“Shh…” I ran my finger over her lips to quiet her as I pressed my mouth against a salty tear that slid over the apple of her cheek. I pushed harder, but I stopped as she tensed. My mouth found hers and she slowly relaxed, getting lost in the moment. I pulled back, pushing my head inside her again, repeating the process until her hips began to rock with mine. I groaned as I pushed farther, my hand grabbing the underside of her thigh and squeezing. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I thrust harder, and she cried out. I growled in response, hating myself for deriving pleasure from her pain. Her arms looped around my neck, and she held my body flush against her own.
“It’s OK, Colin. I can take it.” Her whisper welcoming the darker side of me was all it took for me to lose all self-control.
“Fuck,” I growled as I filled her. She gasped, her grip on me tightening as I held still in order for her body to adjust to mine. I was panting, desperate to come inside her and claim her as mine. That moment was the first time it crossed my mind that we hadn’t used any protection. I’d never had to worry before. The women I had lain with were always on birth control. “Fuck,” I mumbled, not sure I would be able to stop now.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice small and scared as if she had somehow upset me.
“We didn’t use anything,” I panted. “Protection.”
“I…I take the pill. I have since I was sixteen.”
I raised my head to look her in the eye, unable to keep the accusation from my tone. “Why?”
“For…you know…my period. To regulate it.” Her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of rose as embarrassment washed over her.
“Thank f**king God.” I began to move slowly inside her, her thighs squeezing against my hips. As I felt her muscles relax, I began to move faster and push deeper. My fingers tangled in her hair, and my hand curled into a fist. “Fuck,” I moaned as I began to take her the way I had envisioned since that night together at the commune.
I was hard and rough, uninhibited passion. The silver cross necklace I had given her pressed between our bodies, digging into the flesh of my chest. I pressed my lips to hers and f**ked her mouth as I did her body. Her pu**y tightened and released, milking my c**k as her entire body began to vibrate below me.
“I love you. I love you so much,” I repeated the words over and over as she let go, and we both tumbled over the edge of ecstasy together, into the dark abyss of our unknown future.
She winced as I slowly withdrew from her, blood and come smeared over her inner thighs. I loved the idea of her full of my seed, her body secretly carrying around a part of me.
“Don’t move.” I pushed from the bed and made my way into her bathroom. I grabbed a brown washcloth from under the sink and turned on the water, letting it run a few seconds until it grew warm. I dumped some honey-scented body wash from her shower onto the rag and ran it under the water until it lathered up over my fingers.
I quickly ran it over my c**k and cleaned the traces of her ascent into womanhood from my body. I tossed it aside and repeated the process so I would be able to clean her as well.
As I walked back to the bed in the dark, the sight of her naked body in the moonlight caused me to begin to harden again. I knew it would be a while before she was able to handle anything more, but it didn’t stop my mind from wandering.
I slid between her legs and slowly pushed them apart. I ran the washrag against her inner thighs, and she looked down at me, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.
“You are so beautiful,” I whispered into the night as I climbed up the bed. “Sit up,” I commanded. She pushed herself up as she watched me with uncertainty, and I knew she had to be sore. I slid behind her, my legs on either side of her body as I lay back against the headboard. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back against my chest. “Do you hurt?”
She shook her head but didn’t say anything. I slid the warm washcloth down her stomach and between her legs. Her back bowed as the cloth brushed against her sensitive clit. I squeezed the rag, and a few drops of water ran down my fingers and over her as I continued to slowly clean her, my hand moving in circles. Her hips began to push against my hand, and my c**k grew harder against her ass.
“Mmm…” I closed my eyes as her hips continued to rotate against me. “Get some rest. You’ll be sore tomorrow.”
Epilogue - Colin
Obsession by definition is a persistent, disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling. It suits what Annie and I had perfectly. Her voice carried the whispers of my subconscious. Her breath gave me new life. Her submission gave me purpose. There must be goodness to counter evil in order to accurately gauge the weight of the sin. She was my hope, my reflection, my everything.
I pressed a kiss to Annie’s forehead before leaving the room quietly, not wanting to disturb her from her sleep. I felt light and relaxed, but I knew I was depleting that from her. I knew I was going to use up her goodness until I drained her dry and there was nothing left. The idea made my stomach turn, but I was like a junkie needing his next hit. Annabel was my drug of choice.
Crave.
Use.
Crave.
Use.
Destroy.
My heart palpitated, skin flushed and my eyes dilated, trying desperately to take in everything that she was. The beginning and end of all things. The logical side of my brain, the small part of my subconscious left sober, knew it was limerence but it didn’t matter. I craved her just the same.
If I could make her happy, keep her safe, I would redeem myself. I ran my hands roughly through my hair, hating the convoluted path my thoughts were taking. I should be happy, but all I felt was worry in the depths of my stomach that I would somehow take this precious flower and crush her in my palm.
Winning her heart was only a victory for myself. I knew that. But I would try. I had to try to rid my mind of the cancerous past so I could give her the future she deserved.
I paced the floor for hours as I struggled to control my inner demons. They should have died along with my father, but I could still feel them clinging to my soul. Love wasn’t an easy fix. It would take time for me to overcome and change, adapt for her. I sat at the dining room table, empty glass in hand that still held a few lingering drops of whiskey. The stairs creaked under Connor’s weight as he cleared his throat.
“I didn’t think you’d be up,” he said as he walked around me and into the kitchen. He returned with a glass and his gaze fell to the nearly empty whiskey bottle. I picked it up and filled out glasses as he sat down at the head of the table.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Death of your father will do that to you.”
I slid his glass to him and he nodded in appreciation. “That was a long time coming. I only wish it was me who pulled the trigger.” I took a drink, my gums long numb.
“To justice finally being served.” He raised his tumbler before drinking back the amber liquid without flinching. I shook my head, anger with no direction consuming me.
“Where is the justice for Annabel? Her life is ruined. She can’t go back to school.”
“The day I found the two of you along the road, I knew I had to help you. The look in your eye when you told me about Annie was something I had seen in my own nearly twenty years ago. I wasn’t able to save Charlotte, but I knew I could help you save Annabel.”
“Charlotte had cancer. You couldn’t have done anything.”
“That may be, but your situation wasn’t much better. You risked your life for her. I knew there would be a day when you both would stop fighting what was between you.”
“Annie could be saved…” I shook my head as I poured the rest of my drink into my mouth.
“When she needed you, you were always there. You are not your father.”
“I’m not the hero either.”
“I bet she would say differently.” He raised his eyebrow as he spun the glass in his fingers.
“She doesn’t understand.”
“Doesn’t she? She came face to face with Taylor. You had a choice, and once again, you chose her.”
“He ruined me, Connor. He destroyed me.”
“That’s not true, and you proved it again. What is really scaring you, Colin? We both know you would die before you hurt her, so what is really plaguing you?” He leaned forward against the table.
“I can’t give her what she needs.”
“What is it she needs?”
“Love.” My eyes met his and my vision blurred.
“You don’t think what you feel for her is love?”
“I have no idea.”
“Is her face what you see when you go to bed, what you dream of when you sleep?”
“Since the day I met her.”
He smiled and his gaze fell as he thought. “I don’t think that’s your problem at all. I think you’re scared to let her love you back.”
“She deserves better.”
“Love…” He ran his hand over his chin and relaxed back in his chair. “Let me tell you something, son, that I should have told you a long time ago but was too stubborn in my own right to understand. Love isn’t something you can take. You give it, and if you’re lucky, it is given to you. You deserve to be happy.”
“Do you really believe that, knowing what all I have done?”
“If I didn’t you wouldn’t be sitting at this table with me. I may be old, but I would have done whatever needed to be done to keep that girl safe. But you were just a child yourself, Colin. This isn’t your burden to carry.”
I hung my head as I thought about his perception of me. It baffled me that a man that I respected so much could look at me and not see a monster. It was then that I realized I was nothing like Taylor. He never felt any guilt or remorse. He took from people until they had nothing left to give but their lives. I could never do that to Annabel.
Epilogue – Annabel
My body ached and I rolled over, groaning as my hands splayed over empty sheets. My eyes shot open and I looked around the empty room. Colin was gone. My heart began to race as panic set in. Had he left me now too, now that I no longer had to worry about his father? Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and pushed my knotted blonde hair from my face.
“I thought you were gonna sleep all day,” Grace called from my closet, startling me. She walked into the main room with clean clothes in her hands. “Aspirin is on the night stand.”
I looked to my side, and sure enough, there were too small white pills and a bottle of water. I popped them into my mouth and greedily gulped down the water as Grace sat my clothes on the foot of the bed. I cringed as I pulled the sheet further up my chest, wondering if she knew what Colin and I had done together last night.
“Where is Colin?” I asked trying not to sound worried.
“He left a few hours ago. I’ll get breakfast ready.” She walked towards my bedroom door.
“What do you mean he left?”
“He went with Connor to the office. He said he would try to be back before you woke.”
“Oh.”
She smiled and shook her head as she left my room and slowly made her way down the stairs. I hopped from the bed, grimacing at how sore I was and tiptoed into the bathroom to take a quick shower. I stared at myself in the mirror, not looking any different than I had yesterday, but I felt like a completely different person. The cloud that hung over our heads had now lifted.
I washed as quickly as I could and pulled on my clothes, grinning as I heard Colin and Connor downstairs. I rushed down, my cheeks blushed, stopping short of throwing myself into his arms.
“Don’t hold yourself back on my account,” Connor laughed, and I felt my skin grow deeper red. Grace entered the dining room and set two plates on the table before giving Connor a look. “We’ll let you have a minute.” They left the room and Colin motioned for me to take a seat. The stoic expression on his face was killing me. Had I done something wrong? Was last night not as mind blowing for him as it was for me?
He took the seat at the head of the table and picked up his fork, pushing scrambled eggs around before looking up at me. I dropped my fork with a loud clatter.
“All right. Just say it. Spit it out already.”
He laughed, his smile showing in his eyes. “You’re wearing one of your own shirts,” he said with amusement.
“You told me not to wear yours anymore,” I joked back, the tension easing.
“They're yours. Everything is yours,” His voice was deep and gravelly. “I’m yours.”
“It’s about time you figured that out.”
“I have something to tell you,” his smile faded and my heart sank once again. “Taylor wasn’t only good at taking; he also was very good at saving.”
“What do you mean?” I pressed my teeth into my bottom lip, leaning to the side, my body still so sore.
“When they searched the farmhouse, they found a lot of money.” He swallowed hard, his eyes downcast. “The police are considering the case with the Descendants of God closed. The money goes to his next of kin.” He glanced back at me, guilt marring his perfect face. “It’s yours.”
“What? I don’t want your money.”
“It’s not my money,” he spit out each word as if it made him physically ill. “You deserve it.”
“I wasn’t the only one who went through this, Colin.”
“You’re the one who isn’t guilty, Annabel. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”
His words cut through me, and my hand went to my chest as if I’d been physically wounded. “Colin…”