“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he said quickly.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re our guest.” I shuffled around him awkwardly and reached for the dropped blanket. “I’ll take the floor. In the meantime, I thought maybe we could both sit on the bed and talk.”
His arched a brow. “Sit and talk?”
“I’m sure we can manage to keep our hands off each other for a few minutes,” I said, perching on the edge of the mattress. “You’re a gentleman, after all.”
He laughed and sat next to me, leaving a few inches between us. After a moment, his expression turned serious. “I’m not sure this is a good idea, Nor. It feels...dangerous.”
I knew he was right, but I also knew this might be our last night together for a long time. Maybe forever. “Every moment we’ve ever spent together has been more dangerous than this. You can’t be that afraid of my mother.”
“It’s not your mother I’m afraid of,” he said, twining his little finger through mine.
I turned to face him. “It can’t possibly be me.”
He sighed and collapsed back on the bed. “Do you have any idea what torture it is to be this close to you, Nor?”
Teasingly, I scooted closer to him.
“I mean it. It’s taking all of my strength not to kiss you again.”
“Then kiss me.” I leaned over him and blew out the lantern on the nightstand. “No one will know but us.”
He only hesitated a moment before pulling me down to his chest. “When we’re married—”
The word was like a cold bucket of water on the warmth spreading throughout my body. “Married?”
He sat up next to me. “I was hoping, when all of this is over...”
I twisted my braid over my shoulder, my stomach strangely unsettled. When I had been trapped in New Castle, doomed to a life with Ceren, the idea of marrying Talin seemed as lovely and improbable as a fairy tale. But we’d never spoken about it before, and I didn’t want to imagine anything beyond this moment.
He let out a small puff of laughter when he saw my expression. “I don’t mean tomorrow, Nor. Or even the week after. I just... I want to be with you.” He ducked his head, avoiding my eyes. “I thought that was what you wanted, too.”
“It is,” I replied, before I had even gathered my thoughts. It was true. Gods, with his heat seeping through my thin shift and the scent of him all around me, I wanted it more than ever. But I would never go back to New Castle, where every dark corridor and cold chamber held another terrible memory, not even if Ceren was dead. And there was still so much of the world I hadn’t seen...
“Hey.” Talin brushed my hair off my shoulder and leaned down to kiss the exposed skin. “I can see that mind of yours racing. I’m sorry I said anything. Being with you right here, right now, is enough.”
He lay back down, and I snuggled against him. “I’m sorry I reacted that way. You caught me off guard, that’s all.”
He sighed, a soft breeze against my cheek. “Then let’s talk about something else. Whatever you want.”
“Tell me about your childhood,” I said, twining my fingers through his. “Tell me about what you were like as a boy.”
As Talin told me stories of his childhood, the tension between us eased. His chest shook with laughter when he remembered the trouble he got into with his friends, and I found myself laughing along with him, sharing my own misadventures after the incident, when my scar had granted me the freedom to be more reckless.
Underlying everything was Talin’s fierce loyalty to his mother, which made me respect him even more. After all, it was my loyalty to Zadie that had brought us together. I would do anything for the people I loved, and so would Talin.
As we held each other, our limbs tangled in the small bed, I wondered if this was what Talin envisioned for our future: long nights spent talking and laughing, sharing feelings and kisses and secret desires. I remembered what Father had said about contentment. In this moment, I thought I knew what that meant. It felt like safety and acceptance, and Thalos knew those were things I’d gone too long without.
But as I listened to Talin’s heartbeat slow into sleep and watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, I had the nagging feeling that something was missing. I could envision our nights, but what about our days? Talin would be busy helping rule a kingdom, and where would that leave me? Knitting shawls and gossiping with the ladies at court? The thought made me shudder, and Talin’s arms circled tighter around me.
I wriggled until he released me and I could breathe again, but sleep was as elusive as a golden nautilus. I couldn’t fight the feeling that maybe Father was right.
Maybe contentment wasn’t what I was searching for after all.
5
Exhaustion must have finally claimed me, because I woke in the morning to find Talin wasn’t beside me. I could see him through the doorway leading to the balcony, framed by the golds and soft oranges of another perfect sunrise.
I pulled the blanket off the bed and went to join him, wrapping us both in the soft fabric. “It’s a beautiful view, isn’t it?”
Talin didn’t respond, and I glanced up to see his eyes narrowed in concentration. I followed his gaze to a small dot on the horizon.
“Who is that?”
“Your father?” he ventured.
I ran inside to get the bronze spyglass I had salvaged from a shipwreck years ago and hurried back to his side.
“Too large,” I said, raising the glass to my eye. “That ship has sails.” I handed the spyglass to Talin. “Do you recognize it?”
He lowered the glass and placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’s my ship.”
I released my breath. “That’s good news.”
But Talin didn’t look convinced. “Is it? They were supposed to wait for my signal, not come on their own.”
“Maybe Grig gets more seasick than you thought,” I joked, though my stomach was beginning to twist with worry. I went back into the house, where my mother and sister looked at us questioningly. “It’s Talin’s ship,” I explained. “The two of us will take the boat out to meet them. They won’t be able to get past the reef.”
After Mother and Zadie agreed to stay behind in case Father returned, I rowed us out to the small sailing vessel. When we pulled alongside it, I looked up to see Grig and Osius leaning over the railing, waving.
“Come aboard,” Osius called, tossing a rope ladder over the railing. “We have news.”
Talin nodded and held the ladder steady for me so I could climb up ahead of him. As soon as I was on board, Grig and Osius bowed, though Grig couldn’t hide his smile.