“Enough with the formalities,” I said, pulling them both into a hug. They had always looked after me at New Castle, and I was genuinely happy to see them.
“My lady,” Osius said, remaining his formal self even as I squeezed him tightly. “I’m glad to see you looking so well.”
“And you.” I glanced sympathetically at Grig, who had dark circles under his eyes. “Was it a terrible night?”
“I’ve slept better, my lady. But I’ll be fine, just as soon as we return to solid ground.” He extended a hand to Talin, who grasped it and stepped up onto the deck next to me.
“We worried when you didn’t return yesterday,” Osius said. “We were afraid something had happened to you.”
Talin clapped him on the back, offering a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry for worrying you, but I had a much better offer of accommodation for the night. And the company was too good to refuse.” He smiled at me, but I caught the strain in his eyes as he turned back to Osius. “Did you just come to check on me, or do you have news?”
Grig looked to Osius, who cleared his throat. “One of the men we paid back at the port was just here. He rowed all night to tell us that Ceren and his men are looking to commandeer a ship.”
My blood whooshed in my ears. I had known Ceren might come for us eventually, but I had hoped we’d have more time. I thought of the vision, of the blood staining Ceren’s pale lips, and I knew this wasn’t about Talin. Revenge could wait; he was coming for me.
“I suggest we leave immediately,” Osius added. “While we still have the advantage of time.”
“I have to go back!” I blurted. “I promised I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Father, and I can’t go without telling Zadie.”
A muscle ticked in Talin’s jaw, but he nodded. “Very well, but we have to move quickly.”
“Thank you,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“Grig, Osius, you’ll wait with the ship.” Talin slipped into his role as commander seamlessly. “We’ll be back as soon as possible. Be ready to sail when I return.”
I rowed us back to Varenia as fast as I could, my mind racing as I thought through what I needed to gather and wondered how quickly we could get back to Talin’s ship. In the end, there was really only one thing important enough to bring with me.
“I want my family to come with us,” I told Talin.
His brow furrowed in response. “Nor, you saw how small the ship is. It can only carry five or six people safely. Between the captain and the crew member, Osius, Grig, and me...” He trailed off as my face began to fall.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “My mother put on a brave face for you, but the situation is more dire than you know. There are babies starving. My father is out there risking his life to provide for us. I may not be able to help the rest of Varenia, but I can’t just leave them to die.”
“Nor—”
Talin reached for me, but we were close to my house, and I leaned away to grab on to a pillar. I rushed up the ladder, convinced Talin was wrong. My family was small. We’d find a way to fit.
“What is it?” Zadie asked as I pushed through the trapdoor.
“Ceren’s men are close. We have to go to keep them from coming to Varenia. But...” I looked to my mother, who bravely lifted her chin without even knowing what I was about to say. “Is Father back?”
Zadie shook her head. “Not yet.”
My heart sank at the realization that I would not be able to keep my promise to wait for Father. How could I leave without saying goodbye?
Talin had emerged through the trapdoor behind me, and he placed his hand gently on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, but we have to go.”
I looked at him, sure he would change his mind about bringing my family when he saw the anguish on my face.
“If we take them, we might not be able to outrun Ceren’s ship,” he said quietly. “It would put them in even more danger.”
Mother stepped closer to me and touched my forearm. “You should go, Nor. Your father would want you to be safe.” She swallowed thickly. “I want you to be safe.”
“I can’t leave you,” I said, my voice breaking.
She nodded. “Yes, you can.” Tears streamed down her cheeks for the second time in as many days, and I felt the part of me that had hardened against Mother’s cruelty begin to crack. She placed her forehead against mine. “I was wrong to doubt you before. I won’t make that mistake again.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and before she could stop me, I wrapped my arms around my mother and squeezed her as tight as I could. She hadn’t embraced me since I was a child, but slowly, I felt her arms come up around me.
“I’ll stay,” she said. “And wait for your father. We’ll be fine.”
I released her and nodded, even though I knew we were both pretending. I could see my fear reflected in her eyes.
I reached for Zadie’s hand and bit my lip to keep from sobbing. Leaving my parents was almost too much to bear; I could not go without my sister.
But Zadie’s back was straight, her chin set at the same stubborn angle as Mother’s, when she looked at Talin and said, “Nor and I together weigh little more than one man. I’m sure you can find room for both of us.”
Mother stepped next to her and took a shuddering breath before nodding once.
To his credit, Talin didn’t even attempt to argue. “All right.”
“It’s going to be dangerous,” I said to Zadie, though relief coursed through me. “Ceren will come after me.”
“I won’t lose you again, Nor. Besides, I have to find Sami.” She turned to Mother. “Are you sure you’ll be all right without us?”
Mother, once again cool and self-possessed, folded her arms across her chest. “Of course we will.”
Zadie and I each kissed one of her cheeks, and for a brief moment, she pressed her hand to my face, her finger brushing over my scar. It was the first time she’d touched me there since the incident. A soft sob escaped me as her hand fell away. I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed that one simple gesture.
“Nor, please.” Talin was already at the trapdoor, holding it open for us.
I nodded and turned away from Mother, afraid that if I looked back, I wouldn’t be able to leave. Our relationship would never fully heal, but I was grateful that this time, at least, I had the chance to say goodbye.
As I dropped into the boat next to Zadie, I looked up at the horizon and gasped. Beyond Talin’s tiny ship, a much larger ship loomed, and a fear I hadn’t felt since I ran from New Castle washed over me.