger inside her, and she was incredibly tight. I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to take her, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying. I needed her more than I needed my next breath.
I pushed farther inside her, twisting my fingers and bending them slightly to hit all the right spots as my thumb ran over her clit.
“And you?” she panted, and I couldn’t help but smile wryly.
“What about me?”
Her eyes fluttered open, and her gaze seemed to reach the depths of my blackened soul. “I mean…do you love me?”
I was used to operating with no conscience, and lack of emotion had kept me from second-guessing decisions that a weaker man would have to contemplate, but this was new for me. For once I was consumed with something other than emptiness or anger, and it scared the hell out of me. When the realization hit me, I was filled with something else—fear. Fear for her, because I could never love anyone more.
“How could you not know?” I rested my forehead against hers. Her body began to buck, but I didn’t want her to come without me inside her. My hand stilled as I inhaled deeply, drowning in the honey scent of her flesh.
All things in my life began and ended with Annabel. My world had always centered on her, and now it had manifested itself into an obsession that was finally going to be my reality. It was overwhelming, all consuming.
I felt euphoric; a drug-free, lust-induced haze washed over me. My fingers looped around the side of her panties, twisting before yanking hard. The fabric bit into her flesh before giving way and tearing, leaving nothing between us.
I pressed the head of my c**k against her, and her legs fell open wider. I ran my thumb over her eyebrow, and the nervous look on her face relaxed.
“I want to hear you say it, little one. Tell me you love me.” I trailed kisses over her jaw, and she tilted her head back, giving me access to her neck.
“I love you, Colin.”
I pressed harder, the head of my c**k slipping inside her. She cried out, and I knew I would have to force myself to take it slow, but like anything that had to do with Annie, it was hard for me not to lose control. Her whole body tensed beneath me, and I struggled to calm my breathing as my hand slid around the base of her throat.
“You lied to me,” I growled, fighting the urge to push all the way inside her.
“I didn’t want you to know.” The corners of her lips tugged down as she struggled to not fall apart beneath me. My fingers flexed against her flesh, her pulse vibrating underneath. “I thought you would think I was too naïve. It’s embarrassing.”
“Knowing that I’m the only one who will ever be inside you is the best gift you could have ever given me.” My teeth grazed her jaw. “But it’s going to hurt.”
Her body jerked as she held back a sob. “I’m scared.” Shame washed over me as my c**k twitched in response to her fear.