I widen my eyes teasingly, happy we’re back in territory I’m comfortable with. “Because I’m awesome.”
He gives me a playful shove. “Yeah, Raven, you kinda are.” His eyes fall another minute before coming back to mine, a newfound softness to them he’s yet to show. “I heard about your little run-in with her, that’s how we knew you were still ours.”
I look away with a shrug, doing my best to keep my emotions in check.
“Raven.”
“I said stop. It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh, it is a big deal, but fine. I’ll stop.” He laughs, searching out my eyes again. A heavy exhale leaving him. “We weren’t ready for you, Raven Carver. We weren’t fucking ready.”
I shift my frown to the city below again, dismissing his words. “Wanna go in now? You can make me a cup of coffee in that fancy machine in there. I’m freezing, in need of caffeine, and I have no idea what to do with all those buttons.”
With a light touch to my shoulders, he turns me around to face the room.
Maddoc is in the little kitchen-like area, leaning against the countertop, a hot cup of coffee at his lips and one right in front of him. Eyes on me.
I turn back to Captain.
He smiles, and even though he’s still got a lot to work out, I can tell he’s lighter right now than he’s been in weeks. He winks, and I move toward Maddoc.
Maddoc pushes to stand at his full height as I grow closer, and when I reach him, he nods to my cup, but before I can even make a move to pick it up, he grips my chin between his knuckles and holds my face still.
He drops down, bringing his mouth to my ear. He grazes his lips across the sensitive skin beneath it before whispering, “You keep this up, and I might have to do something real crazy, like lock you in my room and throw away the key.”
“Keep what up?” I murmur against his chest.
“Fixing us. Making us better. Making us stronger.”
My throat closes, and a frown pulls at my brows.
He keeps going. “You recognize what we need and when, like you’ve known us all your life. You’re connected to us, and that’s not something we’ll ever be willing to let go of, Raven. Never. None of us. No matter fucking what.”
They’ll never let you go. Not now that they have you. My mother’s words slam me in the face and I tense.
He feels it and pulls back to look at me, a scowl in place.
“Shut shit down in your head, Raven. Now,” he warns, picking up my cup, and handing it to me.
“What if I decide I don’t wanna stay?” I ask even though that’s the farthest thing from the truth at this point.
A slow smirk stretches across his lips and he pushes against me. “I’ll pretend you have a choice, and say it’ll be a damn good time convincing you, too.”
I glare. “I hope you know if I wanted to leave, you couldn’t stop me.”
With an airy chuckle, he moves past me, throwing over his shoulder, “Keep believing that if it makes you feel better. Either way, you stay.”
Sexy bossy bastard.
As soon as everyone got up and dressed, we took our time, jacked around a bit, before hitting the road and driving through the night.
The sun is only starting to rise when we make it back.
As soon as we pull through the tree line, Maybell steps out the front door of the mansion.
Bitterness fills me.
Even though she owes me nothing, I can’t help but feel a sense of betrayal by her.
I’m not stupid, I know she knew what I was walking into at the courthouse. I’d bet she knew the entire story and more. It was in the way her eyes hesitated, all the cryptic things she’d say to me, her allowing me to move in with the boys. Yes, she can’t exactly control them, but she was a little too happy to watch it happen.
And I’m pretty damn sure she already knew Ms. Vega, even though the day I was dropped off by my probably not a social worker social worker they acted as if they’d only just met.
She starts toward us, opening her arms for Maddoc to walk into.
He kisses her hair and she pats his back, moving to cup his face when she steps back. “You okay, boy?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She tears up, taps his cheek and moves to hug each of the boys.
Maybell takes a deep breath before she turns to me.
I can’t help it, I know I’m wearing a frown of some sort, but I no longer trust the woman in front of me, not that I ever did. I guess what I mean is I wanted to, but now I know I shouldn’t.
I can’t trust her just because they do. There can be no free pass.
The weight of the boys’ stares has me wanting to look to them, but I won’t make this easy on her by breaking contact.
“I’d like to talk to, Raven. Alone,” she says.
The wrinkles framing her eyes become more profound when all three hesitate a moment before walking in the house.
I waste no time. “You knew and you let me get ambushed.”
“I learned along the way,” she admits. “Suspected a bit when I saw where you were coming from, and then I pieced it all together. Once I opened my eyes, it was clear.”
“You’re being real careful with your words right now, Maybell. You’re afraid to speak openly because you’re not so sure what all we figured out.”
She doesn’t deny it. “Everything I do or don’t do is for those boys.”
Right. Because that is where her loyalty lays, as it should. I’m just the outsider, something I need to be sure to remember when others are involved.
“You can’t ask me not to tell them you hid this.”
She nods earnestly. “I know, and I won’t.” She steps closer with sad eyes. “Just like you won’t tell them because you know I had no vicious intent. I love them and you see that.”
“No good will come of lies.”
“I know. And tell them if you need to, but I think it’s irrelevant at this point. I know it hurt you in the end, but it helped my boys, and that’s what I needed to happen. I’m sorry, child.” Her eyelids slope. “It won’t be fun being caught in the middle of this.”
Won’t be fun, as in there’s still more to come?
“He bought me from her and fed me to his sons.”
“And you don’t exactly hate the outcome, do you?”
“I—” My mouth clamps shut.
Well, shit. No. I don’t. Much prefer it, in fact.
But who the hell knows what Rolland Brayshaw has planned for me.
I look back to Maybell, who reaches up and gently palms my cheek. “Don’t let that woman’s words play tricks in your mind, child, you’re smarter than that. I told you once before, you belonged. I asked you to start believing it and you have. Keep pushing back at the nagging inside telling you it’s not right. It is. But, Raven. It’s also not over. There’s a long road ahead, more to learn, more challenges to face.”
“Like what?”
“In time, child.” She steps back. “Go on inside, they’ve been waiting to have you home, but then everything happened with Maddoc and still it wasn’t right. You’re all here, now. Your man, and his brothers. Go, and try to love them like they love you.”