The Accidental Vampire

The sound of shouting made Victor scowl as he opened Elvi's bedroom door. DJ and Teddy Brunswick's arguing had woken him earlier and he'd crawled out of bed to break it up. It had taken several minutes for him to convince Brunswick that Mabel was fine and DJ hadn't done anything she hadn't wished. By the time the officer had finally left, Victor had been wide awake. Knowing it would be useless to go back to bed, he'd headed off to take a shower. Now he was dressed and ready to face the day, but the shouting had started up again.

Victor's immediate reaction was irritation, but that turned into surprise and then concern as he stepped into the hall and realized it wasn't DJ and a returned Teddy doing the yelling, but Harper. Just then, the German came crashing down the stairs from the third floor, and charged by shouting about something being on fire in the backyard.

Victor stared after the man with amazement... until his brain digested what the man was yelling about.

Something on fire? In the backyard?

"Where's Elvi?!" Victor roared with sudden panic, and immediately chased after Harper. He was positive that if there was trouble, that was where he'd find Elvi.

He raced out onto the deck, pausing at the sight of the small shed at the back of the yard on fire. One whole side was a wall of flames. He heard a muffled shout and several thuds and felt his blood run cold. Someone was inside the burning shack. It didn't take two guesses to know who it must be.

Not bothering with the stairs, Victor left Harper to wrestle with the garden hose and charged, leaping up and over the railing that ran around the deck. He was at the shed door in barely more than a heartbeat. There was a shovel jammed against the handle, blocking it closed. Victor kicked it aside with his foot even as he reached for the handle.

He pulled the door open and started to step in, only to grunt and stumble back as a smoking bundle crashed into his chest. It appeared Elvi had decided to rush the door just as he opened it. Unprepared, Victor lurched several steps backward, his arms closing around her even as he did. They both cried out as he crashed into the birdbath and sent it tumbling as they crashed to the ground.

Victor grunted as his back slammed into the dirt, cursed in pain as Elvi came down, her knee landing bull's-eye on his groin, then simply whimpered like a baby when she realized what had happened and quickly slid off him, only to have the still flipping birdbath finish its own fall by allowing the base to take her place, crushing his testicles.

"Victor?" Elvi's anxious voice sounded by his ear. "Are you all right?"

Stars exploding behind his eyes and body racked with pain that radiated out from his groin, Victor lay completely still and merely groaned, amazed that he was able to do so. He followed that with a moan when water began to pour over him.

"No, Harper!" Elvi cried by his ear. "You have to set it to jet! It isn't reaching the shed! You're getting us! Set it to jet!"

"What the hell happened here?"

Victor recognized Teddy Brunswick's voice, but didn't bother to open his eyes or look around. He just lay where he was, waiting for his body to stop protesting the abuse it had received.

"Victor?" DJ's voice sounded anxious as it neared. "Are you all right?"

"What happened?" Edward asked.

"Was anyone hurt?" Alessandro's question almost had Victor opening his eyes in disbelief, but it seemed like too much effort, so he stayed as he was.

"I've got it! Out of the way!" That voice belonged to Mike Knight, the fire chief and Elvi's neighbor. Recognizing it, Victor didn't immediately open his eyes. It wasn't until he heard the hissing sound that followed the man's authoritative shout that Victor popped his eyes open to see Elvi's mortal neighbor was the only one who had been sensible enough to bring a fire extinguisher to the party.

A disappointed sigh to his side drew Victor's gaze to Harper to see the immortal standing, shoulders slumped, the dripping garden hose in his hands. The hose itself was a tangled mass straggling between the deck and where he stood. It seemed in his rush to be of assistance, he'd somehow tangled up the hose and hadn't been able to reach the back of the yard with the spray.

That explained the small shower he'd got, Victor supposed.

A rustle at his side drew his gaze to Elvi as she sat up beside him to watch Mike finish putting out the fire. Her face was streaked with soot, and her hat and clothing a bit singed, but she appeared all right otherwise. However, he'd already expected as much. Her voice had been strong both times she'd spoken since their crash landing.

His gaze shifted to the birdbath still lying on top of him and Victor grimaced. It had done some real damage. If he were mortal, there would be some question as to whether he would ever have more children. Fortunately, he wasn't mortal. Victor reached down and pushed the birdbath off.

Elvi immediately turned to peer at him. Managing a worried smile, she leaned over and placed one hand on his cheek as she asked, "How are you? Are you all right? I think you got the wind knocked out of you."

Before Victor could respond, Teddy appeared behind her, his wrinkled face grim as he peered down at them. "What happened?"

"What are you doing here?" Victor asked instead of answering. "You left a good fifteen minutes ago."

Brunswick's eyebrows rose at the question, but he answered calmly enough. "I was almost back to the station when I realized I left the blood bank cooler here. So I turned back and saw the smoke about two blocks away. I hit the siren, radioed the fire department, put my foot down and pulled up just in time to see you and Elvi crash over the birdbath."

Victor narrowed his eyes, concentrating on the man's thoughts, but relaxed when he found Brunswick was telling the truth. He wasn't the mortal who had set the fire. That left-

"It's out," Mike Knight announced, approaching the small group gathered around Victor and Elvi. "It's still hot, though. I'll have the men give her a spray down when they get here just to be sure she doesn't start back up. There they are now," he added, glancing toward the driveway as a red fire truck pulled in, siren blaring.

Victor didn't glance toward the driveway. His attention was now focused on Mike's thoughts, sifting through his memories of the last few minutes to find that Elvi's neighbor had been inside changing his clothes after spilling weed spray on himself when his wife had yelled from the kitchen that Elvi's shed was on fire. The fire chief had tugged on a T-shirt as he ran from the room, stopping only to grab the fire extinguisher before running around the two fenced properties to get to the backyard and the burning shed. He hadn't set the fire either.

Victor relaxed back where he lay, frowning over who it could have been, but stilled when he saw the way Elvi was eyeing him.

"Why don't you go find Father O'Flaherty and read his mind too?" she asked sarcastically, obviously guessing what he'd been doing. "The church is just up the street."

When Vincent's eyes sharpened with interest at this news, she threw her hands up with disgust and hissed, "It was an accident."

"It wasn't a damned accident," Victor snapped.

"Of course it was," she insisted. "No one in Port Henry would want to hurt me."

"She's right, son," Brunswick informed him. "Everyone here loves Elvi."

"See?" Elvi said with a smile for Teddy for backing her up.

Victor merely scowled and turned his gaze to the fire chief. "Knight?"

"Well, I'm sure no one would want to hurt Elvi," he agreed, and then shifted uncomfortably. "But I smelled gasoline while I was putting it out."

"Gasoline?" Elvi asked with dismay. Apparently, she hadn't noticed the pungent scent, but then she'd probably been a bit distracted with trying to get out, he acknowledged.

"I'm afraid so, Elvi," Mike said, and then muttered that he had to speak to his men and hurried toward the driveway as several uniformed firefighters jumped from their trucks and began to unravel their hoses.

"Now will you admit that someone is out to get you?" Victor asked wearily.

"But no one would want to hurt me," Elvi protested. "It had to be an accident."

Victor's eyes popped back open. Incensed by her continued denial, he roared, "Goddammit woman! Someone doesn't jam a shovel against the shed door to lock you in, pour gasoline down the side wall, and strike a match by accident. Someone is trying to kill you."

Elvi's eyes widened at the explanation for why she hadn't been able to open the door, but before she could say anything, he went on, "And you can stop glaring at me for reading your friends. Of course I suspect them. It's a mortal attacking you."

Elvi's mouth tightened. "You don't know that for sure."

"Yes, I do," he snarled. "Only a mortal would try to kill you by shooting an arrow through your back. And, only an idiot mortal could fail at killing someone who was so eager to throw herself into danger."

Elvi stiffened. "Some of my best friends are mortals, Victor, and they are not idiots. Besides, coming out to work in the garden is hardly throwing myself into danger."

"The hell it isn't!" he snapped, and then added, "You shouldn't have been out here in the first place. You should have been in bed. Mabel nearly took your head off last night. You had a terrible wound and lost a lot of blood. And you took an arrow in the back not long before that! You shouldn't be doing anything but recuperating. But are you? No, not Elvi Black. You have to hop out of bed and rush out here and try to get yourself killed again!"

"Now just a cotton pickin' minute here." Brunswick glanced from Victor to Elvi and back before settling on Elvi as he asked, "Mabel ripped your throat out? Someone shot you in the back? What the hell has been going on around here, Ellen Stone?"

"Ellen Stone?" Harper echoed with confusion.

"It's her real name," DJ explained, obviously having learned this from Mabel. "She was born Ellen Black, took her husband's name Stone when they married, then reverted to her maiden name after the turning."

"Then why does everyone call her Elvi?" Edward asked.

"I'm asking the questions right now," Brunswick barked, and then raised an eyebrow at Elvi. "Why the hell didn't you tell me what was going on? I'm the police captain here. You should have told me."

"She should have stayed in bed where she was safe," Victor snapped as Mike rejoined them.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Victor, Ellen," Edward said, emphasizing the name. "You have a dreadful tendency to get yourself into trouble. I really think the best place for you is indoors until we men solve this matter."

"There is no we" Brunswick said coldly. "I'm the cop. This is my town. You're just visitors here. I'll solve it... Now that I know it's happening," he added with another glare at Elvi.

"If you'd at least told me what was happening, Elvi, I could have kept an eye out for anyone skulking around," Mike added.

Elvi peered at the angry male faces surrounding her for a moment and then stood up and pushed her way through them, muttering, "I have some pies in the oven I need to check on."

"Well done, gentlemen," Harper murmured as they watched her make her way into the house, her posture defeated. "Attacking the victim is always very effective."

Victor glanced at the German sharply, and then let his head drop back to the ground with a sigh as he realized that was exactly what he'd done. Worse yet, he hadn't just attacked her, he'd blamed her. He hadn't meant to, but the whole thing had terrified the hell out of him. When he'd realized that Elvi was trapped in the burning shed it had been Marion all over again. Victor hadn't been there to witness his first wife's death, but he'd heard about it and had nightmares ever since. He couldn't lose Elvi to fire too. He couldn't lose her at all. She had become the most important thing in his life. He wouldn't lose her now.

"Well, hell!" Brunswick ran an agitated hand through his thinning hair. "I suppose we owe her an apology."

"I'd say so," Harper agreed.

"Well, come on then, Argeneau," he said, turning away. "We may as well get it over with before she gets herself upset enough to start crying or some other female thing. I hate a crying woman. Elvi isn't usually like that, but she's been through a lot lately and..." Brunswick paused and turned back as he realized no one had followed him. Victor still lay on the ground and the rest of the men were staring at him silently.

"What is it? Can't you get up?" Brunswick returned to join the circle of men.

"Not at the moment, no," Victor admitted calmly.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" He dropped to his haunches at his side. "Where are you hurt? Let me have a look."

"I don't think so," Victor said dryly.

"I think the birdbath, she landed on his..."Alessandro glanced to Harper and Edward for help. "How you say? Bowls?"

"The birdbath landed on his groin," Edward said with exasperation.

"Oh." Brunswick pulled back, obviously no more willing to look at the wound than Victor was to have him look.

"Si." Alessandro nodded. "I hear something pop when she hit. I think he be very sorely hurt."

"Thank you, Alessandro," Victor said dryly.

"What do we do?" Mike Knight asked.

"We wait," Harper said with a shrug. "It will heal itself. It just takes time. He probably won't feel much like moving until it does, though."

"And he'll need to feed," Edward murmured.

"It's a good thing I brought more blood, then," Brunswick commented.

The immortals merely exchanged glances and then turned to peer toward the firemen. They had finished spraying down the shed and were now putting away their equipment.

"Mike," Harper said suddenly. "I think you should take Teddy over to examine the shed for evidence."

Mike glanced at him with surprise. "I... Yes," he said suddenly, his face going slack. Turning he walked to the shed and stood facing it. When Harper then turned his gaze on Brunswick, the police captain followed. The two men stood silent and still, staring at the burnt shed in silence.

"I shall fetch your dinner," Edward said, turning to head for the firemen.

"I'll help." Alessandro hurried after him.

"Thanks," Victor breathed, closing his eyes.

Elvi scowled out her sunroom window at the men still congregated in her backyard. She'd come inside, switched the cooked pies in the oven for three uncooked ones, then come upstairs to shower. A glance out the bathroom window while she waited for the water temperature to warm up had shown Teddy and Mike standing staring at the shed while the rest of the men, including the firemen, stood in a circle around Victor. One of the firemen had been kneeling beside him, checking him over, Elvi supposed.

She'd actually worried for an instant that he'd been more seriously injured than she'd realized, but had refused to go find out just to get yelled at again. Instead, she'd got into the shower to wash away the smoke and soot, telling herself he was fine.

But he was still out there, lying on the ground. Though, Elvi noted, the firemen were now gone and Teddy and Mike had rejoined the smaller circle of men. As she watched, Victor sat up slowly, and then accepted the hand DJ held out to help him rise. He got cautiously to his feet, and stayed bent over for a minute, but she didn't see blood anywhere to suggest he'd had anything but the wind knocked out of him as she'd first supposed.

Sighing, she turned away from the window and passed through her room to the hall. Mabel had been left alone a long time. She should check to be sure she was all right.

Mabel was in the process of trying to get up when Elvi entered her room.

"No, no, no," she said at once, rushing forward. "You shouldn't get up."

"I need to go to the bathroom," Mabel announced with exasperation, waving her away as she stood.

"I'll help y-" Elvi froze as Mabel straightened and she got a good look at her. She'd only seen Mabel twice since the turning started. When they'd first arrived back from the Night Club, and then this morning on her way downstairs. Last night, Mabel had been thrashing so violently, Elvi hadn't paid attention to anything but helping to keep her from hurting herself, then of course, she'd been bitten. This morning, she'd merely peered in from the door and Mabel had been sleeping with her head turned away, the sheets tangled around her body and partially concealing her head.

She wasn't concealed now and Elvi just stood and gaped at the change. Mabel didn't look a day over twenty-two. Her face was peaches-and-cream perfection, her eyes were pure gold, her figure slender and lithe, and her hair a halo of shiny, glossy golden waves around her face.

Elvi shook her head in wonder. Mabel didn't look like she had when she was younger, she looked better. Unfortunately, the blonde had suffered a terrible case of acne as a teen and her complexion had forever after been pockmarked because of it. She'd also been too thin and flat-chested until she hit her mid-forties when she'd taken on a good forty pounds. Mabel was neither too thin now, nor overweight. The turning had removed at least twenty pounds, redistributing what it left behind to give her a healthy, curvy shape. She was gorgeous and had the added confidence of age to add to that beauty. It made Elvi wonder what the woman's life might have been like had she looked like this back then.

"You look almost as poleaxed as Teddy was when he saw me. Is it that bad?" Mabel asked warily, noting her expression.

Elvi managed to close her mouth, but then she just shook her head, took her by the arm, and led her over to stand in front of the full-length mirror at the foot of the bed.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Mabel breathed, staring at her reflection with stunned golden eyes.

Elvi grinned at her flummoxed expression, and then laughed as Mabel began to poke herself in various places as if to see if her new body was real. When she then opened her mouth and began to prod around in search of her canines, Elvi moved to the refrigerator to fetch a bag of blood. All she had to do was carry it back to her. The moment Mabel spotted the blood, her teeth began to shift and Mabel covered her mouth with dismay then whirled back to the mirror to look at them.

"Come on," Elvi said after letting her examine herself for a few more minutes. "You should get back in bed and feed."

"I don't want to get back in bed," Mabel said impatiently, but she did take the bag of blood. "Do I just..."

"Just open your mouth and pop it to your teeth," Elvi instructed, then watched her do it and smiled. "See? Easy. Now, at least sit on the bed while you feed."

Mabel followed reluctantly and sat on the bed as Elvi retrieved several more bags of blood from the refrigerator. The small mini fridge had originally been in DJ and Victor's room, but the men had moved it over last night.

While Mabel fed, Elvi regaled her with all that had happened since she and the men had left the house the day before. She told her about their trip to the club and Victor's coldness, then arriving back to find DJ in a state and her mid-turn.

Mabel flushed guiltily and interrupted her then to admit she remembered biting her the night before. When she started to apologize for it, Elvi waved it away.

"I bit you in Mexico. We're even," she said lightly, and then went on to tell her about Victor's sudden about-face last night, and, finally, the incident in the garden shed.

Mabel listened with eyes that grew wider as Elvi told her how both Teddy and Victor and even Edward had pretty much blamed her for nearly getting killed, as if it were her fault.

"Men!" Mabel snorted with disgust as she removed the last bag, then stood and headed for the bathroom door, saying, "Now, I really have to pee."

Chuckling, Elvi stood and followed to waited outside the door in case she suddenly became weak or passed out, but when the sound of the toilet flushing was followed by the shower turning on, she reached for the doorknob.

"Mabel, I don't think you ought to shower yet. What if you pass out or something?" she asked, opening the door.

"I won't. I feel fine," Mabel assured her, retrieving a towel and washcloth from the cupboard. "Besides, it's been almost twenty-four hours. You were up and around after twenty-four hours."

Elvi glanced at her wristwatch, startled to see that it was late-afternoon. She'd been up here for quite a while.

"What's wrong?" Mabel asked, catching her expression.

Elvi grimaced. "I'm just wondering what the men are doing."

"Who cares?" Mabel said with a snort.

"I do," Elvi admitted. "And you should too. Why hasn't DJ come up to check on you?"

"He did," Mabel announced. "He opened the door and stuck his head in while you were telling me about the Night Club. When he saw I was sitting up in bed, fine, and you were with me, he blew me a kiss and backed out."

"Oh," Elvi murmured, but began worrying her lip. DJ had been hanging over Mabel ever since he got to Port Henry, more so since the turning, and now he was suddenly downstairs with the men... It made her suspect that they were up to something.

She pondered what that could be while Mabel showered, and then stiffened where she leaned against the bathroom counter when there was a tap on the bedroom door.

Mabel stuck her head out of the shower to ask with a frown, "Was that the door?"

Elvi nodded.

"DJ wouldn't knock," Mabel said the obvious.

Nodding again, Elvi stared out at the bedroom door as if it were a snake, only relaxing when a second knock came, followed by a female voice calling, "Hello?"

"Karen," she said with relief. "I'll get it. Shout if you have a problem."

"I'm done, I'm getting out," Mabel announced and ducked back into the shower. Elvi heard the water shut off as she left the room.

"There you are," Karen smiled when Elvi opened the door, and then asked anxiously, "I didn't wake Mabel, did I? DJ said she was awake and you two were talking when he last checked, so I thought it would be okay to come up."

"Of course it's okay, and no you didn't wake Mabel," Elvi assured her, stepping aside to let her in. "She's in the shower."

"Oh, good. She's feeling better, then, is she?" Karen asked as she entered.

Elvi nodded and closed the door. "Much."

"Well, I came looking for Mike when he didn't come back after the fire and found the men in your dining room having a powwow. They say you've been having some trouble?"

"A little," Elvi admitted with a grimace. "But I'm sure it's nothing."

"Oh," Karen hesitated, and then told her, "Well, the men said you and Mabel weren't going to the fair tonight so I thought I'd come up and see if you wanted me to take the pies and-"

"They said what?" Elvi asked sharply.

Eyes wide at Elvi's tone of voice, Karen said uncertainly, "You aren't going to the fair?"

"Who said that? Victor?" she asked, her temper rearing its head.

"Well, actually, I think it was Teddy who said it first, but they all seemed to be in agreement."

"Teddy's still here too?" she asked with surprise.

"Yes. He and Mike have been here since the fire."

Elvi let her breath out slowly. She'd known they were up to something.

"I can take the pies for you," Karen repeated. "I mean, if you're in danger, maybe it is best if you stay here."

Elvi frowned. "I forgot about the pies. I still have another dozen to bake I think."

Karen shook her head. "The men did them. They're all done and the last three are cooling."

"Oh." Elvi stared at the wall, wondering how men could be so wonderful and so annoying at the same time. On the one hand, they'd helped make the pies, and now helped bake them, which was really sweet, but on the other hand, they were plotting to keep her from taking them to the fair to be sold.

"So I'll take the pies for you?"

"No, that's okay," Elvi said. "I'll take them."

Karen bit her lip, and then admitted, "I don't think they're going to let you out of the house, Elvi. They were plotting how to keep you here when I started upstairs."

"Oh, they were, were they?" Mabel said and both women turned to find her standing in the bathroom door, still damp from her shower and wrapped in a bath towel. She'd obviously heard everything.

"Mabel?" Karen gasped, staring at her with amazement. "You-You-"

"Not bad for an old broad, huh?" Mabel asked with amusement when Karen couldn't seem to find the words she was looking for.

Karen sank to sit on the side of the bed and just stared.

"I gather the men didn't mention that Mabel had turned?" Elvi asked gently.

Karen just shook her head, apparently dumbstruck.

Elvi patted her shoulder, and then glanced to Mabel as the woman crossed the room with determined strides.

"So the men are plotting, are they?" Mabel muttered as she moved to her closet and began to rifle through her clothes. "Well, they're about to have a fight on their hands. Mabel Allen and Ellen Stone do not lie down for anyone to step on. We-" She paused suddenly, alarm on her face, and then cried, "I don't have a thing that will fit me anymore!"

"I have clothes you can wear," Elvi said quickly, and then added, "And I have a plan too; one that doesn't include the need for confrontation."

"No confrontation?" Mabel asked, sounding almost disappointed. She always had been a fighter.

"Mabel, there are more of them and they're bigger than us," Elvi pointed out. "In a confrontation, they'd win. Brains are better here."

"Brains." Mabel nodded. "We've got them beat already, then."

Elvi smiled and turned toward the door. "Come on. Let's go find you something to wear. You too, Karen. We're definitely going to need your help."

"This isn't going to get me into trouble, is it?" Karen asked as she stood to follow.

"Trouble?" Elvi asked with surprise. "No, of course not. We're just going to the fair. It's not like we're going to do something illegal."