“Both.”

He laughs and puts them both in my hands.

Suddenly, Logan claps his hands together. “So, we sort of have an announcement to make,” he says. We all sit up, look up, or get up.

“Everything okay?” Paul asks, his brow furrowing.

Emily steps up next to Logan and he cups the back of her neck, pulling her against him. “So, I kind of knocked Emily up again.” He winces as he waits for their reactions.

“You’re pregnant?” Paul asks. He grabs Emily and squeezes her, swinging her around. She squeals and giggles.

Sam high-fives Pete. “Told you, dude,” he says. “Matt owes us ten bucks.”

“Fuck you,” Matt grunts out. “I don’t owe you shit. You totally cheated.”

“Wait,” Logan says. “You knew?”

Sam jerks a thumb toward Emily. “Her boobs were getting bigger.”

Pete nods. “And she’s been kind of moody.”

Matt tosses out, “And she can’t smell tuna anymore without puking.”

Paul shrugs. “And she’s been a little tired.”

Emily lifts both her middle fingers and jabs them at the boys’ faces, one by one.

“Oh, don’t be mad, Em,” Sam says. “We can’t help it if we notice your boobs.”

“I never noticed her boobs,” Matt grumbles.

“And that is why you’re a loser!” Pete sings out.

Finally, hugs make the rounds and the boys settle down for a game of Monopoly. My sisters get here, but they come and join the girls in the living room where we’re watching a sappy Christmas movie. Something about some shoes.

Star leans over toward me. “Who’s the new guy?” she asks.

“That’s Josh.”

Her brow arches. “Josh-with-the-gun Josh?” she asks. “Like, boom, between the eyes Josh?” She fakes a shot with her loaded finger. I grab her hands and pull them down.

“Would you stop it?” I hiss.

She lets her head wobble from side to side like she’s thinking. “He’s kind of cute in a don’t-touch-me-or-I’ll-bite-your-head-off sort of way.”

I turn her toward the TV. “Shhh!” I hiss again.

She settles back and puts her feet up on the coffee table.

It’s Christmas. She needs to behave herself.

Friday

My life turned into so much more than I ever expected it to be. I was alone for a really long time, and now I’m never alone. I look around at the women spread out on my couch. The babies are playing at our feet and the older kids are playing in Hayley’s room. We’re watching a movie about Christmas shoes. I keep hearing Peck hiss at her sisters for one reason or another. I get the feeling that Star is talking about Josh.

“He’s really nice,” I tell her. “You can talk to him. He won’t bite.”

“Oh, well, then I definitely don’t want to talk to him,” she says with a wink.

I laugh. PJ toddles over to me and holds up his hands. I pick him up and he puts his head on my shoulder.

“Someone is tired,” Peck says, her smile soft and wistful.

“Do you want me to put him to bed?” Paul calls from the table. He just bought Atlantic Avenue, though, and I don’t want to break his stride.

“I got it,” I tell him as I get up.

I go into the nursery and change PJ’s diaper and get him dressed in some warm socks. I rock him back and forth in the chair and we read a book. He pats the pages and finally settles, his eyes closing as I rock. Before he falls asleep, Jacob sneaks into the room and sits down at my feet.

“Is PJ going to sleep?” he whispers.

“Yes,” I tell him as I get up.

“You didn’t rock me when I was a baby,” he says.

My heart lurches. “No, you didn’t live with me when you were a baby. You lived with your adoptive mother and father.”

“Because they could keep me safe and fed.”

“And warm,” I add.

“And loved.”

“No one could love you more than me,” I tell him. Ever. A lack of love for him wasn’t a factor in my decision to put him up for adoption. It was just the opposite.

“My mom says you loved me first.”

I smile. “She’s right.”

He grins. “But she says she loves me more.”

“When she comes to pick you up, I’ll kick her in the kneecaps and tell her that’s not true.”

He heaves a sigh. “Okay, so she didn’t say that.”

I shoot him a glare. “I didn’t think so.”

“Can I kiss PJ?” he asks.

I hold PJ down a little so Jacob can kiss his head. He scurries out of the room as quickly as he arrived.

Paul walks up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. He squeezes gently. “You okay?” he asks.

“Did you hear that?”

“Yep.”

I lean back against him, letting him take my weight.

He whispers in my ear, “I want to watch when you kick her in the kneecaps.” He chuckles as I swing and try to hit him.

“Why aren’t you playing Monopoly? Someone is going to steal all your houses.”

“Kelly just called. She’s coming to get Hayley in the morning, instead of tonight.”

Kelly is leaving Hayley with us more and more. It’s really odd and I can’t get a handle on it in my head. “Is she seeing someone?”